[Music]
Hello world, welcome to just being intentional with Thomas Harris. My name is Thomas Harris. I'm the host here and
we thank you for being here with us. First things first, we want to make sure that we get this thing continuing to go on.
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We got some really powerful stories coming into this show. So once again we thank you for being here.
With that being said, I have a very special guest here on the show today.
Talitha Phillips is the chief executive officer of Claris Health and this is based out of Los Angeles.
Talitha is also a friend of mine. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to bring her on to this show today.
So you're all in for a treat as we introduce Talitha.
Talitha, thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. How are you?
I'm good. I'm good. Thanks for having me.
Claris Health. Can you tell us about your company, what you represent?
Absolutely. Yeah. So Claris, we’re a non profit here. We've been based in Los Angeles since the 70s. So about to celebrate 48 years, actually.
I didn't know that part. Yeah. It's been around for quite a while.
But we've expanded throughout the years as we've really sort of seen some of the needs in the city.
So we primarily work with pregnant women and families with kids under the age of five.
But we've expanded for beyond beyond that. That mostly doing medical mental health and support services.
The word “Claris" means clarity. And that's really what it's about if I could sum it up in one sentence.
It's just bringing clarity to what can feel like really confusing or dark situations in life and journeying with people through those.
Okay. So the core services that Claris provides for your clients are...
We do medical care. So everything from some people come to us when they first find out they're pregnant.
We have a very unique prenatal care program called centering pregnancy. So it's group-based prenatal care.
We do STD or STI testing and treatment. We do...
So we kind of break the services in this before, during and after. So if you think about like before your pregnant,
what are all the preventative types of services? Our goal would be to hopefully put ourselves out of business
because people don't need our services anymore. So we have like a youth education program that goes into local schools
and working with young people on the preventative side. And then that's where some of the STD testing and everything comes in as well.
And then in those moments, if you think you might be pregnant, and then after. And after can look very different depending on some of the choices that people make.
So we do have prenatal care. We have parenting classes, material assistance, therapy. I guess therapy runs through all of them, right?
So anybody that needs to talk to a professional counselor, I think sometimes when you face these issues, you realize there's a lot of other traumas or past situations that are sort of come up.
So we offer that. And then there's adoption support for those who might choose to place for adoption and then post-agortion support for anybody that walks through that decision.
So it's very comprehensive, very holistic or what in medical terms is called integrated care. Just thinking about how you're not just a physical being. There's seen emotional aspects as well.
But you don't have to tell me that this is a much needed thing for the world. Because there's a lot of things going on and a lot of people trying to make decisions that the best possible decisions and you guys are helping them do that.
So what would you say are some of those pivotal moments or the inspiration for you to start doing this? What, how many 23, 24 years or so?
Yes, I'm about to celebrate my 23rd anniversary here. Half my life. I've basically half my life, literally half my life.
Oh, have a anniversary. Thank you. It's interesting. I mean, I'd love to say this. I dreamed of doing this. And I do have kind of a funny thing that I thought of recently when I was a little, my parents were missionaries and we grew up overseas.
And I went to German school and back in the day when you walked five miles to school, but no, literally we walked a very long way to school every day. And I remember, yeah, back of the days when our parents trusted us or I don't know or didn't know any better.
So I remember as a little kid walking to school one day and I would always have this idea and I would tell some of my friends like, when I'm older, I'm going to have this house on the beach for pregnant girls to live, which is such a weird thing because I must have been between like eight and 10 years old.
We had as a family, we'd been in Amsterdam for a while and we were in Germany. And so I wasn't, I was very used to seeing needs around us. And I, I think my parents actually did a really good job of translating that to something that I could can understand.
I don't have a house on the beach and I don't have pregnant women there, but there was this weird thing that I had this idea that there were girls that could need help and that I wanted to in some way be a part of that.
So flash forward, never imagined I work for a nonprofit, never imagined I would do anything like this. But my being here really came from a very personal experience that I went through and what I turned to Claire's for help when I was in college and went through one of their support groups.
For other women who like me had experienced an abortion and it changed my life in so many ways. And I think initially when I went through it, I thought, you know, this was amazing and thank you. And I'd love to volunteer in some way and give back. But there were obviously much bigger plans.
