Welcome back to Kultura Crossing Podcasts,
where we explore the faith, the culture and wisdom.
I am your host Iris and in today's episode,
we are going to dive into the complexities
of navigating toxic behavior within the Christian community
and discuss some strategies for maintaining grace
and transparency in the midst of conflict.
Toxic behavior among Christians is a topic
that often goes undressed.
Yet, its impact can be very profound
from judgmental attitudes to manipulation,
from spiritual abuse, toxic behavior can
enrol relationships and hinder the spiritual growth.
So today, we're going to explore the psychological roots
of the toxic behavior among Christians,
including the bitterness and the jealousy, strife,
dispute, and division.
We'll discuss on how these behaviors are stemming
from feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and how they can
harm both the individual and the community as a whole.
When we draw from the psychological research
and the biblical wisdom, it will explain practical strategies
for navigating those toxic behaviors within the community,
from setting healthy boundaries to extending forgiveness,
promoting unity, while exploring how
we can cultivate grace and resilience in the face of conflict.
One of the first things that I want to go into
is identifying that toxic behavior amongst us.
In the psychological perception, toxic behavior
among Christians, such as judgmental attitudes, manipulation,
gossip, and spiritual abuse, can be fueled
by underlining issues that is already present,
like insecurity, pride, or even,
this is our hot topic right now, on-resolved trauma.
These behaviors not only harm others,
but also damage the individual's own well-being,
leading to bitterness and resentment.
The multitude of divorces that has happened
within the past three years, the majority of them,
a good percentage of them, resulted
from the partners not ever dealing with their on-resolved trauma.
When they realized there was a toxic relationship,
there was a leak in their soul the whole time.
The separation came from the reality of something
here isn't right.
When we look at spiritual insight,
we look at Matthew chapter 7, verse 1 to 5,
it warns us against hypocritical judgment.
It highlights the importance of self-reflection
before correcting others.
So let's take a look at that.
Matthew chapter 7, 1 to 5 says,
do not judge, or you too will be judged.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.
And with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the spec of the sawed dust in your brother's eye
and pay no attention in the plank of your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
let me take the spec out of your eye,
when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrit first take the plank out of your own eye
and then you will see clearly to remove the spec from your brother's eye.
This is this, this scripture right here.
I just, I'm gonna open it up and amplify it.
Be amplified usually always likes to break down
the scripture for you.
It says in verse 7, verse 5,
in the amplified, you hypocrite, play actor, pretender.
First get the log out of your own eye
and then you will clearly take the spec out of your brother's eye.
The first verse statement,
I'm going to make a practical illustration of it.
When it says, do not judge and criticize
and condemn others unfairly with the attitude of self-righteousness
as though assuming the office of a judge.
So that you will not be judged unfairly.
It says, do not judge and criticize
and condemn others unfairly with the attitude of self-righteousness superior
as though assuming the office of a judge
so that you will not be judged unfairly.
The illustration for this, I say, for example,
you know, maybe at some point you made a interval for women,
I will never or man, I will never have a child at the age of 18.
I will never do what such and such is doing.
All of a sudden, months or years later, you find
that you did the very thing that scene person you judged it.
That is what according to the measure of how you judge came back.
A lot of times we don't realize that our own words,
our own heart posture can cause very issues
in our own life.
And then we wanna blame someone or we wanna blame Satan
and we wanna blame demons, but the reality is is that
your own mouth plagued your own judgment.
And we have to watch and listen of the things
that are coming out of our heart when we get ready to judge
or criticize or condemn something.
It's saying in scripture, don't do it assuming that you're the judge.
And I think that oftentimes when we go to deal with toxic
behaviors of people, if we're affected by it,
we want to judge, criticize and condemn.
We were affected by the toxic.
That is not what the scripture is saying
on how we should approach it.
It's warning us against this.
It's highlighting the point of yourself reflection.
