♪ Made a decision on me ♪
♪ I'll face the sunny sun ♪
♪ What on a head of vision ♪
♪ What is life be like? ♪
- What's up, everybody?
It's for crying out loud.
- It is.
- Yeah, how's everybody doing?
- Everybody is doing fine.
Tonight, today's Monday.
- Yeah.
- Bachelor in Paradise starts.
- Oh yes.
- And I do, for Roseprix, I have to cover that show.
So this is my busy season.
I, this is gonna sound so spoiled
'cause like, oh my God, I'm so busy.
(laughing)
I have to watch TV and talk about it.
Life is so hard.
My job though is like, recording with you,
which is super fun.
- Yeah.
- Then watching Bachelor in Paradise,
which is also pretty fun.
- Right, and especially now, I have a new way of taking notes.
I think I told you this, which is I just talk into my phone
into my notes app.
- Oh.
Life has changed for me in a big way.
The only problem is that when you do the,
when it takes the dictation,
it likes to spell things its own way.
Like AI does.
- I hate that.
- And I'm like, why don't you think that first of all,
you change your own, some words are just in all in caps.
- No, right.
It just decided that the word Michelle always is in caps.
- Exactly.
- And then it sort of kind of knows what I'm trying to say,
but not really, so it just puts its own thing
and then when I go to read it back, I'm like,
what am I talking about?
- You know what, I have the same kind of issue,
but it's a little different,
and it's my navigation and my new car.
And if I'm like, okay, I gotta go to the dry bar,
I'm gonna go to the Costco, but the one in Van Ayes,
I'll go Costco and I'll go like New Mexico.
- Yeah, I'm going to the Costco in New Mexico.
What the, why would it have?
Just why?
Like why would it have that?
- Right.
- I'm in the state of California.
- Right, why would that be your first choice?
- Why would it that be your last choice?
Like after you keep saying it and then they go,
oh hold on, do you mean the one right by your house?
- Right.
- It should go like Van Ayes, Kenoga Park, blah, blah, blah.
- Yeah, New Mexico should be at the bottom,
but no, it's like one of the first things that come up.
Or I swear one was like in Mexico.
I was like, where am I going?
Any my passport to get to Costco?
What the hell?
So yeah, that's the problem with AI, they get shit fucked up.
- Yeah, they do.
But the way I was doing it,
we'll peek behind the curtain of how like I do my recapping stuff.
I was getting my laptop.
Well first of all, it used to be hard.
I got a new computer, I don't know like six months ago,
which has changed my life because my old computer,
the battery didn't work very well.
- Oh, so you unplugged the computer,
you got 10 minutes.
- Right.
- You know, better get things done.
- Yeah.
- So if I had to bring the computer,
unplug everything, bring it over,
plug it in by my bed, set it up on a little bed desk,
and then watch the show and then take notes,
the long way, pause, right?
Type it all out, you know?
It was pretty tedious.
And then John was like,
why don't you just talk into your notes app?
And I was like, what?
Why are you so crazy trying to make me do something
that I'm not used to?
And he's like, it's really easy.
And I'm like talking to,
like how's that even working?
- Right, give me your phone.
Here, here's your notes app, here's the microphone.
Watch the show, press that.
Tell it where you, and I was like,
oh, and then it changed my life.
And then I was like, yeah,
but then I'm gonna have to look at it in my notes app.
He's like, no, then you cut and paste it
if you want into a document, then he can,
and I was like, oh, well, you got an answer for everything.
- Yeah, but still.
(laughing)
- So it's changed my life.
It's so much easier.
- Yeah, but still, Bachelor in Paradise is a two-frickin' hour show.
- Well, that's the other thing I was gonna say,
how long does it take you?
'Cause isn't Bachelor like a two hour,
aren't they all two hours?
- They're two hours, yeah.
- She's a reason.
And you have to pause in between and take notes
that's gotta, you can be there all night.
So let me ask you about Bachelor in Paradise.
- Yeah.
I got it.
I'm just telling you that I'm gonna text my daughter back
because even though she knows I'm recording,
she just wrote, "Bout to go in, wish me luck, oh."
So you guys remember?
- Yes.
- That she's about to go in for a job interview.
- Oh.
- And she just silenced her notifications.
- Oh, good luck, Elf.
- Beautypie.
- Well, sweet.
- Brought to her.
- I know.
I just got a text from Natalia
that she's got a drive-girma home.
(laughs)
- She's been driving him home.
That's been part of her job.
- Oh my God.
- And he doesn't live close.
- I know.
- So when are we gonna know about Elby?
Will she text you back?
After the interview?
- I told her that I'll be recording,
but that she should text me anyway, just so I know.
- Yeah.
- So I can tell us.
- See how it went.
- Right.
- I'll call her after I'm done.
So listen, her interview, it's 309 right now.
Her interview is officially at 315.
- Mm-hmm.
- I like that she's early.
- Yeah.
- If you're on time, you're late.
- That's how I-- - That's how I--
- For a job interview?
- Right.
- Be early.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So anyway, I don't know what she's wearing,
but I'm sure she's cute.
- Oh, she's gonna get the job.
- I know.
- She's really cute little hostess.
- It just needed to get a job like immediately.
- Yeah.
- Because it is draining to, for, during the summer,
to have three kids with no jobs
that need money all the time.
- Right.
I get it.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, so yeah.
And then I also got a text from my brother saying,
and I'm not sure why this is, but he says,
"Let me know if you ever want me back on
"for crying out loud.
"We may now have the same demographic."
- Oh, what does that mean?
- I don't know.
Does he do a podcast?
- No.
I don't know.
Well, he can come on.
- He's been doing a lot of TikTok videos
about being as swifty.
Well, maybe it's because he turned 50.
- I see.
Oh, okay.
So our demographic, but our demographic is,
we have a lot of stuff.
- Yes, we do.