And so me coming here was more of an act of surrender where others actually said, we really think you should work at this at the time tiny organization. We really feel like you should work here and I ran from it for quite a while.
And then finally had this sort of surrender moment of maybe maybe I am supposed to do this with my life. And here I am.
And you know, all these years later and I can't now I can't really imagine doing anything else because it has become it has become such a calling in my life.
Wow. Some of this is brand new information for me like you and I know each other, but we don't you know we haven't gotten deep in the you know below the surface as far as knowing each other.
But that's kind of the surprise about doing the show is like I get to hear some of the things about people who haven't really talked about some of those experiences.
So it's important and that's why that's my motivation for doing this is to hear about people and where where they come from and and where they are today and where they are planning to go in the future.
So this is this is awesome stuff. So you already talked about your you know personal values, you know through your own experience, which is part of motivation. Why are you doing this.
So can you share any you know one or two stories during your time with Claris that were impactful for you some of the young young women that you've held along the way that just kind of reaffirmed what your purpose is in doing what you're doing.
Absolutely. You know I so many faces that you know pop into my mind as I think about it. I think you know there are a few that really leave an impact on your heart and in your life and the first one I'm thinking of is actually was an adoption story where a young woman came to Claris and and made an adoption choice and ended up needing a place to stay.
For a while and moved in with us for the last I think six weeks of her pregnancy, which is a very you know.
There's so much more to that story of how that happened, but I had never had a lot of very personal experience with adoption and so going through that and then I should say I'm a dola on the site.
I go through birth labor and deliveries with with tons of women I've been doing that as well for 23 years so I got to be her dola and went to the hospital with her and I will never forget the the moment that the family came to pick up the baby and how she was very conflicted in that moment of whether she was going to go through with it and I remember.
I was going no no no you can't you know obviously I didn't say any of this to her right but in the moment I'm like how are we going to hand the baby over to another family and we can make this work and the truth is we could and even through Claris there was all the we would have wrapped arms around her and helped her raise this child if that was the choice that she wanted but she had made this adoption plan and she had decided that was the best decision for her.
And so walking through that and seeing the lost driving her home to our house without a baby and watching is you know she's supposed to be breastfeeding but there's no baby and all the things that we walk through and how painful that was and then a few years later my youngest daughter was adopted and so walking through on the other side being the family that drives home with the baby and loving this birth mom so much and and wanted to honor her through this and so that was one of those where I really feel like I experienced the first thing.
Because I needed to know the depths of that grief to then beyond the other side so this isn't like a winning and losing right like it is a difficult decision that people walk through so that's the one that that really sticks out and then I have you know so many others is you know so many situations where that people who we've served to become a part of our life I think that there are a lot of people say when they came to Claris they feel like they're really good.
And so I think that's the kind of thing that they do.
And so you guys have those conversations about do the work.
And I'm sure a lot of those situations that you find yourselves in,
that there's a lot of joy, but there's also a lot of sorrow in those moments too,
because you're opening yourself up to sometimes the worst thing can happen.
And you're right there in the thick of it.
So how do you deal with those times where it doesn't turn out the way that you anticipate it?
That's a good question.
I mean, I think perspective is helpful.
I think if we are in relationship with others because our focus is on the outcome,
we're always going to be disappointed, right?
Because this is human nature.
And you're living your life.
And I'm living my life.
And so if I'm in relationship with you, because I want you to do things,
then I'm going to always be disappointed because you are a separate person.
So I think perspective to say, I'm in this person's life for a reason.
And maybe a season.
Maybe it's a reason and it's a season, right?
But the reason I'm there is to link arms and to join them and to listen and to process
and to offer advice where I'm invited to, where I can.
But a lot of times it's just helping them navigate.
I mean, I think one of the number one things I like to ask people,
especially in the situations that we see is, if you could silence all the voices in your head,
what would you do?
Right?
Right.
And most of the time I'm with this big pause because no one's thought about what they want
because there's so many people telling them what to do.
Right.
And so I think for me, it's like, look, if somebody at the end says,
you know, they want to do something that I don't think is maybe the wisest decision
or maybe the best, it's still the decision that they're walking through.
And if they feel more educated about that or if they feel more loved,
you know, that they're not going through this alone, I think for me,
that's a big deal.
And sometimes it's having to bite our tongues.
