Your grief also includes other people,
and sometimes it includes mourning our relationships
with the people closest to us,
I'm thinking friends, family, co-workers, neighbors.
The people you thought would show up for you
after a loss disappear.
The people you assumed would get it
and understand what you're going through, don't.
Conversations, get awkward, invitations,
to spend time together, stop coming.
Text messages are left on red.
Grief never, ever, ever happens in a vacuum.
It is never just you who is impacted by loss.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi there, grief growers.
I am so honored and delighted to be here with you as always.
If you have been growing alongside me for a while,
welcome back.
If you are new to me and my work, hello.
My name is Shelby for Sitia.
I am a grief coach, two times soon to be three-time author,
and the founder of Life After Loss Academy.
And I have had the honor of helping thousands
of grieving people stop feeling lost, stuck, trapped,
and overwhelmed, and start building lives
that they truly love from the lives that
lost force them to live.
This, of course, not only includes death-related losses,
but also losses like divorce and breakup,
major diagnosis, geographic move,
and any other major transformation that changes your life.
Here on grief grower, we believe that grief is not something
to get over.
It is something that we grow with and alongside.
And that when we stop treating grief less
like a problem to be solved and more like a doorway
or an invitation to live more deeply,
we create meaningful lives that are rich with the memories
that we carry, the struggles that we face,
the people that we've known, and the precious awareness
of what it is to be right here right now.
Two things at the top of the show,
because I just love when convergences and happenstances
occur in the world.
Number one, on today's episode, we are continuing our tour
to France of Life After Loss Academy,
which is my online course in community for grieving people.
We are up to module four, which is the established module
in my five-part grief framework, G-R-I-E-F.
We are at the established module.
Number four, next week we're going to do the foster module.
This is all about establishing grief-honoring
relationships with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors,
and anybody else who is adjacent to you in your grief.
And also, yesterday, July 30th, number two,
was International Day of Friendship.
And so this is a day that a lot of grievers,
if you see people posting about this on social media
or talking about it in your circles,
or even if you see like a greeting card about it
in a local grocery store, it can be something
that is very activating for grievers to see
because in addition to experiencing a major loss,
many grieving people, myself, included grief friendships
that become awkward or strained or end
as a result of grief storming through your life.
So today, I want to talk about the grief of losing friendships
and just friendship grief as a topic in general
and how you can navigate it in your life after loss.
And these are just some of the tools I'm like surface level
covering, some of the tools I teach inside Life After Loss
Academy and as always, by the end of the episode,
I will share more about how you can join the course
and really do a deep dive into learning these frameworks
for moving through life after loss
and forming relationships with the people in your life
who you want to support you better
and figuring out how do I end relationships with people
who have shown me that they are committed
to misunderstanding or disregarding or ignoring my grief.
But before we get into that, the thing I have to say
is that when society talks about grief
and this is something that just like,
you know what grinds my gears,
when society talks about grief, it's focus
for better and for worse is usually on you,
the person who lost someone or something.
Support resources, grief groups, materials, books,
podcasts, things of that nature are all about how you
as an individual person who has faced a devastating loss
are going to cope and eventually move forward.
But what a lot of grief resources leave out
and what absolutely just flattens so many of my clients
and students is that your grief also includes other people.
We are all part of a larger constellation of connections
and networks to get all linked in about it.
Sometimes grief includes the people closest to us
and sometimes it includes mourning our relationships
with the people closest to us.
I'm thinking friends, family, co-workers, neighbors.
The people you thought would show up for you
after a loss disappear.
The people you assumed would get it
and understand what you're going through don't.
Conversations get awkward, invitations
to spend time together, stop coming.
Text messages are left on red.
Society and even sometimes the world of grief support,
which is very grief literate,
often forget one crucial fact of life after a loss
and that is that grief never, ever, ever happens in a vacuum.
It is never just you who is impacted by loss.
It is you and then by way of ripple effect
everyone else in your orbit.
And so in your coping, in your processing,
in your coming back to life after loss,
the influence of the people around you plays a major role
and the loss of friendships around you
can also be a major part of the storyline of you
returning to life after loss.
Every single grieving person on planet Earth
is surrounded by statistically,
at least three to nine people who are meaningfully
or significantly close to them.
Again, friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, et cetera.
Some of these people are incredibly supportive and helpful
and some of them sadly are not
or do not know how to be.