Before you go off correcting others,
before you go off sitting at the table,
try to address a situation, are you still infected?
Your infection is still present.
There's no way that there's going to be a solution
in correction in this moment.
In this moment, you are naturally positioning yourself
as a judge and you want to place judgment in a place
that you feel is adequate, it's justifying
because your self righteousness is present.
We have to take a hold of the toxic behaviors in our life.
We have to take hold of the toxic mentalities in our life,
puts us before man and says,
"We are here to judge, to judge you according to a measure
that is not what the Lord, our God has written in the Bible."
He didn't say, "This is the way I want you to do it."
There was ways that God sent people to judge
and it wasn't to judge all these things.
We would judge them so that they would repent.
God's judgment was for them to repent.
This posture is a judgment of no repentance but condemnation.
This is a dark posture.
This is not a light posture.
This is not the light of Christ.
This is a, you know, the moment where Peter,
Jesus told Peter, "You don't know what spirit
you're operating in."
This is why it's important to have self-reflection,
reflection before you start thinking
you're in a good place to go correct someone.
Additionally, Ephesians chapter four, verse 31 and 32,
it exalts believers to get rid of all bitterness,
rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice
and to be kind, compassionate for giving one another
as God forgives us.
We have to get to this place where we identify
when we are being malicious,
when we identify that when we're being revengeful,
when we identify the place of shade
where we're throwing darkness into the life of someone else
because of the pain we want to justify
that we endured being among them.
It's not validating.
It's not going to validate the issue
or the circumstances that you've been through.
It's not going to change your heart
and release you into freedom.
We have to identify, reflect on the nature of our approach
when we are approaching our community
that is maybe infected with toxic behavior.
Let's look at some cases.
The first case I want to talk about
is the case of hidden envy within the community.
The scenario plays out that there's a mark and a John
and both are active members of the church.
John serves as a worship leader and is admired by
everyone because of his talent, his charisma,
while Mark is involved in various outreach programs
and is known for his compassion,
his dedication and serving others,
and the actions of support for one another.
Mark is secretly harboring feelings of envy towards John.
John's perceived success and being recognized within the church.
Mark's envy begins to manifest
and it's often disguised as admiration
or friendly competition.
He finds himself comparing his own achievements
and his contributions to those of John.
Feeling a sense of inadequacy and resentment
when he perceives John receiving more praise and attention,
Mark may downplay John's accomplishments
and undermine his efforts in the attempt
to boast his own self-esteem.
Now, unconscious defense mechanism
because this is what's happening in Mark.
There's an unconscious defense mechanism.
I would love to sit here and talk about the conscious
and the subconscious mind and the unconscious parts
but this would take a really long time to get through it.
Maybe that will be a podcast at some point.
But the unconscious defense mechanism right now,
Mark may not consciously recognize his feeling and be.
Instead, he's rationalizing them as a harmless or justified.
He may attribute his negative thoughts or behaviors towards John
to be legitimate, legitimate concerns
or differences of opinion,
failing to acknowledge that the underlying envy
is driving his actions.
Let's talk about this for a minute.
There was a time that I was in the vehicle
and this is how I was awakened from the unconscious mind
to my conscience that there was a person that was close to me
that was envious of my life
and I didn't understand why, right?
Because we look at our life and we're like,
there's nothing really extravagant
but someone else is admiring your life
and you may not know it, just like Mark didn't know it.
So in this car ride, Holy Spirit was saying,
hey, I want you to identify this next moment
and in this next moment, I heard a sentence or a phrase,
I wish I hope that I receive the same as what you received.
Now this was specific in what I received
and I'm not stating exactly what it was
but I'm breaking it down so that you can understand
that this was the statement
and I thought, okay, what's the big deal about that?
Later on with this particular person,
it began to manifest more where it was evident
that there was envy
and I did not know what was happening
and I began to do a study on what is envy.
Envy hides.