And sometimes it's just saying, you know, I love you or I'm here for you
or I support you, where you're at.
Yeah.
So sometimes, you know, we as believers, you know, we want people to speak into our lives.
But tragically, sometimes there's too many voices in our lives.
And it's not helpful.
Some people just kind of overstep.
They just do too much.
And sometimes just the, you know, less is more in a lot of cases because, you know,
it just makes that person more confused about what decisions they need to make with their lives.
So for the people that are just there and, you know, primarily they're just listening
and trying to understand this person's situation better.
And that's, that involves getting the backstory.
Rather than just be the person with just input, input, input rather, you know,
be that person that's saying, what is going on?
How did you get in this situation?
And how can we assist you in getting into a better space?
So, you just being there as an advocate is extremely helpful for those individuals that are going through these, you know,
some of the biggest decisions that are ever make with their lives.
So you brought up adoption and you have adopted yourself.
So we know that adoption plays a significant role in discussions about reproductive health
because it's giving options for people who, I think about my mom, my mom was 16 when she had me.
And, you know, I don't know if adoption was even on her radar.
She said herself like, you know, abortion is not an option for me.
So even knowing that her life would be extremely difficult raising a baby, you know, when she's a kid herself.
But you found a family or a woman that had that in mind and you were able to take this child home to be yours.
And we talked about it recently about how God adopts us into his family.
So it's a picture of what the, on the human side, what we do in this on Earth with the gift of adoption.
Can you expound on that?
Yeah, I think, you know, I think adoption is a really nuanced, like all of these, you know,
if you look at, you know, just reproductive health, right, all the reproductive choices, they're very nuanced.
And I think that often, you know, people like to take sides and make these issues very black and white when there's a lot of gray, so to speak in the middle.
And I think adoption is, you know, a, there is loss involved in adoption.
There's gain, you know, so there's joy and there's, there's heartbreak.
And you have to be willing to live with both of those.
I think the, I often ask people like, what's your intention with adoption?
Because if the intention is just to get a baby or add a baby to your family, right?
Like a lot of people who enter the adoption space are dealing with their own grief of not being able to have a child or others have children, but they're like, I really feel like I should do this.
And I mean, I've even talked to people where I feel like, gosh, it was so trendy for a while that everyone was like, we're going to adopt.
But I think for me, it was very much, yes, I would love to have another child.
But also, I'm opening my heart and my life and my family up to another whole family.
So, you know, my daughter, I don't have two girls. One is biological. One was adopted.
I love them both so much. They're very unique.
But my little one wasn't added to my family to just make my family bigger.
And we adopted in a sense her whole family as well. You know, there's birth mom, there's aunts, there's uncles, there's cousins, there's grandparents.
So this big family, and it's not always that way.
There are sometimes you get a call and there's a baby at the hospital. You never know anything about the birth family.
But I think what's nice about this is that just removing a lot of the stigma and a lot of the fear.
You know, I hear a lot of fear when people walk into adoption. What if they change their mind? What if something happens?
And I think, you know, for me, raising two girls, you know, there's so much, you could fall into so much fear about your biological children.
And you know, there's just so much. And so I think, yeah, having, I was talking to somebody about it recently.
And they are fostering as a really challenging situation.
And they have biological children and a foster child. And I remember saying, like, in your home is the brokenness of the world and the hope of heaven.
I like you are seeing the very manifestation. Now that doesn't mean it's because adoption.
I mean, I have friends who are struggling with, well, I'm a 16 year old daughter. I feel like life is really not easy right now.
And then I'm an 11 year old and but what a beautiful opportunity as parents when we let go of the grip of like, oh, these are my genetics or these are, I'm such a good parent because I did X, Y, and Z.
And then just sort of letting go and just saying, look, that idea, like in my home is the brokenness of this world and the challenges of this world.
But my hope is not in this world. And I think it gives a really good perspective.
Right. You know, whether you're biological or adopted, you know, it's like for us, for us, for us, for mom said, you know, life is like a box of chocolate.
You never know what you're going to get. It's the same with kids because kids are different. You know, you have, you got five kids and four of them could be perfect angels.
And then one is, you know, spawn a Satan, you know, like, you just never know the reality is that you're raising up, you know, people to grow up and to be, you know, respectable human beings in the world.