So for countless grievers at any given moment,
we not only experience a big earth-shattering loss,
what a lot of grief resources might call a primary loss,
putting air quotes around that.
We also experience a secondary loss,
to kind of a loss after the loss or a loss
as a result of the loss, a secondary loss of friendships.
And this is a kind of grief that no one prepares you for,
but it is real.
And on the heels of International Day of Friendship,
again, it was yesterday, we need and deserve to talk about it.
So on today's show, I'm gonna define what is friendship grief,
share why the heck does it hurt so much,
and help you understand what you as a grieving person
with understandably very limited time and energy
can do to process and move through it.
So let's start with what is friendship grief?
This is a very simple, just like one sentence definition.
Friendship grief is the type of mourning that happens
when your social circle shrinks.
Try saying that five times fast.
When your social circle shrinks, (laughs)
in the wake of a major loss.
And friendship loss can be slow and subtle,
like a friend who kind of drifts away
or stops responding or doesn't come to visit as often
over time, or can be very sudden and jarring,
like a family member just ghosting you
after a diagnosis or a divorce or another major loss.
And whether the loss of this friend is loud or quiet,
abrupt or drawn out, the loss of a friendship
can leave you with lots of questions.
What did I do to deserve this?
Why couldn't they be there for me?
Did my loss somehow make me too sad, too broken,
or too needy to continue to be in relationship with them?
And then this is one that definitely came up for me
after my mother's death is everyone in my circle
eventually going to leave.
Friendship loss and friendship grief
are not talked about enough and yet,
they are one of the most common and painful parts
of grieving.
I wanna get into next like why we lose friends after loss.
Like why are our friends so bad?
At grief support, why don't people know how to support us?
But what I wanna start with is that regardless of whether
or not you want it to, grief changes you.
It is out of your control whether you are changed by loss.
You will definitely be changed by whatever loss you have faced.
In previous episodes of Greek where we talk about how
loss events are kind of like a doorway you are pushed through
and you can't get back across that threshold again.
That door or that life before is now closed off to you.
And so now this grieving version of yourself
with its shifting identities and emotional needs
and new grief informed worldview you are now wearing
grief glasses, you see everything now through the lens of loss.
This like really earthquakes and shakes
your closest relationships.
Simply put, grief changes permanently your rules
of engagement with others.
But that does not mean and I wanna make this crystal clear
that the loss of a friendship is your fault.
The truth is that most people, our supporters,
friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors
have no freaking idea how to show up for someone who's grieving.
It is not something that's taught in our society
which is a tragedy in and of itself.
And a lot of people are not interested in doing
the independent study that it takes to companion
a grieving person through loss.
This is why I have written my third book.
Of course I'm here right now.
They are three phrases anyone can say to support
someone who is grieving in their midst,
even if that someone is you comforting yourself.
But a lot of times instead of doing that sort
of independent study or learning how to be present
with your pain, our friends, family members, coworkers,
neighbors fall into unhelpful roles or cliche scripts
or behaviors that cause us harm even if they mean well.
One of my favorite quotes is that intention
does not equal impact.
You can approach a grieving person
with the best of intentions.
I just want to make them feel better.
I just want to show them how much my heart is breaking.
I just want to help them understand that time heals all
or where they are right now is it where they're going to be
forever.
But if the impact to that griever is cliche,
insult, pain, dismissal, judgment, misunderstanding,
that is the thing that matters.
An in-life after-loss academy,
I have sort of categorized these most frequent
harmful behaviors into what I call the 11 toxic grief tropes.
And once you start to notice them in the world,
they become painfully obvious.
I'm not going to give you all 11 on the show.
I really want you to join life after-loss academy
to get this whole tool.
But I'll give you the top three.
Number one, the rose colored reframar is a toxic grief trope.
This is the friend who insists on trying to cheer you up
when what you really need is to be heard.
They say things like,
at least they're in a better place
or it's good they didn't suffer.
Or you should try to focus on the positive.
They are being like silver linings people
and they are often people who rush to make meaning
from your loss and give it to you before you are ready
to make meaning from your loss.
A second example of a toxic grief trope is the awkward avoider.
This is a person who changes the subject
every time you mention your grief.
They keep every conversation with you light and fluffy
and small-talky.
They will talk about the weather or celebrity gossip
or the sports that were on last night
and they avoid talking about pain or even acknowledging
that it exists in the room like it's contagious,
like they may catch it as well.
