[MUSIC]
The simplest thing I can say about how to manage fear is to believe and accept that the threat that you feel from fear,
at least that initial response needs to be challenged.
Welcome to the Executive Connect podcast.
Did you know the average person spends four years of their life worrying?
Are you one of the many people with high potential that is paralyzed by fear?
Are you ready to take the next step to reach your full potential?
Dr. Benjamin, Ritter, specializes in fear and how to harness it to lead us to our best lives.
Welcome, Dr. Benjamin.
Thank you so much for having me.
I was just reflecting on how I have not felt fear from a conversation or an interview in a very
long time, especially if it's virtual. But in person, then I got some stories for you.
I love it. Well, that's a great first statement. So tell me from your perspective,
what does it mean to be fearless?
To be fearless, maybe that you are not being held back from anything that you actually really want to do.
It's about having no limits. It's about never doubting yourself.
It's about being able to make the most of situations,
and a little disclaimer. It's not about actually not doubting yourself,
but it's not allowing doubt to hold you back from taking action.
And so generally being fearless is that you do what you want to do without being held back by
the unknown or the lack of confidence or just anything in general. You take action.
Even when you're really scared, I find you know, you mentioned in person being fearless or being
fearful when you're in person. I know when I first had to speak in front of people, I was so scared.
I thought I was going to shake and fall off the stage and forget all my words.
And so thinking about strategies and how they help bust through fear that one may have,
what strategies have you found to be the most effective in managing fear and stepping out of your
comfort zone to bust through those fears?
So generally interrupting the fear cycle, but I'm going to say something
it may or may not resonate with some people yet, but if it doesn't, listen to it again.
So when I would go like maybe speak in person at an event to do it pretty regularly,
and some of them are more important to me than others, and I sometimes get this response.
And I think it was very similar to the response that I got when I went to get surgery for the first
time at the doctor's office. I would just all of a sudden start shaking. My legs would start shaking,
my arms would start shaking. I'd be sitting there and I'm thinking to myself, I don't feel afraid.
I don't feel like I'm not going to do this, but my body is responding to the situation that it's in.
And I think it's very important to like create a distinction between, is this something you're going to do,
but still feel uncomfortable doing it? And your body is just generally going to react to it,
because there's certain things we can control and certain things that we can control. We can control
if we're taking action and going through something that we think is important to us. We can control
at times our physiological responses to fear or to something that we're uncomfortable with.
And with exposure and with some other strategies, we generally can like reduce the impact of that fear,
but it's important to just at least kind of distinguish between,
we can, there are certain things we can't do and certain things that we can't do based on just
like working through things with our thoughts and interrupting the fear cycle.
So overall fear is a feeling that's, and that's all it is, it's information. It's defined by your thoughts
based on the fact that you believe that this thing is something that you're supposed to be afraid of.
And oftentimes that we miss, like we miss represent the feelings of fear as danger,
instead of just defining them as an occurrence is something that's happening and just information
about a situation that we want to do something about. And so the simplest thing I can say about
how to manage fear is to believe and accept that the threat that you feel from fear, at least
that initial response needs to be challenged and you need to just double check, let's go, okay,
I understand this is what I think. Let's explore why that is before we decide not to take any action.
Yeah, that's a great fantastic point. So when I, how do you differentiate between actual
healthy risk taking like taking a job out of your comfort zone from actually being reckless
in pursuit of your ambitions? Well, I'm not the one to judge if you're being reckless.
And generally nobody is other than yourself or the people that your life impacts.
So let's be fair, I cannot judge your actions. I cannot say that it's bad to be reckless or to,
you know, because I have my own aversion to risk, I have my own risk preferences. And the things
that I feel that I'm comfortable doing, maybe things that you aren't comfortable doing. And so I
kind of want to move away from this idea of how do we know if our actions are right or not? Well,
how about does it relate to something that you want to accomplish in your life?