And they're going to fight against doing the right things all the time, just like we did, you know, I have to keep reminding myself that I was a kid.
I was rebellious and I thought I knew better than my parents did. So, you know, that's the challenge. So, you know, so bringing in a kid from another biological family is, you know, it could be a beautiful thing too.
As you know, she, you know, she, she had a kid at 18 years old before I met her and she placed this child for adoption and beautiful story is that, you know, her cousin, you know, six weeks later placed her child with the same family.
And so these two cousins went from, you know, they went from being cousins to sisters and, you know, to make the story even more beautiful is that today, you know, she's going on 30 now.
And my kids know her as their big sister. So, there's a lot of beauty and adoption and, you know, there's going to be hard times as well.
But we could look at the beautiful times and say, hey, is this the right thing to do to give a child sometimes they have an opportunity to have a better life than they would have if they stay with their, their birth parents.
So, it's pretty awesome. Adoption is a beautiful thing. We haven't adopted, but I'm very familiar with the story.
It's awesome what you're doing and keep doing what you're doing. So, a couple more things before we get going.
A message that you like to pass on to some of the young women that are facing these hard decisions about their reproductive health and how, how do you support them in making the most informed and intentional choices?
That's a really good, it's a really good deep question. I mean, you can thank my producer for that. He helped me out with that one.
You know, I think, yeah, I mean, I think it kind of goes to that question I said earlier, right? Like, if you could silence all the voices in your head.
Like, what is it that you want to do? I think that's one thing, right? Because I think, innately, a lot of times we know that answer, but it's the pressures of the world that kind of get to us.
That would do one. The other thing is just a reminder that your value does not come from performance, right? Like, we have an inherent, our lives have inherent value.
And fear is so powerful. And I think there's a lot of fear of just performing or appearing a certain way.
I mean, I think of my own story. I was just so afraid to admit that I'd made a mistake. So then I made more mistakes to cover up.
And that just left me so wounded and really hurting versus what would it have been like if I would have realized that my value and my worth aren't based on how well I perform or how well I make my parents look.
And how the choices I make and if I had just felt comfortable enough to say, look, I need help. And so I think, to young people, I'm like, look, there's no decision that's too far.
There's nothing you can do that makes you unlovable or your life unworthy. And so reach out for help.
And hey, if you reach out to one person and they don't respond well, reach out to another, you know, I think just finding that strength, the most courageous thing sometimes to do is to say I need help.
And what an opportunity to allow people to come alongside and help help you through a difficult situation.
So yeah, when I think about the goodness of God is that he doesn't require that we get ourselves all cleaned up before we come to him.
He says, come as you are and we're going to have a hand, couple of hands full of messes and, you know, that are just dripping on the floor.
And it's nothing that's too big for him.
He takes our messes and he cleans us up just like we would with our own children. You made a mess of yourself, child, let me help you because he knows sometimes you just can't do it.
You know, there's times I have those days where it's like, I throw my hands up and I said, Lord, I ain't got it today.
So you're going to have to do something because I got nothing and those are the times where he really comes through for us when we're open and honest about our situations.
And when we consider past traumas where others are just kind of sweeping things under the rug, it's like, no, I'm going to come to him, just strip down bear naked and he's going to help pick me up because he loves me that much because I am his child.
So something to really consider on a more personal note, what are some of the aspects of your life that you feel that you need to be to live more intentionally because the show, the name of the show is just being intentional.
And part of me doing this is just I'm just simply being intentional and that's having people on to share their story. So I want to challenge other people that come on the show and even those that are listening to think and consider the things that we know that we need to be doing.
So what do you need? What does to lead the Phillips need to be more intentional about in her life?
We live such busy lives, even in a city like LA, I, I, Clarice is a massively full-time job and then I'm also a doula and then I have two kids and I think my, the area I feel most convicted is being more intentional with my kids.
But there's so many, he could look at my life and be like, oh, she's so many good, there's so many good things that I do, right? But I have two girls at home that need me way more than I'm available.
And so I think being intentional with my time with them and finding a way to block out, I'm, you know, I'm on call all the time. And so I think being able to just say, no, you value, I mean, it's interesting like they have a saying where I can tell they know that I'm not really listening to them or they're like, oh, she's, you know, she's doing this thing in her head or they'll ask you a question.