And number three, an example of a toxic grief trope
is the judgmental jerk.
And this is a person who criticizes you for grieving.
They will say things like,
you still aren't over it yet?
Or you need to get over it and move on.
Or, oh my God, I can't believe it's been six months,
six years already and you're still
this sad.
They are often people who see grief as time limited
and as a sign that if you're still grieving,
you're stuck in the past
and they feel a certain judgmental way about that.
So that's just three examples of the 11 toxic grief tropes.
If you wanna read the other eight
and see if they apply in your life,
I encourage you to join us in life after a loss academy.
I will say these behaviors,
these like toxic responses to grief,
though not always malicious, they may be well-intentioned,
although sometimes it's very hard to understand how,
they can leave you feeling erased or silenced
or completely alone in your grief.
And that is not what I want for you.
That is not my wish for you.
And yet it is a reality that so many grieving people
around the world facing all kinds of losses,
death, divorce, diagnosis, and more
are facing every single day.
So let's talk about why friendship loss hurts so much.
Like, why is this such a big deal?
Why is it important to talk about it?
The first thing I wanna say is that losing your friendships
after a loss can feel like yet another thing to grief.
You are already mourning a doorway you have been shoved through,
usually against your will,
and a life before you can no longer go back to or access.
The death of a loved one, a major diagnosis,
a breakup that has rocked your world.
You have experienced something
literally that has changed your life.
And the loss of a friendship can be another life-changing loss.
It changes your orientation to the world.
And you might grieve the shared history
that you thought would carry you through anything,
especially if you've been friends for years or decades.
You might grieve the expectation you had
of who would hold your hand through the hard parts of life.
Many of us have visions of who was gonna be there
in the hospital room with us
or who's gonna be there at the memorial beside us
or who's gonna be handing us tissues
as we mourn our breakup.
And for those people to not be present
or to be present in painful ways
is something that we grieve.
And you might also grieve the certainty
that your friends or family members
or neighbors or coworkers would never abandon you
when it comes to grief.
Friendship loss after death divorce diagnosis
or any other major life transition
is especially devastating by and large
because it steals your sense of safety in the world.
And in grief, feeling safe or stable
in a world that is crumbling all around you
is a crucial step in being able to heal.
And if you wanna listen to more on feeling safe
in the world after loss, you can go back to episode,
I believe it's 17 of Greek War,
where we talk about the ground module
in life after loss academy
and how practicing safety as a skill
is one of the most important things you can do
in life after loss.
That's interesting to you, go back and listen to that.
When your closest friends and family members become
unpredictable, harmful, dismissive, absent,
it reinforces the feeling that grief has changed
everything about your life and not for the better.
It also leaves you feeling alone
and maybe telling the story that something is wrong with you
for as one of my clients in life after loss academy
put it, quote, "Driving others away with my grief."
So if this is you and you're like,
yes, my friendships have gotten weirder, rockier,
judgmental, painful, dismissive after loss
and I wanna know what to do about it.
This is your framework for moving through that experience.
This is how to negotiate friendships after loss.
If there's any good news to be had here
when it comes to grieving friendships,
is that friendship and relationship after loss
does not have to be all or nothing.
Sometimes you can repair or recalibrate
a relationship in progress.
You already have a friend, you already have a family member,
you already have a neighbor, it gets weird for a while
and then you can kind of like set a boundary
or make a request and get things back on track.
So here is a framework for how to get clear on what you need
and how to ask for it.
And this is something that in the aftermath of loss
gives you a bit of like your power in agency back.
And once again, just like the 11 toxic grief trips,
this framework, this five part tool
is something I teach in greater depth
inside life after loss academy.
So if you would like my help,
working through your unique friendship or family relationship
that is strained or dismissive or disappearing
or judgmental or awkward or competitive,
people are trying to like one up your grief.
I would love to see you inside the course and community
and I can help you work on this one on one.
Okay, the first thing you're gonna do,
before you start thinking about who is abandoned you,
who has said some shitty things,
who is hitting you with cliches from all sides,
who starts crying when you tell your lost story,
so suddenly the focus comes off you and onto them.
And so you have to take care of them,
even though you're the one who's grieving.
Before getting into who has wounded you in grief,
I want you to identify your grief allies.
Before repairing or recalibrating relationships
that currently hurt, make a list of people
who are showing up for you right now.