It hides within a person
and when it begins to manifest,
it will begin to manifest in these places
whether it's trying to foster opinions
or acknowledge or justify what you're doing
or saying is right when the reality is
is that the root of what is happening
is actually being caused by envy
and you wouldn't know that because you are sleeping in this.
You're not awakened.
So in this place of awakening,
the Holy Spirit has to wake you up to identify
what is operating so that you will know how
to proceed to address it.
And in that moment, I said,
how do you tell someone that their envy is
and they don't even know it?
Like, how do you even do that?
Like, I'm gonna sit down and say,
hey, you're envy.
It's like, it was like, whoa,
like what's happening here?
Like, I'm gonna have to say something about this
and I have to do it in a way that I'm coming to the table
where my heart is open to love
so that they cannot say that it's coming at them
in a place where I am being boastful and conceited
because I wanna address the fact that you're envious
and it's like, that's a big thing for someone.
It's a big thing to come at them and say,
hey, you're operating in envy.
So, yeah, so that's a whole another story, but
now we see Mark is manifesting unconsciously
and then the consequence happens.
The presence of unrecognized envy
can create tension and discord within our community.
Underlining genuine relationship and slowly losing trust.
John May Sence, the competitor from Mark,
leading to a strain, interactions and a lack of,
you know, authentic connection between them.
It left unchecked.
Mark's hidden envy may contribute to feelings
of isolation and disunity within the church,
hindering its ability to fulfill his mission and purpose.
So this example of illustration is revealing
how hidden envy can impact relationships
within a Christian community,
even when an envious person is unaware
of their own feelings, recognizing
and addressing envy requires humility.
It's exactly what I say there before you gotta come
humbly to the table.
There's a need for self-awareness and a willingness
to confer one's own insecurities and fears,
but fostering a culture of transparency,
vulnerability and mutual support,
we can actually cultivate this genuine relationship
based on love and acceptance within our communities of faith.
Now, I'm talking to you about this today
because these are things that I had to learn in leadership.
Now, what am I saying that before I knew this,
I was leading,
I didn't know the death of all of this when I was leading.
So when these things were manifesting,
I did not have a clarity or strategy
on what was really happening
and you're pointing out a lot of things,
but you're trying to figure it out at the same time.
And at the same time, you possibly could have been infected
because you don't know what's going on.
So if Mark decided to have a conversation with somebody
and Mark starts spewing out this envy into the people,
the people start thinking like Mark unconsciously,
no one's picking it up and then this begins to become a thing.
And the next thing you know, you have now a disconnected body
who does not know where the disconnect is,
who can't pinpoint the disconnect.
And all because the Bible makes it clear
you will perish from the lack of knowledge.
You will perish from not knowing.
You know, I just yesterday I was informed
through God, the Holy Spirit, himself telling me
that you were going to write a book called Leading with Zeal.
Passion is ruling and breaking the protocol.
And this book is going to be based on leadership
who begins to lead without the proper training of protocol.
And just the primary ruling of their leadership is passion
and how dangerous that can be not only for, you know,
for yourself as a leader but for those that you're leading.
And one of the influences of that is,
is based out of my life is based out of my own leadership.
Things I got had identified and said, Hey, because you had
unresolved trauma,
these things manifested.
And yes, they were hurtful to some
and beneficial to others because of my transparency.
I didn't understand how important it is to have your soul detoxed.
You know, this is past soul healing guys.
This is past my inner healing.
This is past getting deliverance.
This is the moment of God calling forth
who you really are in a full maturity,
full functioning maturity.
Not this is not your average healing of the soul.
No, this is not your average healing of the spirit.
No, this is God pulling out the core, your mantle
and getting you to function in this.
And when this starts to happen, you will begin to see the
immaturity in your life where things played out
and it could have been done differently.
The only thing we can do about those moments of our life
is actually move forward and utilize and apply all the things
that you are learning now and make it where it's available
and accessible to people so that they will live and understand
that we have to operate leading people from a place
of maturity and not just from healing
because why do I say maturity?