And do the things that you want to accomplish then relate to the values that you believe that
you represent, like who you are at your core? And if so, and you're holding yourself back from those
things, then that fear, you might need to question it. So generally, what we want to do is take a look at
our goals and take a look at our values and say, am I doing everything that I can? Am I being intentional
to achieve these things? Or am I holding myself back from something for that we might say as fear?
Like for example, I can't tell you how many clients that I work with that are afraid for applying
to certain jobs because they doubt that they're good enough. But those jobs relate very much to
their own career goals and applying for a job in itself has a very low success rate. So that action
would not be serving them. And so we can look at actions like that to say based on your career goals,
based on your values, if who you are and how you want to show up in the world, is the thing that you're
holding is, is that like are you holding yourself back from those things? So would you say that's a
mindset shift with people or how do you address that? So not applying for a job that continues to come
up and people don't take it for example because they don't think they're good enough or maybe they're
only 50% of the way qualified. Do you have to do mind shift work with them or help them develop
the skills to feel comfortable with applying for the job? Maybe the job calls for other credentials
that they don't have. Like how do you address that for people that won't or have been applied for jobs?
Yeah, well everyone's different. And so that's the power of coaching. Coaching says,
here's this thing you think is important. So like let's say we've done a bunch of work. We've got
and clear who you are, what you believe is important and what you're working towards. Awesome.
So if you're goals, we have your values, we know it's important to you. We have clarity. Now we go great.
Go work. Go do it. Go hold yourself accountable. Go try to achieve the things that you want to achieve.
And then you find out all the weeks past and you haven't done anything. Okay, so it's not knowing
what to do. That's the issue. What else might it be? And so at times it can be, I don't believe in
myself enough. I don't think I have the skills. I don't have the skills to do the thing. Maybe it's just
a knowledge gap. But often it could be that your environment isn't, isn't set around yourself
to serve you. And it could also just be that you're afraid. You're afraid of changing something for whatever
reason. And so then depending on where you are as an as an individual, we have to dive into those
reasons and figure out what they are because generally some, if you're not doing something, something's
holding you back and you peel back the layers until you figure out what that thing is. It's holding you
back. And oftentimes when I work with clients, going to have this, this little quote, we've made
shirts around it. It says, feel your feelings. So you're feeling something great. Instead of reacting
to it, take a step back, feel whatever you're feeling, go inside your body, see where what if is your
heart race in? Okay. So they just recognize those things. Don't judge them, recognize them.
Now think about your thoughts. Now what are you thinking about? What is actually going on in your
mind? What are all the phrases and words? And so often in fear, we go, I'm afraid, stop, run. That's
it. But instead we should go, I'm afraid why? And then you go, why? And you go, why? And you
think about your thoughts. You're feeling your feelings, thinking about your thoughts. And this is
the big one. It's, don't believe your beliefs, which means, I'm labeling this thing as fear,
this thing that is terrible. It's going to destroy my life. It's going to hurt me. I'm going to be in
trouble. Go hold on a second. What if that wasn't true? What if we could challenge that and say,
I want to achieve this thing? What's the different belief I can choose to then make progress towards it?
And so each person, depending on the situation, we can talk about maybe even applying for jobs as
an example will require different strategies, depending on what the person is struggling with.
Yeah, I love that. I know one of my mentors that I've had as a very young, young, I would say,
child, but I was eight. He would tell me, now, what's the worst that could happen if you, you know,
take your, you know, training wills off your bike and you fall. He used to tell me all the time
when I was younger to try things and go and think about what's the worst thing that could happen.
And if I was comfortable with the worst thing, then I should kind of pursue whatever it was
that I was fearful about or sliding, jumping off the high board, dive board is a kid. I'm like,
that's too tall. What if I, you know, hurt myself? And so I always learned that I had to consider
what's the worst case scenario and going back to your example like the job. Okay, so, so what if you
apply and you don't get it, you know, apply again. What's the worst case that you applied for the job?