- Yeah.
- We have a lot of stuff for the little show,
'cause we're very young, spirited.
- Yeah, we are.
- What were we even talking about?
- We were talking about Bachelor
because I had a question.
- Yes.
- Are there seniors on it this year?
- Yes.
- Are there goldins?
- Yes.
(laughs)
Are they good?
I didn't watch the second gold.
I didn't watch the golden bachelor at.
- I just don't know what that's gonna be like.
I feel like they should,
the goldins should have their own thing.
- Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
- How about the golden bachelor?
And I would be like, make it into the age range
for golden bachelor.
I don't wanna be surrounded by a bunch of like,
young hotties and restring bikinis.
- Yes.
- And then having a guy, you're trying to date.
Look at these young girls.
- Yes, no thank you.
- Is that what they're doing?
They're mixing them all together?
- I mean, that's what I think they're doing.
Didn't Bachelor and Parrot I stop for a while?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Now it's back.
- I'll be just wrote, thanks mama.
- Oh, good luck.
(groans)
- She's so freaking cute.
- She is.
- She's gonna be a very cute hostess.
- She said just waiting inside.
- Oh, they're big eyes.
- I'm gonna say, I'm gonna just say,
you got this.
- She does got this.
- Got this.
They are lucky to have you.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm so excited for her.
- Yeah.
I hope we get good news soon.
I know.
It's really honestly good news for me.
- Right.
- I mean, I'm sure she'd be fine not getting a drink.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yes.
- Right.
- No skin off her back.
- Exactly.
- Just like less time that she has to go to work.
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- Oh well, mom, they didn't like me.
I guess I'm gonna have to take more time off.
- Right.
- No.
- No, she's not like that.
- She loves it now.
- No, she's not.
- You know what?
This morning, Natalia, this is weird.
She went, where'd she go?
She woke up early at like six and went to her Pilates class.
Came home, shower.
I know.
Came home, shower, got ready, went to work, got to work.
She supposed to be there at nine.
She got there at 830, which she got there.
She was called me throwing up in the parking lot.
- What?
Oh no.
- And I'm like, and she wasn't drinking her.
I mean, she went to bed early last night.
She was home all day, yesterday, chilling.
And she was like, I don't know what to do.
What do I do?
I have to be at work in half an hour.
And I'm like, okay, just, just,
and she kept throwing up.
And I said, okay, did you eat anything?
She goes, no.
I go, well, you went and worked out.
And then he didn't eat.
And she goes, well, I've done that before,
but I've never thrown up.
So, and I made a dinner for her last night.
- Oh.
- What's my stir fry?
I made her really healthy chicken stir fry.
- So what happened?
Did she eat something?
- So I don't know.
So I told her, just chill in your car for a few minutes.
Maybe get a coke or something to sell your stomach.
And then she was like, okay, I think I feel better.
So now she's been at work.
- Okay.
- Yeah, so.
- Well, it's kind of late.
So it's 315.
- Yeah.
- She's been there all day and she had no issue.
- Yeah, she's okay.
- She's probably fine.
Yeah, she's fine now.
But yeah, it was a little weird.
- That's so funny because the other night,
I wanna say July 4th,
Zander came into our room like late night, like midnight.
And his girlfriend was over.
The kids had friends over and Zander's girlfriend was over.
And he came in the room and he goes,
I don't feel well.
I feel like, I kinda feel like really sick to my stomach.
Like I'm gonna throw up.
And he's like, but I feel really bad.
'Cause like, my girlfriend just got here
and we have friends over.
And I was like, okay, well, go tell them that you need a minute
'cause he obviously doesn't drink.
It wasn't that.
Not obviously, but he doesn't drink.
So he's like, I ate something from a food truck.
I was like, oh God,
I hope you don't have food poisoning.
- No, no, no.
- So then I was getting very worried.
And then I said, well, just go tell your friends
that you need to just chill for a minute.
So he did.
But then literally a few minutes later,
I heard him laughing.
And he was like, I never heard anything about it again.
And the next day I was like,
- No, no, no.
- I thought you were about to throw up and he goes,
yeah, I was and I went in my room for like 10 minutes
and then I felt better.
- Wow.
- Like, all right.
- So weird.
I don't know, maybe something's going on with these teens.
What do you do when your kids, like, I'm throwing up.
I'm like, well, you just gotta get it out.
I don't know, I have any, you know,
there's nothing you can tell them to do.
Can't say, take a Tylenol, you'll feel better.
I mean, you know, that's the thing with throwing up.
It's like, I'm literally listening to her throw up.
And I'm like, what do I tell her to do?
You know, just sit in the car or rest or go and,
I said go in there and get, she's like,
there's food all the time.
I said go in there and eat something.
And I think that's what she did.
And then she felt better.
You know, I don't know.
Natalia is a little sensitive.
- Right.
- That way.
She's always been a pukeer.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Sunny gets like, fevers and sick. Natalia throws up.
I hope she not sick.
- Interesting.
Yeah.
You know, some kids too are prone to strep throat
and others aren't.
- Interesting.
- Like Julie's daughter gets strep throat all the time.
Used to get strep throat, like all the time.
Like, anytime she was sick, she was like,
"Strap, wow."
And Elby's never had strep throat.
- Zander had strep throat one time,
but it was literally like last year.
- Oh, really?
- So it's not like he had it as a kid.
And then some kids get ear infections all the time
and some my kids never do.
- Right.
Whatever happened in mono.
Remember that?
- It still exists.
Is it something different?
- Is it something different?
Is it kissing disease?
- Yeah, I had it.
I remember.
- You did?
- Yeah, but I wasn't kid.
I was young.
I was like 12 or 13.
I wasn't kissing boys then, but I do remember getting it.
And I'm like, "How do I have a kissing disease?"
And it was the worst sickness I think I've ever had.
It was horrible.
