Roy T. Bennett says that the past is a place of reference, not a place of resonance,
and the past is a place of learning, not a place of living.
Hey guys, welcome back to my channel at HoneyGrosWorld.com, or if you're listening on the podcast,
welcome back to HoneyGrosWorld podcast.
I promised when I was going to start doing podcasting again, that I would really get down
to the midi-gritty and really start talking about some of the things that I have discussions
on with people on a daily basis.
So I figured that this would be a great opportunity for me to go ahead and really discuss with
you guys some of the things that weigh on my mind and hopefully give you guys some of
the insight that I maybe can offer to you guys and motivate and inspire you to do other
things and be other things.
So if you're interested in hearing all about today's podcast episode, where we are going
to basically chit chat and talk story about how we can utilize our generational trauma
that we've experienced and use that to overcome some of the boundaries and be successful
in our futures, then definitely keep on watching, keep on listening, keep on all the things.
Hey guys, so welcome to the podcast today as I stated in the intro.
We're going to be discussing how we can overcome generational trauma and how we can use it
to propel ourselves towards all kinds of awesome shit.
So this is something that I'm speaking on with as much knowledge as I could say that I do
have, but also from experience.
So this is something that I definitely wanted to go ahead and share with all of you and
yeah.
You know, sometimes we don't understand that the weight of our generational trauma can
actually cast a long shadow of deep dark crap over our journey towards success.
And we really don't think about that.
We really don't realize that some of the things that we essentially had to deal with, whether
it was growing up, whether it was relationship trauma, whatever it may be.
It really affects us in our everyday life.
The legacy of pain that has been passed down through generations, through ages, they all
can really manifest all kinds of negative self-talk, mental health struggles, self-destructive
patterns.
Everything you can think of, it essentially has a lot to do with that generational pain
essentially that we deal with.
And yet in the face of all of this burn-in, we can take and harness all of that and take
that pain and propel ourselves to use it towards amazing greatness.
So I'm hoping that we can talk about that a little bit and I can share some of my pain
that I've dealt with and kind of just release some of that for you guys in this first episode
of this year's 2024 podcast.
Again, like I said, I'm making some changes and I'm excited to share them with you.
So let's talk about this for a minute here.
In order to overcome generational trauma, we must first acknowledge that we have it and
to understand where the roots of it come from.
This requires a lot of deep reflection on everything from our family history to not
even just the history, even things that are taking place right now that we're dealing
with right now.
And we have to take that time to really go and understand the roots of all of those things
to see how we can work through all of that.
And once you are able to really get that deep reflection on your family history and then
identify the ways in which this trauma has impacted us or impacted you for, you know, for
such, then you are able to do a number of different things.
You can see therapy, you can look for support, you can basically take the valuable tools through
everything that you are getting, whatever help you can to help use them to progress in your
journey of self-discovery.
And sometimes we just don't even realize it.
Like, I talk about this now because my whole life, and when I say my whole life, I mean
literally my whole life, people have said, well, you know, you're stuck in that realm of
watching, watching, such and such because you can't get past that generational trauma.
It's not necessarily that they were telling it to me, but more so that they were explaining
it about themselves and/or they were looking for an outlet to be able to discuss.
And I have, everybody has had their own generational type trauma.
It could be something as small as being judged for the way you look.
It could be something as small as judged for your type of hair or something along those
lines, all the way to very large things, the color of your skin, your gender, what you,
you know, recognize yourself as.
And the reason why I really wanted to use this as my first podcast episode was because I
wanted to really touch base on some of these things.
And I've been thinking about this stuff long and hard.
I'm really lucky in that I wholeheartedly am a believer that I'm going to take my trauma.
I'm going to take the problems that I have.
I'm going to take all of this crap and I'm going to use it as my driving force.
I teach my sons and other people that for a really long time I took how I was feeling
and basically use that to prove people wrong.
If, say for example someone said, "Oh, you can't do this."
I literally strived to accomplish those things to prove them wrong.
And oftentimes when people judge you according to what they "think."
It's either something they've seen and so therefore they feel like they can judge you
or it's something that they've seen in your past or your family demographic or all of
those things that they in turn turn around and try to use against you and in turn create
that.
Generational trauma is much more than just you were maybe abused or experienced domestic
violence or your family grew up poor.