And they said, no, but what's the best case? You get the interview, right? So, do you have,
do you and your arsenal of tools is that, you know, do you have any specific tools that you suggest people
use in order to take bold actions to whatever they're trying to achieve, whether it be a job or,
you know, maybe asking a girl out on a date, it could be something completely not professional
related, it could be something personally related as well. Yeah, what you have to do is just basically
make the thing that you want and the strategy that you're going to use try to get there more important
than the fears that you have. And the, what's the best thing? What's the worst thing is a very good
example of something that you can do? You can go, you can basically say, if this thing is going to work
out like, for example, if I get selected for this job, is that more important to me? Is it going to
change my life in a positive way? And is that more important than the discomfort I feel from potentially
getting an automated rejection letter in an email? So that's a great strategy you can use. So,
understanding kind of what you like the understanding the actual fear, which is understanding your
feelings and your thoughts and your beliefs and then putting into perspective the thing that you
potentially could achieve. So really detailing that out. Generally, we're generally when you're working
through fears, if you focusing on the pillars of self-leadership can be very impactful. So you can do
exercises for creating clarity, exercises for creating confidence, and exercises to make the
environment around you like you're more in control of the situation that you are in. It's more,
it's oriented towards whatever your goals are. And so within the situation such as applying for
jobs, I think it's a little simple, but why not we go, why don't we go for it? The clarity is,
okay, so does your current job allow you to live your values personally? So we've identified your
values, we've explored a line and defined them. Let's say no. So that's a big one right there. It's
to say, okay, what I'm doing right now is not how, how I want to be defined in the world. That's a,
that's a huge, that's a huge desire. But now we want to say, well, okay, so how might I want to
actually achieve these values or show up in the world professionally? Well, maybe you're,
you're working at a company you don't believe in in a job that you don't believe in with a leader that
is toxic and not helping you grow as an individual. Maybe you have coworkers that you don't really get
along with maybe the organization itself is terrible boundaries. And so then you go through, okay,
what are my goals? I want to work at a place that is positive boundaries. I want to work at a place
that is this and this and this. So you define your goals. And generally if you know which way you're
going, it's much easier to act in a way that aligns to that. If you don't know where you're going,
this is generally what happens with people in fear. They haven't, they actually have, you get stuck.
You listen to the fear because the fear has a is a greater voice than the fog of ambiguity that you
have about higher living your life. So once you maybe you can do some exercises about defining your goals,
your direction, what potentially is needed to actually move in that direction, another one is just
believing in yourself and confidence. So maybe you don't apply to that job because you're telling
yourself on a daily basis, I'm not good enough or I don't deserve a job like that or I'm not qualified
for something like that. And if you fully believe that, you're not going to take action. So then if this
is what's holding you back, we go through and start doing some reframing. As you mentioned,
think you mentioned that word prior, which is, okay, if you think you're not qualified,
let's explore why you are qualified. Let's explore all the reasons why you might be a good fit for
this role and bring a benefit to this organization. And then you have to then emphasize those
beliefs on a daily basis through a couple different strategies, something as simple as opposed to
no, something as simple as an alarm with you speaking it to yourself. But generally when you are
reemphasizing beliefs, it needs to happen regularly and it needs to, you need to have supporting
reasons, or else you're not going to believe it. And the other piece would just be control. So
you're never going to apply for a job if you don't have time to apply for jobs. If you're coming home
at six, seven, eight o'clock at night from work and you're drained because of your toxic boss and
you're just going to say, ah, it's what's the point? I don't have time for this. I just want to eat,
I want to watch some TV and go to bed. So then controls about changing your environment to be more
supportive of what you're trying to achieve. So that could be creating boundaries, it could be developing
relationships, it could be hiring a coach. So depending again on what's holding you back would be,
would then change the strategies that we would use for the individual that's struggling.
But nothing, nothing is more powerful than convincing yourself that you have nothing to be afraid of,
believing, changing your, changing your frame of reference of fear, to information instead of truth.