My throat was swollen.
My ears, I couldn't hear.
My head was pounding.
I had a fever.
I just remember just and it never ended.
It felt like it went on for days.
Like it lasted for like a week and a half.
- Mono lost for like six weeks?
- Yeah, it felt like it let, yeah.
It probably lost.
I can't remember, but it's a last, remember it never ends.
Just get really tired all the time?
- Very, yes, very tired.
Yeah, yeah.
I just remember.
And being in that house in West Hills
with no fricking air conditioning in the valley
and 110, I was just miserable.
No air conditioning with a fan just blowing on me.
- Like God.
- It was awful.
That house was awful.
- And cockroaches.
There's cockroaches by my new house now.
In your new house, or would he buy your new house?
You saw one?
- In my new house.
They come from outside, the guy said.
- And they come in through pipes.
- Oh God, great.
Yeah, I saw one the other day in our house.
- What the fuck?
- And then John put a bunch of traps out.
Yeah, you gotta cover everything.
You gotta make sure that all these little things
around the house, you have it great.
'Cause you also don't want rats and shit to get in there.
- Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I walk around the house and look at those.
- But before we switch topics.
- Yeah.
- How old were you the first time you kissed a boy?
(sighs)
- I was, and his name was Darren.
And it was, it was on Encino Avenue.
And I was in, I think, oh.
I was like an eighth grade.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
- So I was kinda young.
- Yeah, I mean, I just--
- I just-- - I just estimation.
- I kissed.
- I was ninth grade.
So you were ninth grade?
- Yeah, and I was young actually, 'cause July birthday.
- Yeah, yeah.
And where were you?
And we just kissed.
And I remember who was, like, who was he?
Did you have a crush on him?
- I had a huge crush on him.
And then he found out I had a crush on him.
So then he had a crush on me.
And then I don't remember.
I think he was, oh, he was very, he was walking,
he was holding my hand and walking me back to Pam's house.
And then we stopped by a tree.
And he leaned and he kissed me.
And I remember, he tasted like Coca-Cola.
- Ooh, yeah.
- That's not bad.
- It wasn't bad.
But the tongue thing, I was like, oh, whoa, whoa.
(laughs)
I didn't expect it.
I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I was like, okay.
And then, and then we had a crush.
And then I don't, that was about it with him.
That was, we didn't go any further.
These poor guys, I feel like,
got like if a guy is not a good kisser, it's done.
- Exactly.
- Really hard to get past that.
- It's, I was talking to my girlfriend the other night.
She went on a date and she liked them.
But she, he took a while to warm up to her.
You know, he's trying to be a gentleman, whatever.
But then she's like, finally, when we kissed,
she's like, thank God he was a good kisser.
Because yeah, that could be a game.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh my God. - Where were you?
- When there's too much tongue?
- Yeah.
- They just stick their tongue in your mouth
and then just like, - And they just roll it
in a circle. - Oh, blut.
(laughs)
- I'm like, hot arm, like they probably don't know.
- They don't know, I know.
- There's somebody has to tell them what to do.
- Right. - And they're like,
okay, wait, so I gotta do what?
- I have to, my tongue in their mouth.
They're probably kind of grossed out too.
- Exactly.
- And then I gotta just poke it a rat,
like, what am I supposed to dart it back at her foot?
(laughs)
- Yeah, they need, I feel like I should maybe tell Sunny
or something, like, had a kiss a girl.
Do you think he's kissed a girl at this point?
- I think so, yeah.
Yeah, oh yeah.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Things I've heard.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- But he doesn't share.
- He doesn't share.
Well, he does sometimes.
He'll tell me if he likes a girl, but it's more Natalia.
Has there been girls that he's liked that have liked him back?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Right.
- Not an organ, but out here.
- Okay.
- I don't think he's met anybody in Oregon, but I don't know.
Maybe-- - Maybe those neighbors.
Those girls, I don't know.
See, Sunny, I don't know if he would tell me, really.
- Yeah.
- It's hard because, like, Elby tells me everything,
which I live for it.
- Yeah. - I mean, like, Elby,
I can count on to just climb and bed with me and go like,
oh my God, have I told you this?
- Yeah.
- And then it's like, no girl, you haven't.
- Right. - Well, I love that.
- And then she launches into a whole,
everything about her personal life.
Now, Sadie is kind of the opposite.
She tells me nothing keeps it close to me.
And I have to hear stuff about Sadie from Elby.
- Oh, interesting.
- And then Elby has to say, don't tell Sadie,
I told you.
- Yes.
- But it's nothing, like, in case God--
- Right.
- And then the off chance that Sadie listened to this,
nothing, I'm sure, super personal.
- Right.
- Just how she's doing, like, you know,
she just doesn't really share much with me.
And if I try to pry, I really get the, like, really mom,
like, you know, it's funny.
Natalia used to be like that.
She's getting more with sharing stuff.
But she has to do it on her time.
Like, if I bring it up or go, hey,
so what's going on with that biache,
that was mean to you know, or whatever, right, right, right.
- Should be like, oh, I don't know what it's all over with.
I don't want to talk about it.
- Hey, man.
- You know, I'm like, okay.
So I have to say she's like a kitten or, you know,
I have to let her come to me.
And then when she does, she opens up and she'll talk.
Same with Sunny too.
I, like, if I take them out to dinner
or we're eating together or something,
and we get talking, you know, he can be pretty open.
But he doesn't, he won't like tell me, tell me, you know?
- Yes.
- I don't know if maybe because he's a boy,
I feel weird like, so you gotta grow,
because what if he doesn't have a girlfriend?
I don't know, I don't want to make him feel, I don't know.
It's different.
It's also sucks if you're like, I'm going to take him out
for dinner and it's just going to be the two of us.
And stuff's going to come up, like,
you're just going to spill it and then they don't
and then it's awkward silence.