So I think yeah, just trying to be more intentional because I think the window of time, that your kids are in the home. I mean, everyone always says this, but it really is so fast and I'm looking at I have two years left with my other one with my older one less, less than two years of her being in the house.
And she's not one of those kids that's going to stay home like she can't wait to go to college. She's like, you know, kids so excited. Maybe my other one will never leave me. But, but yeah, I think being intentional is our time together. And yeah, yeah, it's funny. I feel like there's everyone prepares you for the first, the first couple years, right? And we pour all this into like, how are we going to handle these babies? But there's not this like guidebook for the teen years, you know, that feels so.
Much harder, honestly. And it's a little bit of a wild card too, because they're growing and changing. And so, yeah, that's mine.
Yeah, so finding that healthy balance between work and then for me personally is like, I can just get all everything just zapped from me from work, hard day of work. And then I have to have a little left in the tank for my family.
And I can easily say I just want to come home and just veg out and not have to think anymore, because I've done so much thinking throughout my day. But, I mean, this is what I signed up for.
So I have to invest in my my my wife and my kids. And, you know, it's not about me. So I have to consider that I deez people in my house, they need me. And you talk about how fast it goes.
Just recently had my middle child almost 20 years old. She moved out, living with her best friend now. And now we're preparing for a wedding for our oldest. So in the same year, we're going to go from three kids in the house to just one.
And that's just so wild to think about. They've been loaned to me. You know, the Lord has loaned my my family to me. And, you know, I have to give them back. And they're going to go off and live their own lives.
And, you know, I have to think about did I do a good enough job? You know, is it was a subpar? Was it decent? Was it better than average? Like you just never know. But, you know, sometimes your kids will let you know later on that you did a pretty good job.
So we have to just trust in the process. Do what we know we're supposed to do with our kids and hope that they take in notes and they will let us know later on. So it's awesome to know that considering challenges and, you know, being resilient, like running this this resource center, Claire's health.
What are some of the obstacles that you you've faced and how are you able to overcome some of those obstacles were running this organization?
Yeah, I mean, I think so, you know, women's health reproductive health, whatever, you know, to me, one of you might be some of the most polarizing or the most polarizing topic in our nation, especially going into an election year. And it seems there's constantly, you know, things in the news.
And I think if for the most of society is used to seeing this in more political terms and attaching labels and I think one of the challenges that I've experienced is that everyone wants to put you in a box, right?
And I think that the challenge I face being really young and stepping in that was 20 I was a 23 year old director of this organization and looking around going.
Yeah, the way that they were doing things when I joined was not it was not very effective and it wasn't going to be effective for long, right? So I think I was so fortunate that when I started.
I had this board of directors that said, hey, we want to support you and take us on this journey with you and let's look at the needs of the city and be willing to create a model of care that's actually effective in.
This city with the people that were called to serve and as a result it meant that we don't look like we're supposed to look right means that the language I use makes some time that everybody mad right because they're like, no, no, just speak the language I want to hear or speak the language I want to hear and I think it's.
Put us in this will or me the challenges I face is like I'm I've been put in this place were in a way sometimes you're accused by all sides.
And yet I feel firmly planted in the with my feet on the ground saying this is who we've called we are called to be.
And I feel like there's messaging that has unified people around the issue that divides people so like I love to think about our gala we do a fundraise in gala every October and I look around in the room and I get so excited because I'm like, they have no idea like we have different political parties and.
And all these people join together because they actually care deeply about women and then and families in these situations and I think there is so much more common ground than our society knows you know we're used to the screaming on social media and the political rants and you know all that stuff but.
But when you actually get together and you focus on the story and you focus on the lives we agree to a lot more than we disagree and the extremes will always be the extremes and so.
I have a hard time with the extremes of both sides and I think being in the field of actually caring for people helps me gives me a lot of empathy for where people land.
And understanding a lot of it is based in sort of personal experience but the truth is you know we can all be more empathetic and understanding and listening you know a lot of our model came from listening to the needs of the community so like one little example is you know infant and maternal mortality is huge is a huge problem actually in our nation and especially among.
Or it's a black and brown women and the statistics are devastating and so you know you've got this side that loves everyone loves to talk about abortion it's like but let's let's talk about.