Yeah, I love two, two things that you said, I, or possibly my two favorites is being self-aware and
mindful, right? First, a lot of times people, I don't think know what their values are. They're,
they think their values are, you know, one way and they're actually the other way. So I love that
you pointed that out because you can't really get where you're going. If you don't know what your values
are, like you mentioned with a toxic work environment. So I think some self-study is key to breaking
through and becoming, you know, fearless and whatever the tasks you are trying to achieve. And
what about accountability? Do you think that having an accountability partner helps people,
you know, bust through some of their fears?
Anytime you can have support towards what you're trying to achieve, the more likely you are going to
achieve it. If it's hiring a coach or if it's setting a deal with a friend or it's attending a
group like with the job piece, it's go to go to a group every single week or attend a virtual
meeting with these kind of job search networks that are online. The anytime that you know that
someone else is counting on you, not just yourself and you can put that extra pressure on you,
you're going to be able to probably hold yourself accountable. Now, the good have the opposite
effect where you get embarrassed and you feel too much pressure and so you distance yourself from
those relationships that sometimes you see, but then you have to work through some of the other
internal struggles that we've already talked about. Cutting the, you know, accountability is not
just that it helps you stay kind of committed to your actions, but generally it also surrounds
yourself with more positivity. And oftentimes when we're afraid of something, we're reinforcing
that fear through negativity. Through people around us that have those belief, those negative beliefs
about us through our own mental, you know, conversation that we're having on a regular basis.
And so if we want to help motivate ourselves to take action, we also have to make sure that we
have a good cheerleading squad. Absolutely. You know, made me think of something when you said that,
a lot of times I set reminders for myself in my phone. Like I'd say, calendaring them for something,
I calendar them to myself about something I'm working on. So holding myself accountable or something
I'm fearful about doing and reminding myself to continue to take, you know, bold steps and whatever
I'm, you know, fearful about. So from your perspective, do you have a personal experience or something
that you can share with our listeners about maybe something you were fearful about and you pursued
in a chief? I think I was a little bit lucky because I had a lot of disappointments early on in my career
that led me to be pretty fearless. So I wanted to be a professional soccer player and you can,
you know, the the percent chance that that's going to occur is pretty low, but for some reason,
I got it in my head that it was something that I needed to do, that it was my purpose and my passion.
And so when I lost that, I was really left without any sort of identity of self. I didn't really spend
any time developing relationships and friends. I was pretty socially awkward at the time because I was
focused so much on practicing and practicing three times a day. I didn't really watch TV, didn't go
drinking and getting out with people and you know, just was kind of like pretty empty when I lost that
because it was where I spent my time and what I believed I needed to spend my time on. And so I was
pretty afraid of everything, like literally everything, but what's so great at that point in time is I had
a choice to stay afraid. I had a choice to be no one and nothing because I had nothing to rely on
anymore. I lost my crutch or figure things out. And so I decided, and this is generally what will
happen with clients when I start working with them when they're in fear mode. You turn away from
fear, which is I'm going to lose something. I'm in trouble, something terrible is going to happen to
me if I do this thing. And generally because you have expectations of what the outcome is going to be.
And instead you put on your little sailors hat or explorer cap and you go, I'm going on an adventure.
And so I didn't have any expectations. And I just said, I'm going to explore what it means to be
social. I'm going to explore what it means to be confident. I'm going to explore a variety of
different jobs that exist in the world. And I'm just going to go explore life because I've held myself
back so much. And if you're able to accept the role of adventurer explorer to say, I don't have a map,
I don't know where I'm going, but that's my map. My map is I'm going to wander and find things and
see how they see what they're like. And if it doesn't work out, that's awesome. I learned something new.
If you can do that and put put on that cap and go on that adventure, you will have incredible
experiences and just not have fear because fear then can't latch on to anything because you have
no outcomes or expectations. And so for about four or five years, I explored life. I developed who I was,
my identity, my values, myself, my relationships, my friends, etc. And I've had a couple of many
journeys since then after that in different segments of my life, like my professional career and such.
But after that fear doesn't exist. Fear is not something that matters because if I start feeling
afraid of something, I realize that if a path doesn't work out towards a specific direction I want to go,
I just pick a different path. That's that's what's so fun about being an explorer.
