1
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So we're not just gonna play any boring old dating game that you've seen before.

2
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We're going to play a PNW, cryptid dating game.

3
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,040
Happy Valentine's Day!

4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,040
You're gonna be so fun.

5
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,040
You're gonna be so fun.

6
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,040
I mean, I'm so happy at the end, I promise.

7
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,040
Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending.

8
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,040
That might sound wrong, but anyway.

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00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,040
Hi!

10
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,040
Hi!

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Hi, Caitlyn!

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00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,040
Hi, Cassie!

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Hi, creepy people!

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00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,040
Hello!

15
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It's me!

16
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And me!

17
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And Caitlyn.

18
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Yeah.

19
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But also me, I'm back!

20
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Yay!

21
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I have an episode for you guys, because Caitlyn just tried to hog up two episodes.

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00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,040
Yeah.

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00:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,840
We all know how we feel about Caitlyn's episodes.

24
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It's some real Leo energy up in here.

25
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No, we love her.

26
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She does good work, but it's time for a break, because, oh, this is PNW Haunts and Homicides.

27
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Oh, shit.

28
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Yeah.

29
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Sorry, guys.

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00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,120
In case you didn't know, PNW stands for Pacific Northwest.

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So we primarily cover cases based in the Pacific Northwest.

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Yeah.

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In case you didn't know.

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Now you know.

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Now you know.

36
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,880
The more you know.

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00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,200
But it's time for a little fun.

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Because it's Valentine's Day.

39
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Ah!

40
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Even if you don't celebrate it, I think you're going to really enjoy this episode.

41
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It is a little theme-y.

42
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But it's fun.

43
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I'm on board.

44
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She was so on board.

45
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,880
She was on board as soon.

46
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The moment I mentioned it, she was like, yes.

47
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She was doing it.

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I really, really, really got on board.

49
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She did.

50
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,040
She had all these crazy ideas that just weren't going to work out.

51
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That's maybe next time.

52
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,040
Maybe next time.

53
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Maybe next time.

54
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,040
Maybe next time.

55
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,920
But she lit the fire in her butt, and I went and did a thing.

56
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So we're going to have some fun today.

57
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,480
This is all make-believe.

58
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This is all fun and games.

59
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This isn't real.

60
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Just so everyone's clear.

61
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It's real.

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I'll probably say it again later on when you'll know what I'm talking about.

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So.

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It's real.

65
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,280
I wouldn't say that.

66
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,200
So today we're going to play a little game.

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We're going to play a little dating game.

68
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Like- oh, okay, a dating game.

69
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Not like a-

70
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,360
Would you like to play a game?

71
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,960
No, not like a saw game.

72
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It's not a scary episode.

73
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Okay.

74
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,680
But we're going to play a little dating game.

75
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,400
Unfortunately, we didn't really know any single people.

76
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So we're just going to sub in Caitlyn.

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Okay.

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Disclaimer.

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Caitlin is not single.

80
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Like at all.

81
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Period.

82
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End of story.

83
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,080
We're just having fun.

84
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So please, no one's light into her DMs.

85
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,720
And Chris, don't hate me.

86
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,720
Look at that.

87
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,640
Oh, she's super protective of me.

88
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Just looking out.

89
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,040
You know, I don't want-

90
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I don't want anyone to get too excited that you're on the market.

91
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,480
Oh, yeah.

92
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,200
I'm sure they're clamoring at the-

93
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All of the places.

94
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We had some-

95
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,720
We had some people clamoring.

96
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,560
Oh, boy.

97
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,960
Wait, this is news to me.

98
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,360
I don't know if I'll call them people, but we'll get into it.

99
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,400
Oh, boy.

100
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,360
Okay.

101
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,880
So we're not just going to play any boring old dating game

102
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that you've seen before.

103
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,520
We're going to play a PNW.

104
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,440
Cryptid Dating Game.

105
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,360
Yeah.

106
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Don't act surprised.

107
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You already knew.

108
00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:00,600
Well, I was a little bit unsure as to whether or not it was going to happen.