Maturity makes full bloom.
If you are a full bloom,
that means you are actually a flower.
If I said you are a bud, that means you haven't fully matured.
If I say full bloom, that means you have come to the full maturity
of what you were created for, which is a flower.
I was a bud leading.
And we can go on so much about that at some point I will,
but to stay in a topic, we have to address and make sure that
in the things that got us placed you into, in your assignments,
in life, that you are leading it through a culture
that can be transparent, that can be vulnerable,
and that has the mutual support because if these three things
are cultivating your community, then there is a genuine love
that is manifesting in through the relationships
and there is a true acceptance within our community of faith
happening and with that there is transformation.
And so you're never going to get a group of people
that have come fully matured.
If you do praise God, hallelujah, they went to all the trials
and tribulations and fires and they have submitted them to God
and this is great.
Let's work together.
But I have not seen yet anyone who said everyone came
and they came in full bloom.
I just haven't.
Maybe someone out there has a better testimony,
but I have not seen that.
So when we're addressing envy, jealousy, strife, and dispute
and division, the psychological perception of envy,
jealousy, and strife, dispute, division are toxic behaviors
that are stemming as we stated before, the insecurity,
that inadequacy, I don't value or see the value of myself.
These behaviors are not only harm relationships,
but they also contribute to toxic environment
within the community.
This is what I've stated before that you don't know
if you are unconscious, you're an acoma, you don't know.
You just don't know.
When I think about that, I think about how can you hold someone
accountable that isn't an acoma?
You can't.
You're an acoma.
Do you are not knowing?
One of the statements Jesus made, forgive them for they not know
what they're doing.
And if Jesus made that statement on the cross, then we should have the heart to say the same.
Forgive them for they do not know.
How do we know that they were conscious is when every pizza is self all over again?
Then we got another problem, another level of problem.
But in this level, it's a conscience, an unconscious state of the believer
that is not aware that they're operating in these things.
Okay, so the scriptural insight, James chapter 316,
it warns that where you have envy and selfish ambition,
there you will find disorder in every evil practice.
Instead, Galatians chapter 5 verse 22 and 23 encourages believers
to cultivate gentleness and self-control.
So let's look at another case.
This is the case study of bitterness over perceived injustice.
Here's a scenario.
There's a church member.
Let's call her Sarah.
She feels passed over by leadership position.
She believes she deserved.
But despite of the years of dedication and service to the church,
the leadership team chose someone else for the role.
Feeling overlooked and undervalued,
Sarah begins to harbor bitterness and resentment towards the leadership team.
And the person who received the position,
because it's not enough just to feel that way about the leadership,
I'm going also to feel that way about the person who got the position that I felt I was deserving of.
The dynamics is that Sarah's bitterness begins to fester.
And as she dwells on the perceived injustice and plays the situation over and over in her mind,
have you ever done that?
Huh?
Have you ever taken a situation where you didn't feel you had justice in
and played it over and over?
How about this?
Have you regurgitated it to people over and over?
Have you say, hey, John, did you believe what they did to me?
Hey, Maria, can you believe what they did to me?
Hey, such and such, can you believe what they did to me?
Because this right here is the manifestation of bitterness beginning to fester in your well.
The Bible says that out of our belly will flow the living waters.
And it says that the bitterness will have two good and bad.
And so in this moment, Sarah is beginning to allow bitterness to fester, infest her waters internally.
So she begins by increasing critical, critical judgments against the leadership,
questioning their motives and integrity.
Rather than dressing her feelings directly with the leadership team or seeking support from a fellow believer,
Sarah withdraws from church activity and relationships, isolating herself emotionally.
I got to tell you that I know people personally now in the workforce,
even that won't go to church because of a particular situation.