These are what I call your green light people,
your grief allies, and remember grief allies
are not necessarily people who always have
the perfect words to say, they are people
who are present and consistent and emotionally safe,
consistently, again, that word is very important,
to share your loss with.
You might look for people who ask how you're really doing
and then listen, who do not flinch
when you talk about your grief or changes subject,
who remember significant grief dates and season
and reach out without reminding.
They might be people if you've lost a loved one
who say their name out loud,
especially when it seems like the rest of the world
has gone back to normal.
They may also be people who offer support
without fixing or comparing or judging.
And they are also people who keep checking in,
even after time has passed.
They hold you and your grief as equal things
in their mind forever.
And that is so significant and so important.
And the asterisk I want to put on that
is if your list of grief allies is small, that's okay.
Especially in the early days of grief,
depth matters a lot more and emotional safety matters
a lot more than quantity.
So first things first, make a list
of your green light people and/or your grief allies,
whichever phrasing you'd like to prefer.
Okay, number two, spot the toxic grief tropes in your life.
Next I want you to get honest about
which friendships are hurting you.
Make a list of yellow light people,
so these are people who feel supportive some of the time.
Analyst of red light people who are rarely
or never supportive of your grief.
Then using the list of the 11 toxic grief tropes
which you can find in "Side Life After Loss Academy"
or just your own observations,
you can notice the behaviors that they're doing
that feel harmful to you.
For instance, do they minimize your grief
with at least statements?
At least they didn't suffer.
At least you got time with them at the end.
Blah, blah, blah.
Do they hijack your grief story with their own?
Do they constantly do suffering the Olympics
and compare their loss to yours?
Do they judge how you're grieving or for how long?
Or do they avoid you altogether?
Giving these behaviors a specific name.
Those two things.
One, it can help you see where patterns are.
One of my students in "Life After Loss Academy"
is like, "Oh, I've noticed a lot of the red light
and yellow light people in my life
are rose colored reef framers.
I seem to really hate it
when people try to cheer me up in grief."
That's something worth noticing.
I don't mind as much when people tell their own stories
of loss, obnoxious one uppers,
people who are playing with suffering Olympics,
not bothering me so much,
but people who try to make me happy right now
or cheerlead me out of my pain,
not interested in that.
And so those are the things that she chose to address
in her relationships.
And the second wonderful thing about naming the behaviors
that are hurting you in relationships,
and not just saying that person isn't supportive,
but answering the question, why?
Is that you can separate the pain you're feeling
from the friend who's doing the behavior
and see it for what it is or for who they are.
This is a person with a lack of grief literacy
and not a reflection of your worth
or your value as a friend.
And that is very important when you're grieving
because it is so easy to tell the story
that grief has broken you and made you a bad friend
in the aftermath of loss.
Oh my God, I get chills talking about this
because it is so true and so many grieving students
and clients have brought that exact sentence to me
is I fear that grief has made me broken
in the eyes of other people and that is simply not true.
Okay, coming down from my soapbox.
Number three, after you have identified your grief allies
and also identified your yellow and red light people
where the toxic grief tropes live in your life,
the third thing I want you to do is set a boundary
and make a plan.
So if a relationship with a yellow light person
or a red light person feels like it's worth salvaging
and only you can decide that,
you can try setting a boundary
or making a direct request of them.
So for instance, if somebody in my life is an awkward a voter,
this is a script I might use for them.
When you avoid my grief, it makes me feel like
I can't talk about my loss with you.
I know it can be hard to know what to say to me right now,
but what I need most is someone who can be with me,
even if I am messy or even if the long silences
are uncomfortable.
In this season, I do not need distractions or solutions.
I need to know that you're here for me.
So instead of avoiding talking about my loss,
insert your loss here,
could you ask how I'm doing once a week
and really listen to my answer?
That would feel so helpful to me.
So this is like a boundary setting statement
of like I don't like when you do this,
but it's also a request, can we do this instead?
It would feel really helpful to me.
And before you send this, whether it's a text message
or you're making a phone call or sending an email
or having an in-person conversation,
I want you to make a three-part action plan.
And I know this is a fair bit of work.
So acknowledging how much energy it takes
to set boundaries with people as you are grieving,
take care of yourself.
I want you to make a plan for three situations.
One, what are you gonna do if they respond well?
Amazing, respond by thanking them.