I love these stuff because I usually correlate it to shoes. So you correlated it to paths. I always say,
man, if that's you didn't fit, I just try on another pair. So I'm going to go with your path. That would
sound better. And I love that you you kind of trained yourself to be comfortable with, you know,
changes and, you know, I wouldn't call it fear or can be failure. I would say it wasn't so much fear.
It was you were just setting out, like you mentioned, on an adventure to figure out who you were,
you know, and what you were good at. And I think when you take it less, I'm not sure the right word,
when you take it less serious and you're less serious about it, unless, um,
difficult on yourself, I think it's easier to come out and learn more about yourself and say,
wow, I tried, you know, as a soccer player and I actually really like tennis and I'm pretty good at tennis.
And I think you make a really good point unless you try it and you explore something new, you'll
never know what you are good at. And through that perseverance, you're able to find more about
yourself and develop yourself and, um, and build confidence to bus through that fear, um, to get to
whatever that goal is. This is funny that we're talking about fear because the example I'm going to
use is about the book that I'm releasing this year called "Becoming Fearless." And so to publish a book,
you query agents. Like you can self-publish, you can hybrid publisher, you can find a publish,
an agent that wants to sell your book to a publisher. And I was talking to someone the other day,
like a publicist and like, what's the age of you in? I'm like, I'm querying agents right now.
And I remember a piece of advice I received when I was sending out initial kind of queries to
agents in the past and it was, you haven't sent out enough requests until you can wallpaper your room
and rejection letters. And I have 176 queries out right now. And I heard back, no, from a couple,
but I also heard back a yes from today for more information. And life is like that and implying for
jobs is like that. I don't, I don't care how many people say no, how many automated rejections I
get. And I was on a phone with a client this morning and they were getting a little discouraged. And I
say 99% of the applications you send out are going to be no because you're going to take one job.
And maybe some other ones you have some interviews for, but that's just the game you're playing.
And the no is just mean you're getting closer to a yes. And this is a huge, just like a huge sales
advice too. It's every person you say no, you're eventually going to get a yes, but count how many
no's it takes to get to a yes. Because then as you're counting the no is you're eventually going
to get to the number where you get a yes. And the same is the same thing with life. It's so the
the nose just show that you are actually taking action that you're facing your fear. And if you're
learning from those no's if they're worth learning from because a lot of the nose are just,
there's just a data point that generally doesn't have any sort of actual information you can take from it.
But eventually if you keep going and you know it's going to work you're going to get to your yes.
There's another point, fantastic nugget that you mentioned in there. I think it's,
you're attitude, right? So if you have a hundred people reject you for a job, but you're only going
to take one job. So through the 99 rejection, what are you learning through the process? Who are you
becoming? And those, you know, first 10 jobs that rejected you maybe you decided gosh I'm not sure if
I want to be in that industry anymore. If I have to go through, you know, 20 interviews to, you know,
to get a job and, you know, rigorous things, I know some people have had many long interview processes
and, you know, they've come out of that process saying, you know, I don't know if I want to work
for an organization that it, you know, takes the year to get a job in 20 interview processes. And so,
I think you made two fantastic points. It's, it's what you learn through your process through the
process of, you know, rejection if that's the right word. And then who you become and your
attitude, I think is another, you know, when you have your, your mindset on being a professional
soccer player and that's all your energy, all your time, your entire being is in being that person.
And then all this sudden you have to pivot, you know, you could have chose to, to things, you know,
to lay around and kind of feel sorry for yourself and realize your dreams and your life is over or you
could really grab those reins, get back on that horse, go figure out who you are, what you're good at
and put it out there to the world. And, and I think that those are fantastic points that you've made
is through, through your journey through fear of being fearless.
And just want to comment on also being an executive leader because, I know we,
probably have some executive leaders listening. And I work with a lot of emerging leaders. I work with
a lot of kind of directors and VPs, people that are being considered for greater leadership positions.