- No, except, you know what it goes with him?
- UFC fights.
- Oh no.
- NFL draft, the guy on ESPN or who's an idiot,
doesn't know what he's talking about.
I mean, that's where it goes.
Like, and he'll just go.
And sometimes I don't, I forget he's talking.
And then I'm like, oh yeah, okay.
It's like, I'm like eating and I'm like,
oh, this is really good.
And then he's still going and I'm like,
oh, now I got to pay attention.
Wait, who was this guy?
Who did this guy was on the NBA or whatever?
That's where Sonny is.
- Right, right, you know.
Well, Elby will sometimes, and I'm sure she gets it from me.
She's a talker, like I am.
- Yeah.
- But something that Elby does that's kind of funny is,
she'll tell you the same story two times at the same time.
You know what I mean?
Like, she thinks she's just reiterating,
but she's like retells it.
Like, she almost retells it with a slightly different cadence.
- Yes.
- And you sometimes want to go like,
you know you literally just told me that.
Like, you literally just, but then,
I think like, I don't want to cut her off.
- Right.
- I'm enjoying it.
- Let her talk.
- Yes, that's how I am with Sonny.
Yeah.
Let's go ahead.
But if I was to tell Elby something twice,
she'd be like, I know you already told me that.
- Me same.
Same.
Like, Nutella would be like, I know,
or I will tell them something.
And it goes in one ear and out the other.
And then, hey, don't forget you have this.
And then why didn't you tell me?
Bitch, I told you.
I'm taking both of them tomorrow to the dermatologist.
Oh.
- Yeah.
Because Nutella gets these breakouts sometimes.
Like, her skin's fine.
And then all of a sudden she breaks out.
You know, it's her hormones and stuff.
And then Sonny's, like, only from his forehead up,
he's got acne.
Nothing like really on his cheeks or anywhere else.
Eyebrows to his hairline.
And I think it's because of his hair and all that oil,
his hair is so dense.
And all that oil from his hair just comes down to his forehead.
And he wanted to go to, he wanted to go to the dermatologist too.
So it'll be cute taking them to the doctor together.
- Yeah.
- What times?
- Yeah, you have one that you like.
I just picked one in Pasadena,
some dermatologist institute.
Yeah.
- Do you want live updates?
- Yeah.
- And then we'll do an ad.
- Okay, so Elvier wrote,
Elvier wrote,
"I have a second interview with the main hiring manager
tomorrow at 345.
That was the fastest interview I've ever been in."
- Wow, it was fast.
- So I think it was like a screening.
- A screening?
- Right.
And then she's gonna interview with the hiring one.
- Nice.
- So she's got another great.
- That's great.
- Oh, go for Elvier.
- Y'all get the gig.
- She'll get it.
Should we do an ad?
- Yeah, we can do an ad.
- Yeah, do an ad.
Let's do it.
- All right.
Talk about thrives.
Let's talk about thrives.
- I love it.
- I, you know, I told you the other day,
I wore their eyeliner that was like smudge proof
and it lasted all day, which I love.
But the brilliant eye brightens, you can't go wrong.
We tell you about it there.
The eye shadow highlighter stick
and they have all these different colors.
They have metallic shades.
31 shades, by the way.
And again, full proof formula, easy to apply
and stays put all day.
- Yeah, I love it.
And the eye was wearing the eye brightener.
I like the white or the really pale, pale brown.
- Oh, brown.
- And the pink.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's just the subtle thing
that works so beautifully in summer.
- Yes.
- Yeah, so try, oh, go ahead.
- No.
(laughs)
- You do, take it.
- Try your new trusty favorites with an exclusive set
for our listeners.
New customers can get the liquid lash extensions mascara
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- Yeah, and also quince.
- Love quince.
- Yeah, we love quince.
I buy a lot of stuff from quince.
We got our first stuff we got given to us,
but really the rest I just buy myself if I love it.
- Yes, so does an Italian.
For summer, they have all these great new stuff
and they got my wrap dress from them.
- Yep.
- They have linen tops starting at $30.
The thing is that they work directly with top artisans
and they cut out the middlemen.
So that's how they can give you the luxury without the markup.
I bought Xander.
I was just telling you on Tuesday about him some
like really cute shorts.
- Yes, yes.
- That he loves.
- They already got them.
- Nice.
- Yeah, so if you are thinking of anything you want to buy,
go check and see if they have it on quince first.
Go look at their purses and their jewelry and all the stuff.
Give your summer closet an upgrade with quince.
Go to quince.com/fceol.
- Okay, we were going to talk about poop crews.
Oh my God.
I saw people on our Facebook page talking about a two.
The poo were on our Facebook page.
Yeah.
And I saw people on our Facebook page talking about a two.
I saw people on our Facebook page talking about a two.
The poo were on our Facebook page.
Yeah.
Netflix does this thing now.
I notice it's called Train Rec.
And there are all these different stories.
It started with Train Rec.
I think like Woodstock 99 and they do the documentary about the Woodstock disaster.
And then they did Train Rec, all these different other stories.
- I think they probably did the fire festival.
- They did the fire festival, yeah.
And they just came out with one American apparel.
I keep seeing that on my Netflix and I want to see that.
I want to see it too.
It's only like an hour, but I feel like I listened to that whole story on a pot on like a
multi-episode podcast that might have been like scandals or some like scam podcast.
Okay.
I was going to ask you, do you know what the deal is with American peril?
I don't remember.
I'd have, you know, I know.
I know.
I'd have, I want to see it though.
I want to see it too.
It's a fucked up story.
I think it, I think they weren't they the ones that were doing those ads of young kids or
something.
Yeah, yeah.
Or maybe I don't know what it is, but.
- The guy that owns that company was like really gross.
- Yeah.
Why is that?
Didn't that happen in another, like the other?
- The envy I think.
- Yeah.
- Weird.