And in that particular situation, it caused the bitterness to infest their waters
and they became really critical of the leadership even questioning whether they were even called,
or they even from God.
And then begins to stop attending the church altogether, does have any fellowship with brothers and sisters.
Does anybody and says, I've just built myself a prayer room.
Oh, I just do it in my room.
And it's not the same.
The Bible in Hebrew says that not forsake the fellowship of the congregation.
So there has to be something that's causing you to do this.
And this is where it began.
It began where she did not go straight to the leadership to say, hey,
I thought or I believe or I was feeling whatever the case may be,
so that the bitterness will not grow, will not fester.
So out of not being, and this is what I say, you're not, you don't have the emotional intelligence
to be able to deal with your emotion, that's the reason you didn't go to leadership.
There was already things happening in Sarah's situation
that did not give her the maturity, the ability to go to leadership.
And instead she was immature and stayed in this immature state and allowed that immaturity
to cross more problems than it should have in her own life.
Because FYI, leadership doesn't know what's going on.
They have no idea because no one ever said anything.
Sarah never came to them.
Sarah just just, you know, was immature and said, I'm not going to go to them
for whatever reason because again, inadequacy, feeling the feeling that maybe they're not going to
listen to me, feeling that maybe I won't be heard, feeling that maybe it does not matter
what happens at the table, what matters is did you go?
Did you go to the table despite of fear?
Did you speak despite of fear?
Fear is the primary cause of a lot of this, you know, situations that happen.
People are, you know, they feel fear when they want to address something emotionally.
And I haven't found the root yet of what could be, maybe there's many roots, but
oftentimes people would rather go talk to someone else than talk to the person
that they should be addressing you with because of fear.
So, yeah, maybe we need to dialogue on that on another time, but the consequences of Sarah's fear,
you know, her bitterness not only affected her own well-being, but also it poisoned the atmosphere
within the community, her negative attitude and disengagement so seeds of discord and discontent
among other members who may begin to question the leadership's decision and motives.
The once vibrant and united community becomes divided with factions forming based on the loyalty
to either server or the leadership. And this is constant situation in our churches.
It is sad that we have to get to this place because we don't teach our people emotional intelligence.
We don't teach people how to be emotionally healthy. If I recommend anything, if you are in a church
or a lady one or a ministry, please, for the love of God, have a study on emotional, healthy,
emotional leadership. There actually is a pastor who teaches that who has created their whole
curriculum based on this, even healthy discipleship and just begin to go through it with your
community so that there can be this opening at the table despite of anything that's happening,
it would be at least done out of a place of maturity and healthiness so that these things can stop,
these situations can just stop gradually. But yeah, so the example of this illustration is how
banners can take root within our community. I mean, it happens in our own family life. If you have a
toxic family, imagine it's going to trickle into your community as a Christian. It will start to
bring division, gossip and even relational strife. Addressing bitterness requires humility. Notice
that all these things, the first door to any of the stuff is humility. It requires forgiveness,
this will always be found in every situation, but also listen to this, the willingness
to extend grace towards others, even when we feel wronged or overlooked,
confronting bitterness with love and reconciliation can foster the healing and unity within communities
of faith. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that when we come to the table that we are
confronting out of a place of humility, a place, our postured heart of forgiveness, and here a
postured heart of willing to extend grace. We have too many commercialized ads for the church today
that says that we do not have to foster any grace. If they're God, if they left, if this, if that,
oh God is the hands on it, stop. Because Jesus never did any of that.
Even when people left, you didn't see how Jesus would never have closed the door on them.
Repentance is there for people to repent and there's nothing we can do about it.