All these different types of things, alcoholism, drug abuse, all those things are all generational
trauma if it's something you experience growing up or something along those lines but it's
not just that.
It can be everything from your self-image and how you look at yourself or how you view
other people.
How you, a lot of introverts tend to have experienced some form of generational trauma which in turn
may have brought them down and I ain't got no PhD or any of those things.
This is just my own experience of some of the things that I had gone through and that's
why I wanted to go and share it with you.
Once we understand the roots of our trauma, we can reframe it as a source of motivation
which essentially is how I do it.
You're telling me I can't do something?
Hold up.
Let me prove you otherwise.
I strive for that.
I use the motivation or the motivation that I have is from past experiences where they're
positive or negative, good or bad.
That is how I rephrase that.
And once we recognize the strength and resilience that we have been past, you know, have
received and it's been passed down to us because there are people like that in our lives that
motivate us like that, usually in a positive way as well as the negative, we're able to channel
that down towards our goals, towards our successes.
You can embrace our unique perspectives and experiences while essentially harnessing
that power and moving towards where our success needs to be.
It might seem like it's something very difficult especially if it's not something you've done
before but realistically we don't understand right off the top of our head that it is natural
for us to have some form of competitive streak.
Unless of course we are a passive person which there are people like that out there but
sometimes if we reframe our thinking and our mindset, we are able to push past all of
that.
And I'm 44 now it's taking me a long time to realize that I can use that and harness all
of that funky from everybody else, all that trauma that I experienced from back in a day
and literally use it to my advantage.
I grew up as the kid with extremely curly hair like my father.
My skin was darker because I was a beach baby.
I loved to go in the ocean, I loved to spend time in the beach but I was darker skinned.
And till this day no matter where I travel people think that I'm part African American.
Still going to be wrong, I have no problem being told those things but that is not my
lineage, I am not of that descent or ethnicity.
But I had to reframe my thinking, my mind to tell myself it's not okay and that's not how
it needs to be.
And again as I travel I don't mind that people ask me if that's if I am African American,
if I am black.
It really truly doesn't bother me and I explain to them no I'm not.
The curly hair or that kind of stuff but growing up it was hard.
I literally was called that and then some by people who were family members that knew
that I was not that ethnicity and it was difficult and it was something that I had a really
hard time moving past.
So I started working to not force those feelings aside but use it as a driving force.
People would say things like oh you grew up poor and therefore you will never make it
and you will never make anything of yourself.
You're just going to be a you're going to grow into an adult and you're going to live in
low income housing and you're going to do all these things.
I have nothing wrong with people that do that but it literally was something that was
just drilled drilled drilled into me consistently and I got to a point in my life where I basically
was like forget you I got this and let me show you how.
So with that being said and having to deal with all of those things I wanted to share a few
tips on how you can use your past experiences to overcome your current situation, your future
situation, whatever it may be.
Number one essentially is first to reflect on your past experiences and identify different
strategies that worked for you and those that didn't.
It seems like such a small little thing to be able to do that but those little things
really helped you guide you.
You're essentially looking at everything that you had gone through and what kinds of things
could you continue to do versus things that you need to let go.
And once you do that you want to use your past mistakes as learning opportunities.
That's very important because if we do not learn from our past we cannot keep ourself from
repeating that trauma again.
So that is an extremely important thing to think about as well.
Third, you want to build resilience by using your past experiences as a reminder of your
strength and resilience.
I know I use resilience twice but there's something you really want to think about.
Again, I use that as my driving force to look, "Hey look, I've been through this.
I got this far and therefore I can push past all of that without any issue and this is
how I'm going to do it."
Fourth, you want to stay positive and avoid dwelling on all that negative experiences that
you have from your past.
If people show ask me, "Well, what about this, this, this, or that?"
And you went through all of this, "Yeah, of course I did."
Does that mean that I'm going to leave it to hinder how I think moving forward?
Is it going to therefore determine how I'm going to move forward?
Well, I might strive past it but I'm not going to sit there and dwell over it because it can
really bring you down and then therefore you're unable to move past it.
And finally, you want to seek support from loved ones, professionals alike, friends.