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It's happening, baby.

110
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Happy Valentine's Day.

111
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,480
It's still in my life.

112
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You're going to get so fun.

113
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You're going to get so fun at the end, I promise.

114
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,640
Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending.

115
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,320
That might sound wrong, but anyway.

116
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:24,240
So the definition of cryptid in case anyone doesn't know is an animal, such as Sasquatch or the

117
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Lochness monster that has been claimed to exist but never proven to exist.

118
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Okay.

119
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Okay.

120
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,360
So just so we're all clear what the definition of cryptid is.

121
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Just keep that rattling around back there.

122
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Mm-hmm.

123
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,200
Welcome to PNW.

124
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Cryptid Dating Game.

125
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Caitlyn, come on down.

126
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,320
How was that for my game announcer voice?

127
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I love it.

128
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,560
You're channeling some Bob Barker.

129
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Something.

130
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Caitlyn's something.

131
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I will not do that the whole time I promised, but maybe one more time.

132
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:15,040
Caitlyn is a fun, sassy, sexy single looking for her perfect cryptid match.

133
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,040
Ooh.

134
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040
Okay, I'm done.

135
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,040
That was it.

136
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,800
I liked it.

137
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:25,320
So I'm not going to tell Caitlyn or anyone who the elusive bachelors are.

138
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,400
So we're going to have three rounds and we will get to know our four elusive bachelors.

139
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Ooh.

140
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:36,480
Let me tell you, tracking these guys down for questioning was not easy, but once I started

141
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,720
a float, Caitlyn's photo around.

142
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,720
I had them.

143
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,680
It's the one on the fridge, you know what I was going to say.

144
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,320
How old is this photo?

145
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:53,560
And at the end, Caitlyn will pick which one she thinks would fit her best.

146
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,560
Who am I?

147
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Yeah.

148
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,080
Who are cryptid mans.

149
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,280
Match man's is.

150
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:04,080
Again, this is all make believe.

151
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,080
Okay.

152
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,840
I mean, it's real.

153
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,680
You're going to have a cryptid in your bed.

154
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,560
Watch out, Chris.

155
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:19,200
So we'll still do the tarot read at the end and it will be for whoever she picks what his

156
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:26,200
intentions are with her with my daughter with my daughter with my adult daughter.

157
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,320
So that's how we'll do that.

158
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,320
Okay.

159
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,520
So I get a little bit of a reading on this love man.

160
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,520
Yeah, exactly.

161
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,520
Okay.

162
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,520
Are you excited?

163
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,520
I'm so excited.

164
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,520
Okay.

165
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,560
And one, here we go.

166
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:48,160
Each bachelor answered seven identical questions and one random question to keep things interesting.

167
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:53,680
Oh, all of the questions and things I'm going to talk about in the rounds are all clues

168
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,800
to who these cryptids might be.

169
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,800
That makes sense.

170
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,800
Okay.

171
00:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,800
Okay.

172
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,080
So bachelor number one, first question.

173
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,160
What is your biggest insecurity?

174
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,440
And he says kissing can be quite a challenge.

175
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,440
Oh.

176
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,440
Okay.

177
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,440
Yeah.

178
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,280
Not really sure what that means, but me either take that how you want.

179
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,280
Okay.

180
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,960
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

181
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,920
And he says black, which I say same.

182
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:23,920
Okay.

183
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920
I say same.

184
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:25,920
Alendable.

185
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,880
I just have this debate with somebody the other day because they were asking me my favorite

186
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,400
color and I couldn't pick.

187
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,200
So I just say black because that's like all the colors together, right?

188
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,440
Oh, that's very true.

189
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,440
Yeah.

190
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,440
Okay.

191
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,440
That's a thinker.

192
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,000
Maybe we have something in common.

193
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,320
Maybe I should be on the stating.

194
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,320
I know.

195
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,640
Come on.

196
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,600
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

197
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,120
He says fire.

198
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,120
Okay.