If somebody was a murderer and they murdered somebody, you didn't like who they murdered,
if they, if God got a hold of them and they chose to repent, there's nothing that you and I can
do about that. True repentance causes people to change. There is nothing that we can do about God
accepting someone else's repentance. Again, if we think we can control repentance,
we are operating out of a place of self-righteousness, not out of the place of love, of Christ's love
at that. It just, it just the information that is being spewed out into media about, you know,
how to address a toxic moment is ridiculous because it's misinformation. None of them are coming
out of the place of Christ. So why do I say that? Because if you look at how Christ addressed things,
I don't, I can't reflect the things that people are doing because Christ always left the door open
again for repentance and let them choose to repent with the true heart of repentance.
It's not our place to judge whether they truly repent it or not. It's our place to have a door
open for repentance. So how do we prevent the bitterness from taking root in our hearts? Well,
we're going to practice forgiveness as a deliberate choice. We have to deliberately choose to forgive.
Then we're going to release the resentment towards that toxic individual,
entrusting justice to God. See that, that's where it all goes back to God again. I am literally
considering to say I'm going to forgive you now. Here's the second part. I'm going to release my
resentment towards you and I'm going to entrust it to God to see fit on what he, what he needs to do
about the situation. And we're going to seek support from trusted friends, a mentor or a
counselor to process our emotion from this place and to gain perspective on the situation.
It's not a one way streak here. I just see what I see. That's all I see. Wow. Again, operating
on a place of self-righteousness because there's always a two-sided story and there's a God story.
And in any situation as a Christian, you should be seeking out God's story.
Because God will reveal to you things that happen in a person's life that will give you the
ability to release forgiveness, will give you the ability to release resentment. You would say to
yourself, that makes sense why they acted that way, God. They had all this stuff going on in their
life and I didn't see or even think to be mindful of that. So mind renewal is our next application.
We're going to shift our focus from dwelling on the offense to dwelling on God's goodness
and His faithfulness. We're going to meditate on scriptures like Ephesians 3, verse 31 and 32,
which instructs the believers to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander along with every form of malice, every form of shade and to be kind and
compassion to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you. You have to remember
that you are being forgiven every time you realize you did something that didn't please God.
We're all human. In a fallen world would a fallen nature. Our souls are fallen. Hence the reason why
you need to hold a ghost. So we have to be in constant conscious awareness that anyone can fall
short of the glory of God, period and our trust, our faith, our core foundation should be in God.
So when man tends to fall short of the glory, we're not as offended because we didn't put all
those things in them. We have our core in God. The second thing is impact on faith and well-being.
The psychological perception is this, the toxic behavior exhibited by fellow Christians can
wear down one's joy of salvation and faith in God's grace. Bitterness resulting from encounters of
toxic behavior can begin to overshadow the joy and the peace found in salvation, leading to spiritual
disillusionment, emotional distress. I have to say this. We have to be really cautious about what's in
our heart. I'm sorry to have to say this, but a lot of times people are still an unforgiveness and
this is what they're spewing out in their messages. A lot of the messages that are coming from believers
from with unforgiveness has a very heavy shade on it. What does that mean? It has a very form of
darkness in it and we want to teach people how to operate and dark this and teach them how to
operate in the light of Christ. You don't need help to know how to do life and dark. That's where you
came from. Before there was salvation. That's where you were. So if we begin to promote that, especially
in a time now where the church is in a real toxic place, pretty much because nothing was ever addressed.
Nothing was ever addressed and here we are talking to people on how to live in Christ and we're
implementing darkness into it and saying it's okay to do these things because God knows all things.
Yeah, God knows all things, but when we make that part of our message, we're not in Christ. We're in
ourselves. Your scriptural insight, Proverbs 14 30 acknowledges that a heart at peace gives life to
the body, but every rots the bones, maintaining joy of salvation despite of the external circumstances.
It's emphasized in Philippians chapter 4 or 4, which encourages believers to rejoice in the Lord
at all times. How are you going to maintain that joy of salvation in the midst of a community
as toxic? Number one, you're going to maintain a salvation by applying regularly reminding yourself,
the renewal of the mind of the death of God's love for you and the eternal hope found in salvation.