And I can't tell you how many of them be like they accept the role that they think they are based on
their job title instead of act through kind of like the skills that they, like utilize the skills
that they have. So someone sitting in a meeting, not talking, not engaging because they think it's
not their topic or not their place, but they have goals of continuing growing in the organization,
developing relationships, solidifying executive brand. But for some reason, they've allowed
themselves to be boxed in. And being fearless relates to just, are you showing up in a way that is
authentically you and not a way that someone or something, something that you believe you need to be?
And in those moments, what's wrong with speaking up, challenging an executive's opinion,
sharing your own, calling on someone because they haven't been talking that much. And I think often we
just because of fear or because of whatever beliefs we have, we stop being, we stop being the person
that we know we want to be or are. And I hope, and you know, in terms of strategies, you could start
small and say, okay, every meeting I'm going to just make one comment or every meeting I'm going to
ask one question. And but you eventually start, you start kind of building momentum towards the
actual executive brand or person that you want to be within the professional environment in your life.
I love that. I think that's another great nugget is is holding yourself accountable. Okay, I have
this call with all the senior leaders. And I need to speak up about something, whatever it is. And
holding yourself accountable to do that is really key. And if you're in that role, there's a reason
you're in that role. And it's it's to grow that organization's business. And so leaning into that
in and having an opinion is key, right? Or, or, you know, speaking up when they call on you. Or if not
speaking up about something you're passionate about, I think is fantastic advice.
Just kind of a couple, you know, we, we all have setbacks in our journey, you know, on this earth. And we
all have things that are out of our control and that have set us back or pushed us forward. I guess
in closing, any top three takeaways for our listeners on what they can do today to become fearless.
Or maybe any nuggets from your upcoming book you want to share.
Yeah, well, well, first off, as I was thinking about this is we were kind of hashing out that speaking
up in a meeting kind of situation. We often get discouraged because we have a picture of who we want
to be. And then we have the reality of who we are. And who we are today is struggling with fear,
who we want to be is maybe this like person that's, you know, at a podium, leading in all hands,
meeting across an organization. Well, maybe we just need to change our picture of like who we
think we need to be today. And so if you're struggling with fear in public speaking, well,
asking that one question can be a huge win, no matter if your voice trembled or you thought that
it did or jumping into meeting and, you know, sharing a comment in a in the chat box with your
video off is still a win. And so how do we just kind of alter our expectations a little bit and
realize that dealing with fear and changing our beliefs and feeling comfortable in different
situations is not something that happens overnight. It's something even my own journey four to five
years that was not an understatement. And I was still I had still other experiences after that
where I was learning how to deal with certain aspects of fear. So we have to give ourselves a little
bit of grace and then make sure that we understand that the path moving forwards has milestones. It has
objectives. It has summits. It's not just all of a sudden you get transported into this idealistic
version of who you are without fear. I love it. You know, it made me think when you said speaking.
I remember the first time I spoke, Dr. Benjamin, it I had to start my speech with my back to the
audience because I was literally trembling and I had the microphone and I turned my back to the
audience and I said something I forget to this day when I said to them and I turned back around and
they started clapping for me and I think that that change speaking for me and because I was scared out
of my mind to speak and even in a room with two people nevertheless, you know, this room had 50 people
and but like you said, you have to push yourself a little bit and set goals and objections and
you know, really hold yourself accountable for who you want to become.
Yeah. And that that honestly is the key is knowing who you want to become,
knowing what you really want to achieve and I and often the things that we say we want to achieve
have not really been defined that thoroughly in our mind and if a goal is just a little bit
flexible where there's cracks in it and you think you have to do all or nothing to make it work,
it's never going to happen. So I'd say give yourself, like figure out what those small steps are but
even before that really create a picture of what you are working towards and why you're working
towards it and make sure that it's something that you truly want because often we just have a bunch
of things in our to-do list or our let's not be afraid and list that don't really matter to us
because life itself is still comfortable and then we have to find we have to find what is going to make
us the most uncomfortable to help us just really actually create finally that real desire and
accountability to change. Yeah, I'll give a plug to one of my favorites, Michael Jordan.