Let them know how much it means for them to see you
or for shifting their behavior.
Two, if they respond poorly, potentially acknowledge
the outcome or acknowledge what they said to you
and take some space from the relationship.
So you might say something like,
I can't keep talking to you if I don't feel heard.
And this loss is an important and permanent part
of my life now.
I'm gonna take some distance from our relationship.
And finally, if they don't respond at all,
try approaching them again at another time
and check to make sure they actually got your first message.
So especially for text message and email,
things can be weird.
Glitches can happen.
Mercury can be in retrograde.
And for some reason, they don't receive your message.
If after a second time, they continue to avoid
talking about your grief or they go silent,
sadly, there's your answer.
They cannot be a supportive friend to you in grief.
So your next step is to return to the release module,
episode 18 of Grief Grower.
More in the friendship, release that thing
that can no longer be, that loss in some part
took away from you and redirect your energy
towards relationships that can actually hold space
for who you are as you are now.
That was a big one.
Number four, return to yourself.
And this is basically just like, how are you
going to take care of you during this whole process?
Because the grief of losing friends can leave you emotionally
depleted.
So throughout this process, and as you kind of weigh
which relationships you want to spend time trying
to repair, make space and time to recharge
with things that tend your body, mind, heart, and spirit.
So this might look like writing letters
to your lost friend or friendship, even if you never send them.
This might look like meditation or breath work
or chanting or singing, one of my personal favorites,
especially singing in the shower.
This might look like taking time offline away from social media.
I don't want to see your life right now.
We're not in good terms.
This might also help you detox, first
much as that word is overused, but just like step away
from pictures of other people's perfect friendships.
You might move your body in ways that feel nourishing to you.
Or as one of my students in life after loss,
academy often does when she's stressed and overwhelmed,
visit a beautiful place in nature.
After you have done all of this,
the last thing I want you to do
when thinking about friendship loss is to,
if you have the energy and capacity, look towards the future,
create new rules of engagement for future relationships.
As I mentioned before, loss changes you,
then that means your friendship criteria
of what it takes to be your friend.
You must be this tall to ride, might need to change as well.
So consider asking yourself or writing this down
and coming back to it later,
what do I need now that I didn't need before my loss?
This could be emotional safety,
permission and time to recharge,
zero expectation of coming to every live music event
that I get invited to, you get to decide,
what do I need now that I didn't need before my loss?
And this can be based on what you're feeling in the moment,
but also on observation of like things maybe
that you want more of in this season,
or things that you're no longer capable of,
that you don't want the expectation to do.
Again, loss changes who you are
and the identities of who you used to be,
who are you now and what you need in a relationship?
Next question, what type of emotional safety do I require
in a relationship and what does that look like in practice?
I can say emotional safety all day until the cows come home,
but what does that mean to you?
For a lot of people, it's just the ability
to sit side by side without talking.
Like the pressure to not have to talk,
to like have something to say,
whether it's insightful or funny or interesting
or about current events,
that is such a blessing to grieving people's like,
just sit with me.
That's emotionally safe.
Or to talk about things you fear most,
or hard decisions that you have to make,
or to mention your loved one's name
and to actually have someone care about it and listen.
That is many, many examples of emotional safety
and a relationship.
Another question worth asking yourself
is what am I no longer available for?
What do I not have the bandwidth to tolerate?
And this might be passive aggressive behavior,
pettingness, people who are wishy-washing
can't be direct with you.
You might go back to the toxic grief tropes
and list toxic grief tropes of things
that you won't tolerate, rose-colored reef framers,
judgmental jerks, awkward avoiders.
I will not be tolerating this in relationship anymore.
And finally, what makes me feel the most seen,
heard, loved, and valued in a relationship?
And this may be the same as your life before loss,
or it might be additions to that.
There might be more that goes along with this.
This could be honoring grief days.
This could be spending quality time together
instead of like doing big vacations or things like that.
This could be, again, saying your person's name,
if you lost a loved one to death,
it could just be holding space through emotions,
committing to weekly or monthly check-ins.
Like, what is it that makes you feel seen
and heard and loved and valued?
And how can you scan for that
in all of your possible future relationships?
What I want to remind you of
and what I need you to take away from this episode
is that while you may be losing friends after loss,
what you do have is the power to decide
what friendship means to you now
in this new, griefy version of your life,
even if it's not a version of your life
that you want to be living or chose to live.