- Yeah.
- That's what these guys.
- Yeah.
Poop Cruise was, I thought it was pretty funny.
- It was three girls that were talking about their experience.
- Yes.
- They were, they were, they were about, it was like a Bachelorette thing.
- Yes.
- Right.
And they were, yeah.
And it turned into just a horrible, what a nightmare.
Yeah.
So basically if you haven't seen it, the idea is that they, they lost power.
That's what it was.
And then they couldn't flush the toilet.
- There was a fire, I think, right?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- How the hell does that happen on a huge boat like that?
You would think that there would be some kind of precaution or something, you know?
Yeah.
So the fire started and then they lost power.
And at first they were like, everything's totally fine.
So they, so they were like, oh, the power is out, but it's going to be right back on.
Like everybody, you're going to be fine.
And then it did not, it was like, oh no, this is like fucked up.
We're in bad shape here.
- Yeah worse.
- And worse.
- We're not going to get the power back.
- Yeah.
- Turned out it was like a main, a lot of, it was going to be too hard to fix.
So then they were going to have to send boats out to like, to tow them to the closest place.
But they were like, but by the way, the toilets work on like power.
- Yes.
- So you cannot flush the toilet.
- Right.
- So then people were like, oh, what?
- I mean, you imagine.
And then they gave them like biohazard bags to use and just put it out in front of you.
I mean, oh my god, some of the stories was so, these poor people.
And then I think it was only supposed to be like a two or three day cruise.
It ended up being like five days because they were just floating out in the ocean.
And then they had to go to, I don't know, Seattle.
I don't know where some other port.
And then remember they were trying to make everybody feel better.
So they were like, open bar.
And then that one, that one sideways, sideways fat open bar.
- Yeah, it was just got like super drunk.
And then they were all the men were like peeing over the rail.
- Oh, this is the, and fucking on the lawn chairs.
- Yes.
- Like insane.
Yeah, like, oh, oh, maybe we shouldn't have done an open bar.
- Yeah.
Oh my god.
- But it was making me think, why do cruises have always, always sounded amazing to me?
And you and I used to talk about this many years ago on the show.
- Uh-huh.
- Because I was like, maybe I should just take the kids on a cruise.
Because it feels like it could be like a giant chucky cheese.
Where like, where are they gonna go?
They're like a hand stamp and, you know, kind of, or they stay with like the kids camp or
whatever they get to do.
And then you go to shows.
It always seems great.
And every time I would bring it up to John, he'd be like, hell to the know.
- You're not doing that.
- You're gonna hate it.
- Would I have hated it?
- Well, would I hate it now?
- That's a good, have you, so you've never been in a cruise?
- Never, but, well, okay.
- That's true.
- Not true.
I have been on a booze cruise.
I also did a cruise, but it was a really small thing, because I did stand up on a, they called
it a cruise, but it really wasn't.
I mean, it was like a bunch of old people and me and I was performing and I barely remember
it and it was a very small, there was no like casino on, like, or stores or, it was really
small.
- Yeah.
- Well, okay, when I first started dating Adam and Jimmy and Gina were married and they
were like, they loved crookling on cruises and I've never been on a cruise and Adam hasn't,
I don't think he's been on a cruise and I mean, this was like 90, I don't know, in the
like late 90s, early 2000s.
I remember on that cruise, they were talking about doing a show for men.
They were developing the man's show.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm, on that cruise.
So it was one of those like three days.
- Three days.
- You weren't with them, huh?
- You were you with them?
- Oh yeah, it was Gina and Jimmy, me and Adam.
- Okay.
- So the four of us, what kind of cruise was it like a North-
- It was a gin, carnival.
- Carnival.
- Three day Mexico, like, you know, it's a, you get off.
It was a three day thing and it was New Year's Eve.
It was, we went for New Year's Eve.
- Interesting.
- Yeah.
- And my dad flipped out because my dad never wanted me to go to Mexico.
You're not allowed to go to Mexico.
You know, you can get arrested and thrown in jail and I can,
nothing I can do about it.
Or, you know, with their cartel, like he just, just never wanted me to go to Mexico.
- So locked up abroad.
- I know, right?
So now, okay, I get it when I'm a kid and all my friends are going to Rosarita.
My dad doesn't want me to go.
But now, I'm in my 20s and I'm, you know, with my boyfriend, you know, and his couple,
another couple.
And I remember him calling and leaving.
Because I didn't tell him it was going to Mexico and he found out and he called me on the
cruise.
Like, how dare you not tell me?
- Oh my God.
- I know.
Okay, that's my crazy dad, Dick Paradise.
But anyway, so yes, it was a three day cruise and Jimmy and Gina were all into it.
Like you're going to love the food and Jimmy's a foodie.
He's like, you're going to love the food.
Everything's all inclusive.
And then I'm trying to picture Jimmy Kimmel, like loving cruise food.
- Right.
- Must be good then.
- But see, the way him and Gina were kind of like, like they would go on these vacations
together and treat the kids when the kids were little and, you know, they were, they've
done it.
We were just dating.
- So did they have kids at this point?
- Yeah, they had little kids.
- Did they bring the kids on the cruise?
- No, they did it.
- Okay.
- No.
- Okay.
- But they have done cruises with their kids as a family, stuff like that.
And so, you know, this was just, and I remember Gina going, I've never had a massage
before.
And she's like, you've never had a massage.
We are booking a massage and then they booked it for all four of us.
And I have pictures of us in this like spa on the cruise.
And Adam and Jimmy were inseparable.
They were like in love with each other at this time.
And there's pictures of them in their towels, getting a manicure and pedicure.
And there's like a mask on their face, you know?
And then Gina and I are, you get it?
And I got a massage.
I was like, oh my God, that's great, you know?
And then we went out to dinner and of course Adam complained about the food, I think.
He was like, I don't know, he had something to complain about.