The maternal mortality rates and infant mortality these children that are dying under the age of one like those are equally as important issues and so it it helped us create a voice in the city to say absolutely we value these lives we have a clinic in South L.A.
That largely serves you know women that are at greatest risk of infant maternal mortality rates and we're going to develop a prenatal care program that is the only evidence based program that helps reduce the health disparities that we find in the city so I think it's just one example of I can see the positive of that but it was difficult to like we're not talking about abortion no we're talking about this and everyone wants to keep talking about this and we're like no no we're focused right now on this which is an equally important issue so.
Yeah you said it you know the division within this country is primarily because there's two sides that don't want to hear each other you're wrong and in the story so I'm going to walk away and I give you an opportunity to speak up on why you think this way why you have these certain beliefs but I think if we are more willing to come together we we don't always have to agree.
But have a little respect for you know they're going to be people to have different opinions on things but the important thing to focus on is like what what are we doing what is our mission we are on the side of life and it's not a political statement it's just facts we we're here on the side of life and and that's why I stand as a as a believer as a Christian.
And I you know politics and both sides are wrong a lot of times but what is what is the most what was the most important thing that we have to consider and and I'm on the side of life and that's just not a political statement and that's where I will remain but let's keep having those conversations that cause division but we will have a better understanding and a more more of a
respect for one another because we're at least trying to just hear each other out and then you can keep him over from there so the next five years for Claire's what are your aspirations.
We have a really exciting opportunity that has been haven't talked about this much at all but sort of in in lines of what we've been talking about is understanding the needs of the city and how fragmented the care is and so we're in the process of we're going to be opening a campus actually in in South L.A.
There's a statistics that says that if a person walks into a social service agency for help they are on average given six to eight referrals to additional organizations and how difficult it is to navigate that especially where there's transportation challenges or mental health issues or past trauma.
And so we are trying to bring all of those resources that are particularly for pregnant women and families with kids under the age of five under one roof so we are in escrow on a property right now and we are linking arms with organizations in the city who do very different things so right now we have a job placement agency for survivors.
We have an organization that is going to handle child care so there will be free drop in child care so if you access any service in the campus you can drop your kids off for two hours for free.
We have a medical clinic coming in that just pediatric in general health and hopefully job training and so we have all sorts of other things and there will be a playground a safe playground basketball court for after school coffee shop so really creating a community center that says look we're going to have a community center.
We want to help eliminate some of these barriers and ultimately change lives right we want healthy children in thriving healthy families and so that's our goal so that's a super exciting thing and I think you know vision perspective and it's not going to be clear so one of the things I will I'll say to you that has been a huge conviction for me is that it.
Claris isn't we're just the stage right we're just the platform that allows people to do the work that they're called to do and so I think you know this won't be the clearest campus I don't know what is going to be called yet we're so we're doing that but it will be a joint effort that maybe other cities in the nation could adopt as well and I think what if this happened in New York City and Houston and Miami and Minneapolis you know and you got these campuses it came together and said we're just going to build these communities.
For people to you because I think one of the hardest things about these these situations is so often just feel alone.
Whether you're raising a new baby or whether you place to child or whether you have a history of pregnancy loss whatever it is you think you're the only one but you're not and so if you can walk through that in community I think outcomes will be so much better.
That's awesome I'm excited to hear about that working in homeless ministry you know we talk about trauma a lot we have one of our trainings is is a trauma informed care and it's like I said earlier it's about what is the backstory of this individual that's in front of me.
And to have the patients and the willingness to have those conversations to gather more information that will help you to help that person is is what we need to be about and we just need more of those people and you're definitely one of those people and I appreciate you for it if there's anything I could do to help.
I'm trying to build a platform and it's not about me it's about just doing the right thing I'm just being intentional we will definitely put the word out there so more and more people can hear about what you're up to and what you're trying to do in the future and we're going to be a support for you in your mission so I will I really appreciate you coming on the show I think this will touch a lot of people.
Thank you thank you so much.
So we'll be in touch and let's keep it going.
Sounds good. Have a good day. Thanks everyone.
Thank you guys so much for joining the show today.
Claire's health is who we want to be looking out for so do some research on Claire's health and help us support to lead the Phillips and what her mission is and please help us out if you will make sure you like and subscribe so that we can keep getting these stories out there and we appreciate having your own show.
Thank you guys God bless.
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