You're going to refocus your mind back to Christ. You're going to engage in spiritual practices,
such as your prayers, your prayer life, your worship life. You're going to do scripture reading,
strengthening your connection with God, nurture your spiritual resilience. You're going to renew that
mind by replacing negative thoughts and emotions triggered by toxic encounters with affirmations of
your identity in Christ. Meditate on the verses like Romans chapter 8 verse 38 and 39. It will remind you
that nothing can separate you from God's love. And that's something we have to remember that
that's not just a scripture for me. That's a scripture for anybody who is in God. That nothing
can separate them from the love of God no matter how far you think they are or how far out of
a reach they are. I'm sorry to break the news, but it is up to God to extend his love to them.
It is up to God to keep them. Not our job, not our place. And a lot of the things we're seeing today is,
it's a lot of Christians taking over of God's seat. We're not God. God is God. Hence the reason why we
needed Holy Spirit. And I think we have to emphasize more how Spirit wants to lead us than how our soul
wants to lead us. Now we're going to do the last one which is our last case for today. And it's how to
address false leadership in church. Let's look at the background. We have a local church community.
And there's been a growing concern among the members that the teachings and the actions of one church
leaders like Pastor James, for example, some of the members have noticed the inconsistencies between
Pastor James' teaching and biblical doctrine. While others have raised concern about his character
integrity, rumors began to spread that the church leadership team faces the challenge of addressing
these concerns in a minor consistent with biblical principles and pastoral care. Now understand that
and none of these cases are based on anyone, particularly these are actually found cases. So the
Scriptural Foundation says that in Matthew 7 verse 15 to 20, it says, "Watch out for the false
prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing. But inwardly, they are wolves. By their fruit,
you will recognize them. Boom. Stop right there. By their fruit, you will recognize them." Same thing
Jesus said. By their fruit, you would know that they remind. Do people pick grapes from
Thornbushes? Take some time to read that scripture over and really look at what it's saying. But the
application part is that the leadership team should evaluate Pastor James' teaching and actions in
the light of the biblical truth and discern whether they align with the fruit of the spirit as
in Galatians chapter 5 verse 22 and does it exhibit characteristics of the false teaching.
In this scenario, we're individuals from another church which took in front of false leadership
in a different church. There are additional considerations to keep in mind.
Number one, always approach with humility and respect. Individuals from another church should
approach the situation with humility, recognizing authority of the church that is in question.
They should seek to address their concerns in the spirit of love and genuine concern of the
well-being of the members, not for them to get some clout on the internet. Number two, seeking
accountability. If there are any concerns about false teaching and not the goal behavior, that could
potentially harm the Christian community. Individual may consider reaching out to a higher
governing body, maybe a denominational oversight that's in authority of that church.
The third thing is always have discernment and prayer before taking any public action
or making accusations. Individuals should engage in discernment and prayer,
taking God's guidance and wisdom and how best to address the situation.
And also carefully consider the potential consequences of their actions.
So make sure you strive to act in integrity and compassion.
As for the impact of the public discussion about the false leadership on social media,
it affects everyone, the whole world who are watching,
and it could produce a range of mental and emotional responses.
I can't emphasize enough how important it is for us to think before we act,
process before we do, and when we finally engage to make sure that what we are saying is
accurately correct when it comes to addressing false leadership.
Why? Because you affect people who watch. One, every leases confusion and doubt.
The public discussion about the false leadership can create confusion and doubt amongst the believers
who are unsure of whom to trust or what to believe anymore at this point.
They may even struggle to reconcile their even admiration for any type of leadership.
So we have to be careful what we're doing and how we're doing it because we're not just affecting
the people we're addressing but we're affecting people who are watching.
And number two, the disappointment, the disillusionment.
For those who have placed their trust in faith and a leadership in question,
public revelations of wrongdoing and false teaching can lead to feelings of disillusionment
and disappointment. They may feel portrayed in questioning their own beliefs and convictions.