199
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,680
I mean, I'm not sure that we're compatible then.

200
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,680
That's true.

201
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,680
That's true.

202
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680
Okay.

203
00:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,680
All right.

204
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,800
The fourth question is a fun one.

205
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,920
What is your favorite sexual position?

206
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,240
Who says missionary?

207
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,240
Okay.

208
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,240
Okay.

209
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,240
We'll have vanilla.

210
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,240
We'll have vanilla.

211
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,240
But that's okay.

212
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,240
All right.

213
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,240
You do you.

214
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,840
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

215
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,520
He says abuffee.

216
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:23,480
It's the easiest way to keep him in cheap date because he has a rather large appetite.

217
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,480
Okay.

218
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,760
So does that mean he assumes that you're paying?

219
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,720
I maybe.

220
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,120
It sounds like that's a possibility.

221
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,040
It's calling himself a cheap date.

222
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,040
Eh-huh.

223
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,040
Uh-huh.

224
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,040
Listen, call yourself whatever you want.

225
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,720
Don't call me a cheap date.

226
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,560
That's how do you feel about the phase?

227
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560
Um.

228
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,560
Yeah.

229
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:53,000
I mean, I feel like I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on, I mean, how much time do we

230
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
have?

231
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000
Probably not that much.

232
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000
Not that much.

233
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000
Okay.

234
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000
Okay.

235
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,000
I'm surprised you're not taking notes on these guys.

236
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000
Well, I thought about it.

237
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,680
But then I was like, is that cheating?

238
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:02,680
I don't think it's cheating.

239
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,680
It's cheating.

240
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:04,680
Okay.

241
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,680
I mean, if you really want to, I mean, I'm going to.

242
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,680
She's taking notes.

243
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,680
Oh, no.

244
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,680
I don't know if I'm right.

245
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:10,680
Where's the notebook?

246
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,680
Okay.

247
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,680
Hold on.

248
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,680
Continue way.

249
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,480
Question number six, what is your best quality?

250
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,040
Oh, you might like this one, Caitlin.

251
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,720
He says protective like a bodyguard.

252
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,720
Okay.

253
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,720
Okay.

254
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,400
So that sounds pretty good.

255
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,640
That might make up for some other things.

256
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,560
I mean, it would have to.

257
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,560
It would have to.

258
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,560
Okay.

259
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:39,080
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

260
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,080
Ooh.

261
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,880
He says oversized fluffy sweaters.

262
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,280
Oh, that is so pure.

263
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,280
Okay.

264
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,280
All right.

265
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,000
And question number eight is kind of the rotating random question.

266
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,240
It is, what is your favorite scent?

267
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,560
And he says burnt trees.

268
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,560
Huh.

269
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,840
Do you have any guesses on who this is?

270
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:05,840
No.

271
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:06,840
No, I don't.

272
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840
Actually.

273
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:08,840
Actually.

274
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,840
All right.

275
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,840
Are you ready for bachelor number two?

276
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:12,840
Yes.

277
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:13,840
I think.

278
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,840
You are.

279
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,840
Okay.

280
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,840
Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

281
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,680
Bachelor number two says that people think he's a myth.

282
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:24,680
Okay.

283
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:25,680
Okay.

284
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:30,680
I'm sure that's pretty common amongst the cryptid society.

285
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:31,680
You know?

286
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,680
Yeah.

287
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,680
Okay.

288
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:34,680
Yeah.

289
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,720
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

290
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,680
He says anything shiny.

291
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680
Okay.

292
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,680
I mean, same.

293
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,960
Who does he think he is?

294
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,280
The crab from Moana.

295
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,280
Shiny.

296
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:51,200
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

297
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,840
And he says salt.

298
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,840
Salt.

299
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,840
Okay.

300
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,000
Which, that's kind of interesting.

301
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Huh.

302
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000
Okay.

303
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000
Huh.

304
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Huh.

305
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000
Huh.

306
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,840
Number four, the good question.

307
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,280
What is your favorite sexual position?