If you are definitely struggling to overcome any of your current situation, it's easier
than you think to talk to someone that you trust, then to leave it all bottled up and just
sucking into all of the things that makes it extremely difficult for you to get past.
Dan Rockwell says that the only way to change the past is to stop letting it shape your
future.
It is a great way for you to look at your past again as form of motivation and inspiration
but don't take all of that and bring it into the future which in turn will really push
you down and pull you back.
If you are not able to use that as a driving force, you're going to be stuck essentially
in an entire situation where you're redoing everything all over again.
And you don't want to do that.
So that is my thought process with that.
Everybody has generational trauma.
You may look at something and may think that it's not that big of a deal but how does it
affect you later on in the future when you're having to deal with something else.
I think about little things and stuff like that and I grew up with little to no money and
that in itself is generational trauma.
So I made sure that as I was having my children when I got married and I was having my children
that I didn't want to reflect all of that on my kids.
I didn't want to take that in so that they would in turn experience the same issues, traumatic
experiences that I did.
Whether you consider it shielding for them or what have you, I made sure to adjust and
shift my future so that it wouldn't be much of a problem.
The same way it was for me.
I also make sure that I remind my children that what I experienced in the past is my past
that worked through something else.
If you are going through this, let's try to make other things work and believe it or not,
it works much more than you shutting down and repeating that cycle over and over again.
It...
Trust when I say they're going to be much more podcast and I have a whole lot more to talk
about but when I think about certain things, those are the things I think about.
I utilize everything that's happened in my past to push me and launch me in a different
direction so that I can be successful or at the very most least, however you want to call
it, happy and everything that I am.
Life throws us curveballs.
We don't need to be bringing our past into all of that so that it therefore reduces our
happiness, right?
I mean, that's just my thought process.
In conclusion to today's podcast, I just wanted to tell you guys that by acknowledging and
understanding your generational trauma, my generation trauma, our generational trauma,
we can use it as a source of motivation to move towards whatever it may be, our life,
happiness, success in whatever degree that you want it in whatever, you know, motion
you want it to be.
I truly hope that at least some of these tips and this short podcast episode will help
you on your journey towards overcoming that generational trauma and building a brighter future free
from these dark, deep shadows of our past.
It's so important that we realize that we are living now and yes, we definitely need
to take some of that trauma that we had from our past and make sure that we don't make
the same mistakes, but at the same time, we also need to make sure that those,
traumas do not hinder where we're going and what we're going to do, which in turn will
make it more difficult for us in the long run.
We had to think we're passing this stuff down to our kids later.
You know, how is it going to be our future little people, our future selves that are essentially
dealing with that?
So that's today's episode.
I think this has been one 10, 15 minutes, maybe longer.
I definitely want to do more podcast episodes with you guys touching based on a few things,
but as I came into 2024 this year, and like I said, I just celebrated a birthday.
I wanted to make sure that I touched based on a few things and this has been kind of on
my podcast list/youtube for quite a while knowing that I wanted to go ahead and really talk
about some of these things and share some things.
And if you guys want to be a part of the Honey Girls World podcast, then definitely, you know,
comment down below or send me a message and let me know if you have something you want to
share and you want to be a part of it.
Otherwise, I want to thank you guys so much for joining me for all the things, for being
a part of all the things.
And for just following me on this journey.
It's been saying to me a long time to get to this position in my life now where I'm feeling
that I might be able to release and talk about a little bit more information from my past.
I've discussed a lot, but there's a lot.
Everybody's got a story and trust.
Mine is not any less than anyone else's.
So little by little, I might be sharing some things with you guys.
I want to thank you guys so much for joining.
If you are listening on the podcast version, you can find me on Apple iTunes or Apple iTunes.
You can find me on Google Podcast, which is going to be eliminated within the next month
or two.
So then you have to go and look for it on YouTube Podcast, which you probably are watching
here if you're watching the video.
And then you can also find me on Spotify and other podcasts listening places that you can
listen to if you're here on YouTube.
Hey guys, comment down below and say what's up.
And please feel free to leave me any topics that you want me to touch based on as well.
I want to thank you guys so much for joining me.
Like I said, go ahead and follow, subscribe, like, notify, all the things.
And I'll see you guys in my next one.
Have a great one, guys.
Be safe, be smart, and go kick some ass.
Bye.