You still, even if loss took away so much power from you
and so many relationships from you,
what you do have remaining,
the small amount of foundation underneath your feet,
the small amount of power that you wield
is to create updated agreements
with the people who want to be a part of your life
and who you want to be a part of your life.
And you're in control of who gets to enter
the sacred circle of your closest friends.
You may feel dear grief grower
that your heart is broken, but it is also precious.
So consider carefully who you want to have access to it.
Yesterday July 30th was International Day of Friendship
for many grieving people this day sucks.
(laughs)
Not because we don't value friendship,
but because we have learned through losing friendships,
what true friendship in grief really looks like.
It's not saying the perfect thing,
it is staying present when things get weird or sad or hard.
It is not pushing you to move on or get over it
or judging you for not being okay by now.
It is coming alongside you as you figure out
how to fold loss, how to integrate it into your life.
It's not disappearing after the funeral,
memorial breakup disaster diagnosis.
It is showing up weeks and months and even decades later.
Here's what I know you deserve in friendship after loss.
You deserve friends who welcome your loss as a part of you
and understand that grief is lifelong.
What I want for you and what you deserve
is people who do not analyze, criticize or fix you,
but sit beside and come alongside you.
What I know you deserve is relationships
that make space for the full spectrum of human emotions
and experiences, not just the happy stuff.
Some friendships survive grief, some evolve, some end.
And all of that is part of the reality of loss.
If you have lost friendships in the wake of grief,
you are not, are not, are not broken or unlovable.
You have become someone, you are being forced to become someone
by the sheer fact of loss as presence in your life
who can no longer tolerate shallow connection
or surface level support, heavy air quotes around support.
And that is okay.
In fact, I would argue that it is necessary,
as painful as it is to lose friends after loss.
If there's a gift to be found inside of this,
friendship grief clarifies who is capable of coming with you
into the future, who you need to release
from the title of friend,
and what you might like your friendships to feel like going forward.
That is all clear information that can be given to you after loss.
It is a difficult part of life after loss,
but negotiating your friendships and navigating
whom you are in relationship with on a day-to-day basis
is a part of grief that is worthy of your time
and you're tending to.
Lastly, if you're looking for a community to support you
as you free, negotiating relationships after loss,
please once again join us inside life after loss academy.
Inside, you will get the 11 toxic grief tropes list.
You will learn the other eight that are on the list
and you will also learn my five-step framework
for establishing boundaries with people whose behaviors
are harmful and hurtful to you in grief.
This is all in module four of the grief framework established.
You can learn more and become a student
at the link in the show notes for this episode.
I know this is hard shit.
I know this is one of the most heartbreaking parts
of life after loss and I know it often takes years
to reorient and recalibrate and resettle
into a new constellation of support in life after loss.
And what I do also want you to know
that you are not the only one who is feeling this way.
There are others who have walked this road before
and who know what it is to grieve the loss of friends
after yet another devastating loss
and you do not have to go alone from here.
There are people out there in the world.
Who have experienced losses themselves
or have been alongside loss enough times that they treasure.
Grief honoring friends.
And for as much as you are grieving people
you have lost who cannot be supporters to you.
There are just as many if not more people
who are looking for people like you to be friends with.
Your grief is not a sign of your brokenness as a friend.
It is a blessing to be friends with a griever
and I'm gonna stand by that.
I will stand by that.
(gentle music)
That's all for this episode of Grief Grower.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
If you're looking for grief support beyond this show
you can find free workshops, blog articles,
and my signature.
What's your grief support style quiz?
At shallbeforsitia.com/links.
And if you'd like to get support from me
for your unique loss experience
as you navigate friendship loss,
join us in life after loss academy,
the online course in community I've created.
As a student I will walk you through my five step
Grief framework for rebuilding after loss
and you can get live coaching from me
every single week to answer your questions.
Replace are always available if you can't attend live.
It's just $33 a month to join $22 a month
if you're marginalized or financially stressed griever
and you can cancel your membership in life
after loss academy at any time.
Now through August 31st you can try one month
of life after loss academy free with the code Grief Grower.
You can find a link in the show notes.
Grief Grower is hosted by me, shallbeforsitia,
and the theme music is composed by our own Eddie Goldstein.
Until next time, I see you.
I am so proud of you and the work
that you're doing in the world and I love you.
Because even through Grief, we are growing.
[Music]