308
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:15,600
He says the submarine, which I don't encourage anyone to Google.

309
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,840
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

310
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,840
He says a day on the lake.

311
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,840
Uh-huh.

312
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,840
Yeah.

313
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,840
Sweet.

314
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,440
You're going to, are there submarines in this lake?

315
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,240
You know, here's the thing.

316
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,320
This guy's clearly got a thing with water.

317
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,320
Clearly.

318
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,320
Okay.

319
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,320
Clearly.

320
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,760
Question number six, what is your best quality?

321
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,120
He says I'm a strong swimmer.

322
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,120
Uh-huh.

323
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,120
Yeah.

324
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,120
Okay.

325
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,120
All right.

326
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040
So I think you nailed the water, the water part.

327
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,040
Yeah.

328
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,240
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

329
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,240
He says small animals.

330
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,320
Oh, see, he's got some good qualities.

331
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,280
But I feel like I want to know why.

332
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:09,360
Well, he goes on to say they feel so good, they smell so good and they, okay, well, things

333
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,840
get weird here and I think we're just going to sweat a lot.

334
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,840
Okay.

335
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:14,840
The small animals.

336
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:15,840
Okay.

337
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,080
Question number eight, what is your biggest pet peeve?

338
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:25,280
He says when someone is immortalized for no reason and has nothing of value to offer in return,

339
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,560
wow, I feel like we hit a nerve.

340
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,560
Okay.

341
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,720
Yeah.

342
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,720
Someone is sensitive.

343
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:36,560
Yeah, that's a real, um, how do I put this nicely?

344
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,000
Oh, wait, I don't care.

345
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,160
Um, that's a real in-sell vibe.

346
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,160
Yeah.

347
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,160
I feel like.

348
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,160
Interesting.

349
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,160
Yeah.

350
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160
Okay.

351
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,680
Are you ready to move on to bachelor number three?

352
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,920
I mean, we probably should.

353
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,000
Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

354
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,600
He says people often mistake him for someone else.

355
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,600
Oh.

356
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:04,080
Well, you know what happens to the best of us?

357
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,320
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

358
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,320
He says blue.

359
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,320
Okay.

360
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,320
Oh, like that.

361
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,840
Oh, like blue.

362
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,720
What's your favorite color, Caitlin?

363
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,240
I think probably gray or black.

364
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,240
Okay.

365
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240
Or rose gold.

366
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,240
Yeah.

367
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,240
Or rose gold.

368
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,240
See, it's hard to choose.

369
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,240
Yeah.

370
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,240
I can't choose.

371
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,360
I don't know.

372
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,400
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

373
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,680
He says bright lights and crowds.

374
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,680
And I say preach.

375
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,680
Same.

376
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:36,200
Question number four, what is your favorite sexual position?

377
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,680
Are we ready for this one?

378
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,160
I mean, probably not, but let's do it.

379
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,760
He says anything on the inversion table, baby.

380
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,880
I don't really know what to put in my notes here.

381
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,200
He likes to be upside down.

382
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200
Okay.

383
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,200
So, um, all right.

384
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120
I don't think that that's that kinky.

385
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,120
That's no submarine.

386
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,120
Let me tell you.

387
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,120
That's not a kink.

388
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,120
That's a great move.

389
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120
Ooh.

390
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,120
Against humanity.

391
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,120
Yeah.

392
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,440
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

393
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,960
He says flying out of town for dinner.

394
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:08,960
Okay.

395
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:09,960
Okay.

396
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,960
Christian gray.

397
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:11,960
Right.

398
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,720
Maybe he has a little kinky.

399
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,120
Question number six, what is your best quality?

400
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,000
He says his eyes.

401
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,520
They're big and bright.

402
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,960
You could even say they glow.

403
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,960
Okay.

404
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,960
Interesting.

405
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,440
Sounds nice though.

406
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,280
Big, bright glowing eyes could be quite striking.

407
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,040
The way you say that, I feel like that's pointed.

408
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,280
I'm not saying it.

409
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:44,320
I have no biased towards any of these bachelors.