And then they had this, they didn't have a casino, but they had like dancing.
Oh, and then they had stand up.
And we went and watched, you know, stand up.
Of course Adam and Jimmy were like, oh, go on.
You know, doing their like critique, you know, under their breath.
And I remember, and then Gina would get drunk and like talk to other people.
I mean, where are you from?
You know?
And then Jimmy would be like, all right, all right.
It was just, it was the first time me getting to know Jimmy and Gina.
Like, I didn't know them that well.
And then they had this like picture area where you can like take a picture with your love
like you, it's like, you know, your husband and wife and they take a picture and they frame
it.
And it's really cute and romantic.
And there's a picture we have of Adam and Jimmy with their arms around each other,
like in a romantic pose in the picture.
Like, you know, they were just, it was kind of like a goofy thing that they did.
But it was, it was fine.
It was fun.
I don't remember it being like that great because I don't think it was very expensive.
I think it was pretty cheap.
So you've never been on one again?
I don't think I have no, like these big Disney cruises that you see with these giant ships.
No, I've never been on a cruise.
I say all of this because I've been listening to a podcast about the Titanic.
Yeah.
Which, you know, seemed ginormous.
Right.
Making me think about cruises and then pooped cruise.
Right.
But I'm like, there's a lot of like cruise stuff and I can't believe I've just never, and
the guy who fell off it is the, saved his daughter.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
How the kid fight fall off?
I don't know.
But I keep seeing articles that are like, he wasn't holding his kid on the railing.
Oh, I don't know how the kid fell off, but like, wow, he jumped in after his kid.
I would have done that.
Oh my God.
I would have too.
Yeah.
But like, yeah.
And they, any saved her.
He saved her.
That was amazing.
But yeah, you do hear these horror stories, but then you hear these great stories.
Like, I have a friend who goes on a cruise every for Thanksgiving.
His mom buys it for him and his family and his siblings and they, they love it.
But they're like, I don't know.
I think they're, I think if the more expensive it is, the better it is, then there's like
the more cheaper cruises that, you know, it's like, there's a lot of riff-ratt people getting
drunk, you know, not for kids.
Then there's a family.
I don't know.
I wouldn't mind trying like a nice cruise again someday, maybe.
My, my concern is that it's going to be a lot of people.
It's like going to be like, I've heard, I have never been to Club Med, but I've heard lots
of games, lots of like come to this area, lots of like join.
Yeah.
We're doing group this and a lot of people yelling about like, come on, everybody.
Right.
Do this game where you have to say something with ice in your mouth or like, is there a lot
of that?
Because I would, you know, it's so funny.
Now that I'm just now thinking about it, we're talking about cruises, Gina with her new
boyfriend, like a year ago, they were planning with another couple to go on a cruise.
Gina loves these cruises to Alaska.
And they've done it before and they say the cruise to Alaska is like once in a lifetime.
It's breathtaking.
It's gorgeous.
It's really nice.
The cruise is nice.
It's not like GAMEY.
They do have a casino.
You can, you know, do whatever you want, but it depends, I think, on the cruise.
So the other couple dropped out and Wendy's always wanted to go on a cruise to Alaska.
So she's like, you and Wendy should come, but we never ended up going.
But.
Yeah.
I was close to going.
I was open to going in the clues, but a year, you know, if he and John and I would do that.
That would be nice by ourselves.
Yeah.
Would you want to go to Alaska?
That's what it's kind of cool.
It is.
You know, you see whales and you see moose and, um, I don't know, salmon.
I don't know.
Oh my God.
Postcard to LB and Sadie and Zander.
We saw a moose today.
But bigger news than that.
We saw a salmon on our plate at dinner, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
They say it's a, it's really a beautiful thing to do.
You should do it.
Maybe I will.
I don't know.
I feel like people are going to write to us and be like, either do it.
It's so great.
Don't ever do it.
You're going to hate it.
Well, I see, I think it's, it's a 50, 50 thing.
Well, that's the joy of having done this podcast so long that people know our personalities.
Right.
Yeah.
Like knowing you, you'll have fun.
Yeah.
Or knowing you.
This is not for you.
For you, Stephanie, the one thing too is that the rooms are really small and you kind of
are like kind of next to other, you know, but you, you know, you have your own space.
But it's like, it's not like a hotel.
Right.
You know, the, yeah.
But, um, but I think for you, it depends on what you're not going to like a cruise to
and Sonata.
No, but maybe, you know, Alaska would be good or like in the Bahamas.
I don't know.
Or like European cruise.
Yes.
That's one I would like to do.
And I think Gina's done those.
She loves those.
She loves cruises.
Yeah.
I think there is a certain type of person that does love a cruise.
That's love a cruise.
And then there's another type of person who gets on there and immediately is like, oh
God, what have I got myself into?
Yeah.
And then when I was a kid and watched the loveboat, I was always like, that seems like
the greatest time ever.
Right.
But there's not a lot of like view of inside the room.
Right.
And like, you know, there's Julie who's like the tour cruise director.
Yes.
Yeah.
Look, she makes it seem kind of more fun.
Yeah.
And you want to be on a cruise with like, you know, uh, Barbie Benton and, you know, Tom
Selik and, right.
You look fun.
Right.
You know, and I feel like I'd go on a cruise and it would be.
All like super old people.
No.
Also would it be, would the whole cruise be like eating at Benihana where you're just?
No.
Absolutely at a table with people you don't know.
That's, that's what, well, there was a, I remember there was a buffet like in the morning.
So every morning we go to their buffet and the whole spread.
And then there was it, you know, there was like restaurants.
I think there was like two or three restaurants.
Mm-hmm.
So you can like get a booth and stuff.
I think it just depends on the, I feel like we're doing an episode for cruises or not
for cruises.
We'll remember back in the day we were like, we should do a cruise, the for crying out
out cruise, but we were going to have to piggyback that on that and Kurola cruise.