Three, loss of trust. You know, the public exposure surrounding the false leadership can
erode trust, not only in individual leadership but also in a broader range of the institution of the
church. You talked about this earlier in the podcast. People may become cynical and skeptical of the
church leading them to lose confidence in the church. For a spiritual growth and renewal,
on the other hand, public discussions about false leadership can serve as a catalyst for spiritual
growth and renewal. It may prompt the individuals to reevaluate their own faith,
debing their commitment to follow Christ rather than placing their trust in human leadership.
And let's look at one last case in the area I know I said that would be the last but there is one more.
And this is where a local church community there was has been growing some tension and discord
from perceived accusations against one of the church leaders, Pasicera, and several members of
the congregation have expressed concerns about her leadership style suggesting that she may
be showing favoritism towards certain individuals and making decisions without consulting the
congregation. However, these accusations are based on his say she say speculation rather than a
concrete evidence. Proverbs 18 17 it says in the lawsuit the first to speak seems right until
someone comes forward and does a cross examination. The application for this is exactly what this verse
is stating. It is reminding us that the importance of the seek out the truth gathering all
information before forming judgments or making accusations. Preceived accusations should be
carefully examined and investigated before taking action. So again, from a psychological perspective,
setting healthy boundaries is crucial for protecting oneself from toxic behavior, preventing bitterness,
when taking root in our heart, but boundaries help individuals assert their independence,
maintain a well-being, and perfect further harm. Now, there's a whole thing going around about this
whole boundary thing and there was another video that came out and it was like hey, since when
did Christ say we lay down our boundaries, he said we lay down our life. And I would love to do a
whole another intake on that kind of dialogue on that statement a little further, but you know,
boundaries are set to tell people when you're available in access point. That's an access point.
Here is when you can assess with me. This is when you can come to my garden and there's a boundary for that.
But the boundaries that we're setting out in the majority of the messages is keeping people
out of your garden. And I just don't see how you're a minister of the gospel where you are saying
you can't come in. So we will address that further at some point in another podcast, but right now
let's just wrap this up with the scriptural insight of Proverbs 25, 28 were warns that like a city whose
walls are broken, there was a person who lacked self-control. Jesus, example, setting boundaries with
the Pharisees in Matthew 23 demonstrates the importance of asserting boundaries while still showing
love and compassion. It's right there in scripture. Extending forgiveness is an essential for releasing
bitterness and resentment towards toxic individuals and pervoting emotional healing. Letting go of grudges
extending forgiveness needs to inner peace restoration and freedom from the toxic cycle of resentment.
Colleges 313 will always urge us to forgive us to forgive us the Lord forgave you.
Enthusizing the transformation power of forgiveness in restoring relationships and healing wounds.
How do we adopt the culture of grace and transparency within our communities? We're going to lead by
example, that's your first application, demonstrating grace, humility, transparency in your own
interactions with you with others, listening actively, not listening to be right, but listening
to active listening is an act of listening to seek understanding the perceptions from different
views and then extending that empathy and compassion towards those who may be struggling in
toxic behavior. You know renewing your mind by you know transforming your mindset from a judgmental
cynical attitude towards one of grace and understanding and that's the problem right here that we are
trying to get the body of Christ through renew them sozin renewing yourself from a judgmental
and critical you know one that's always criticizing attitude to one of grace and understanding.
You know renewing our mind daily through prayer you know scriptures you know collagens 13 12 14
and encourages believers to hold yourself or compassion kindness humility gentleness and patience
and to forgive as a Lord forgave you. So I hope that this podcast has helped a few of us today
to comment to a not a mindset of renewal of grace and understanding and not
critical and judgmental. Thank you for tuning in into our podcast Godura crossing be sure to
subscribe for more upcoming episodes where we are intersecting faith culture and even sometimes
psychology until the next time may you walk in the grace and the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ.
(upbeat music)