I watched his biography and read some information about him on how he visualized for years and years
and years making a basket and shooting baskets and doing the same thing and doing the same thing but
he spends a lot of time visualizing who he was and what he was becoming even more so than he did
actually throwing the basket and so I think that's a fantastic point is who do you want to become
and what do you want to do and what are your values and if you're not living, you know, I like to say
your best life it's up to you to make those changes and to persevere through that fear. Yeah, no one
else is going to do it for you. Even if you pay higher coach, the person still can't do the work for
you. They can do some of the things but you're ultimately the one responsible and it might sound
really simple, it's not easy but it just has to come from a decision from you first. Yeah, absolutely.
So now that I know that you're launching a book that's great news, congratulations, I love it.
Any insider tips you want to tell us about this book or maybe teasers that
have what we could expect for your book? Yeah, it's about, I think it's about 60-ish or 70-ish
different tips related to becoming fearless that split into personal and professional.
In the personal section, we cover things like mindset, overall your success, relationships,
and then purpose because purpose is a pretty played a pretty big role in my life, especially in
relationship to fear and then a professional section. We cover job satisfaction, leadership,
presence, and career growth. In general, I thought these were all the areas that fear attended
to hold us back and it covers a lot of the stuff we discussed today but gives a little bit more
kind of to-do's and action items that you can use to start working towards this fear.
I mean, there's even one in there about engaging meetings and make the most of your meetings.
It's kind of talked about today which is one of the greatest mistakes that I see people make
in the professional world. So they want to grow in their career, they want to make a difference,
they want to be seen as an executive and they just stay quiet and they multitask or they're afraid
of sharing their ideas when it's really the best place for people to actually get eyes on your
talent and your skills. Yeah, it's a platform for you to share your- because nobody's going to
advocate for you. I mean, maybe you have a boss that advocates for you but sometimes you got
a self-advocate and share what you know so people know that you know. Otherwise, you might get in a
situation where people are either sharing your ideas and your strategies and they're getting
the promotion as opposed to you getting the promotion. And so I love that and I'm shocked that so many
executive leaders are fearful to apply for the jobs and speak up because they're in that
role for a reason, right, to lead teams and strategies and businesses forward and whatever its mission is.
Yeah, it's pretty incredible. We tend to be our worst enemy in the workplace. I mean, I work with
leaders that also they're so checked out. They're so resentful of maybe their manager or leader
or don't feel recognized enough that they just stop taking pride in their work too. So what do you
think happens when someone doesn't feel that they're in the right job and stops showing up
and doesn't take pride in their work themselves? So it just kind of builds on the cycle of negativity
when it comes to work and takes away from their ability to actually feel satisfied at work.
Or they're so they can't say no, they have no boundaries because they're afraid of what it means
for their potential job security and their livelihood. So they do everything but because they're
doing everything, they're exhausted, they're drained and start making mistakes and so guess what
happens. And so fear in itself has so many negative implications when it comes to our success in
the professional work environment, not just our personal life. Oh, that's so good. I think our
listeners are going to definitely love to hear some of the the nuggets you gave us. Any closing
thoughts or anything that we haven't touched on as it pertains to your listeners that you want to
share with the listeners? Yeah, we try to change our whole life at once. I'm so happy with all these
things, but each one of the things that we want to change if we're not doing it as some semblance of
fear attached to it. And so you can choose to attack a little tiny bit of fear or all the fear at once
and you're going to be much more successful if you choose a little tiny bit of fear. So pick one
small thing you want to take some action on and practice. Practice what it's what it feels like to
explore your thoughts and to feel your feelings and to question your beliefs around it, write stuff down,
be your greatest champion within this area and take a small action that's going to prove that
you're nothing to be afraid of. That's great. I love it. That's great advice. Dr. Benjamin, thank you
so much for sharing your insights and your time with our listeners. Connect with Dr. Benjamin,
get his book. I can't wait to get it myself. And that's the Executive Connect podcast. Thank you.
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