All right.
That's right.
We should do it for crying out.
Our princess cruise.
Yes.
Wouldn't that be fun?
I mean, we could do it.
We could do it.
F-C-L-L cruise.
It would be a small gang of us, but we could probably get some discounted rate.
Yeah.
Why not?
It would be fun.
It would.
We'll make it for, well, it'll be free, but only for the $25.00 and up level of hatred.
Somehow that's what we think.
We're just like, listen, we've got these people.
Can you give us just free?
Right.
They pay $25 a month, so.
Yeah.
And up.
Yeah.
And well, you know, the other thing about cruises, that's nice is everything is all inclusive,
you know?
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, we should think about it.
So am I going to be mad that like, I don't drink, but you know, I could have all the alcohol
I want.
No, that's, well, if I don't drink, you have to probably walk around with like an alcoholic
who's banned.
Right.
It's like, don't give this woman any alcohol.
She did not pay for it and she's not supposed to have it trust me.
Yes.
Trust me.
Don't give her any drinks.
Yeah.
And let's do our ads.
You know what?
Speaking of things that make you feel good.
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Mm-hmm.
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There's one that Wendy and I like that was.
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Like, I forgot what that one's called.
It's in the orange bottle.
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That's the one that John really, really likes.
I love that.
I need to get, I need more.
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That's neutrophole.com promo code F.C.O.L. Boom. Boom. So, um, Los Angeles. Yes. Ice
trades. Mm-hmm. They've gone crazy. And scary. It's been kidnapping people off the street.
So really scary. So really scary time every day. I wake up and I'm just like, I know people that
don't want to go to work. They're afraid. Oh, I know. Mm-hmm. A lot of people. Mm-hmm. And, you know,
we're not a political show, but this is pretty bullshit. And we're trying to, I have a friend
who is like, she is the most do-good-er. She's my friend. Her name is Janey Tathwilson.
She didn't have a set of drunkish. Yeah. Um, that was really good if you ever want to visit that one.
Because she's the thing about Jane is she's like the good kind of Christian. Uh-huh. No offense to
the bad Christians. You know who you are. No. Um, no. She's a Christian. She's like religious, but she
goes to, but she's spiritual Christian, but she believes in like being a do-good-er. Yeah.
Fighting for justice, you know? And she's just endless energy to do good stuff. And she's always like,
she makes these voter guides and she's the one who I just do whatever Jane tells me to do. That's
how I live my life. Yeah. She's like, listen, we got to do postcard parties. Like, right, my house,
I'll also love the. I love the. And then she's like, you want to have, and then I'll be like, well,
I could do some postcard parties. We like, great. You want to do it at your house and I'll be like,
oh, okay. And then all she's like, yeah, okay. Every week, Stephanie's house. And then all of a sudden,
I have like a house full of people. Yeah. I like to be the worker bee. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
That's what fires were going on. It's like just tell me where to go. What to do. Right. Yeah. Right.
She knows everybody. She's got this huge network. So she used to do stand-up. She's also like,
done a lot of acting, character actress type. But she's her heart. She's just got the most empathy.
And she's the person who will like, if I says kidnap somebody, she will go track them down.
Like, like, she's very, very hands on. That's amazing. So she came up with this project
that I cannot say really what it is. But um, to help. And I got to tell you,
you chipped in some money. So many people, I put this on my own Facebook wall. So many people
came together and they're like, how can I help? Let me give you money. It involves, I just went to
Costco this morning. And I was going to tell you, this is just a little by the way. Yeah. Little
side story. So I was going to Costco to get some stuff. Right. For this project. Yes. And I decided,
I don't know what I was thinking, Lynette. I went to Costco on a Sunday afternoon. Oh geez. Which
apparently, I mean, it was like, arm of fucking Gedan. I especially on a Fourth of July weekend.
Oh, Fourth of July weekend. I've never seen anything like it. But I would thought my thinking was,
and I feel like somebody told, at some point somebody said, it's better on the weekends because there's
more cashier's working. So the lines are, I don't know. I go like on a Wednesday at 10 a.m.
It's terrible information. Yeah. But I was like, got bad intel. Oh god. I got bad intel. So I get there,
the parking lot is like trying to leave a concert, you know, when there's cars in front of you
and behind you. So all I could do was park because I did eventually find a parking spot. And it was
honestly easier to park than to try to get out at that point, right? Because, you know, it was like,
save yourself, like pull out from this crowd in park. So I park, I go in there. First of all,
they act like it's some kind of like studio 54 with the fact that you got to scan your card
on the way in. But then you also scan your card in line. Right. Because if you're going to be like,
it's if it's like fake ID where you're going to be like, here, use my card, get in. Yeah. Then we'll buy
some stuff. No, right. It's like, all right. I'm not in your shopping. If I'm not going to be able to
scan my card when I have my groceries. Yes. What do they think that people are going to be like,
Oh, wait, they're going to go shopping and then they're going to get to the end of the line and
they're going to go, can I have your card and you're going to go card? I thought I was at Rolf's.
Right. Come on. Come on. And then also the receipt on the way out. Oh yes. Because I'm always
grabbing the receipt and like shoving it somewhere and then I can go find it again. I forget, you know,
right. Also, why create a situation where there's a million different ways that you're going to
have to stand in line because you got a stand in line to go in the store and scan your card.
Uh-huh. Then you got a stand in line to take. Then you got a stand in line to show your receipt.
Right. Exactly. So what is going on with that? Who are these people?
So I get in there and I was like, I have never seen anything more scary in my entire life.
The lines for the cash rate, like, I see it right away. Right.
Right. It's like 30 deep of carts. I turn around if it's like that. So I was like,
well, I was here. I had my shopping list. But then I just had to think about it and go,
is there really anything I can't just come back and buy tomorrow? This was yesterday. Yeah.
So I was like, I should just come tomorrow at like 10 a.m. Right. Because we knew we were recording
in the afternoon today. So I just bailed. I went home. I didn't buy a thing. Obviously, I go home.
I say to John, I feel like you're the one who gave me this information. How come you didn't stop me?
You knew what I was doing. You knew what was going to happen to me. And he was like, well,
you were dead set. I'm going to Costco on a Sunday. And I was like, no, I wasn't. Nobody talks
sense into me. Right. And then he was like, yeah, it's much better like on a weekday in the morning.
I'm going to kill somebody right now. He does John does most of our Costco runs. So I was like,
I can't believe you just watched me leave. Yeah. Wow. I barely go to Costco. I mean, I go there like
once every two or three months, like paper towels and toilet paper stock up. Right. But I have to go
like during the day. And the other thing is they don't take amics. They only take visa.
You know, right? Yeah. Or a debit card. Yeah. That is true. Right. But so I went back this morning
at 10 when they opened and it was like, it was like a spa day. You know, it was like, there's
like peaceful music playing. I don't know if there was music playing, but it was like,
I'm sure it was like a pleasure. I went and grabbed everything I need. I was in line behind one
cart. Yeah. I paid. And I was I asked the cashier. I was like, were you here yesterday? And she goes,
yeah. And oh, and I was on the phone with my friend when I got into the store. I was like, I'm in
Costco. And this lady with standing next to me goes, it's a zoo like that. I go, yeah, she's,
it's a, it's really bad. So I asked the lady. I was like, is it normally like that on the weekends?
And she goes, pretty much Sundays are really bad. Yeah. They are. She was like, but it was,
we were short staffed because of the holiday weekend. Oh, God. Oh, boy. Yeah. So that was terrible.
You know that people make a lot of money at Costco that work. I hear that. Yeah. I have a friend that's
been working at Costco for like four years. Really? Right at high school makes a lot of money.
It's like a manager there. Yeah. But anyway, I think it does pay pretty well. So anyway,
yeah, I got this stuff I needed and we're doing this project. And I will just say that I bought a
lot of Coca Cola. Okay. Yeah. But I want it also help like we can talk off air. But yeah.
So it's like, but I'm secret. Yeah. I can't really say what we're doing. But we're doing something
every week to help people that are in danger. I love it. Kidnuffed. That's so amazing. That's
awesome. That's all I can really say because these people are, it's terrible. It's it is. It's
scary. They're just grabbing people and not people who have committed crimes. I know.
I don't care. They're just trying to find people who aren't documented. Right. And you know,
it and again, like I know people that are afraid to go to work and it is scary. And we have to do,
you know, something it's regardless of what your politics are. This is like a humanitarian issue.
Right. There's people are eating people from their kids. People are suffering. People are scared.
And a lot of people want to say like, well, then you shouldn't come here or you should do it legally.
Well, that's really difficult. And also a lot of people that are here are trying to be
legal. Right. And they're going and capturing them at their court hearings. Right. Yeah.
You know, to they're trying to do the right thing. Right. But a lot of people are trying to flee
a really bad life. They're risking their lives to bring their kids for a better life. And, you know,
it's just right. The way we're handling things. Yes. And I like that of those people are hard working
people. And they, you know, they want to contribute. So yeah, I love what you're doing, Stephanie.
And I want to talk to you out there. Yeah. Okay. And anyway, I just wanted to put it out there that
thank you to everybody who sent me money. It is, I promise you going to good use. And I'm sharing it
also with Jane. And we're, this is like now that so many people made donations instead of every other
week. We're doing every week. So every Thursday we're going to be doing this project.
That's amazing. Also, please listen to drunkish. Yes. Because it is my pet project. I really want
it to go well in case you didn't listen this week. I had a woman named Kelly, Kittly. And she
has done a lot of like media around. She's been sober for a long time. She's got four kids. She's
a social worker. And we just had a really interesting, we did two episodes. So our first episode was just
an interview about her life and how and her getting sober. And she's from like an Irish family.
And then episode two was basically which shit could be good for your friend of yours to listen to.
About like, how do you know if you have a drinking problem? And if you do think you have a drinking
problem, like what should you do? Right. And how to recognize it in yourself. And like, yeah,
what steps you could take. That's really interesting. And that's the our date. That's the day two. So that
one came out on your list on Friday. That came out on Wednesday. So Tuesday episode and a Wednesday
episode. Yes. And you're doing really, I mean, I see videos all the time on social media. Your clips.
Pushing out the clips. Yeah. Looks good. Yeah. Thank you. So let's say how do our friends, though? We
got um, Christa, you make me want to strew Christa, but Ashley is so chic and Stephanie is a stinker
and Athena. We love your dancing and Sandra. It's not easy being green. Jennifer, get up, get up.
Aaron is a dirty Sanchez. Leslie is coughing, which you're not anymore. Thank God. Alicia,
love you. Kelly, brand. Yeah. She's got she'll take it to play on parenthood. We'll throw a diaper on.
Rebecca, no one is so cute. You Sean. We love you. We love you. You know why?
Missy and Gabby, good people. Uh, Katarina, don't sleep on that molar. No, an exam.
Gonna swell up. Valerie, Bubba Finwick, Paulie, we love your pancakes. Rida is rocking that
bassinet with all of Elizabeth Williamson's kids. Nikki, call your girl. Kelly, lie to you, duh.
Dick is probably getting and get a car from Adam. Adam's got a car. Adam's got a car.
He will hook you up. It's my boy. He hooked Lynette up. He hooked Robin up. He hooked Natalia up.
He's hooking me up right now. He takes all the pain out of getting a car. Oh, man. It's so easy.
And saves you so much money. Go talk, just go talk to him. All right. So wealth of information.
Thanks everybody. You're the only one who's done it now. Don't eff it up.
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