410
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,320
Okay.

411
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,360
I'm just reading their questions.

412
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,280
They answered them.

413
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,680
They made them up, not me.

414
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,160
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

415
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,760
He said some rad 80s vibes.

416
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,560
I like this guy.

417
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,560
Okay.

418
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,000
Well, I'm going to be setting you up.

419
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Yeah.

420
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Maybe I can get his number.

421
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,440
If you don't pick him.

422
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,320
Okay.

423
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,320
Question number eight, are you a knight owl or an early bird?

424
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,320
Hmm.

425
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,320
He says neither.

426
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,320
But I do prefer the knight.

427
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,320
Okay.

428
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,880
So, um.

429
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:31,880
So like tell me you don't know how to answer questions without telling me.

430
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,680
I mean, maybe there's something in there.

431
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,320
Maybe it's some sort of clue.

432
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:40,120
Yeah, that's what I gather, but I gathered very little.

433
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,120
I don't know.

434
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,080
Let's move on to Bachelor number four.

435
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,640
Our final bachelor.

436
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,880
Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

437
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,160
He says nothing.

438
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,160
Okay.

439
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160
I see you.

440
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160
I see you.

441
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,160
An interesting start.

442
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,160
Okay.

443
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,160
All right.

444
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,160
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

445
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,160
He says orange.

446
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,160
It's nice color.

447
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,160
I like orange.

448
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,200
I'm getting a real fuck boy vibe here.

449
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,080
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

450
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,400
He says becoming irrelevant.

451
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,400
Okay.

452
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,400
Yeah.

453
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,360
I stand by my previous statement.

454
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,840
Ready for question number four?

455
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,840
I mean, sure.

456
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,760
What is your favorite sexual position?

457
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,040
He says cowgirl.

458
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,040
Uh-huh.

459
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,040
Yeah.

460
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040
Called that one.

461
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,040
Okay.

462
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,200
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

463
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,680
He says something adventurous like white water rafting.

464
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,680
Huh.

465
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,680
Okay.

466
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,280
Question number six, what is your best quality?

467
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,080
He says there's a beer named after me.

468
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,040
I don't know if that's your quality, bro.

469
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,040
But okay.

470
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,040
Okay.

471
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,040
Okay.

472
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,560
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

473
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,080
He says ultra long scarves.

474
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,080
Okay.

475
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,080
Okay.

476
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,080
All right.

477
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,080
Listen.

478
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:05,600
Listen, I'm really trying to take detailed notes.

479
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,480
This is, I mean, there's a lot of clues.

480
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:14,880
Honestly, this feels like higher stakes than even our last election.

481
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,880
It might be.

482
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:16,880
Yeah.

483
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,880
This is a very important choice.

484
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,880
Ready for the last question?

485
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:21,880
Okay.

486
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:27,840
If asked on a date to a wedding, do you choose the chicken or the fish?

487
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,840
He says fish all day.

488
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,840
Oh, man.

489
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:31,840
Okay.

490
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,840
I'm surprised he didn't say fish.

491
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,840
Bo show.

492
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,840
Okay.

493
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,840
So we've reached round number two.

494
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,840
Okay.

495
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:49,520
So we're going to get to know a little bit about each of our four bachelors from the perspective

496
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,720
of someone who has been close to them.

497
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,720
Bachelor number one.

498
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,680
You ready?

499
00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,640
I had a very, very lovely talk with bachelor number one's mom.

500
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,640
She couldn't figure out how to use the email.

501
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,520
So she had me talk to her on the phone and just like relay the message.

502
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:16,520
So she says my boo boo has an explosive personality, which is funny because we were talking about

503
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,280
boo boo earlier.

504
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,200
You don't even know bachelor number one's mom.

505
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,200
So that's correct.

506
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,200
I do.

507
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,360
Boo boo theme is just natural.

508
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,360
Okay.

509
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,200
She goes on to say, oh, he's going to hate me, but I called him Boo Boo in front of everybody,

510
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,000
especially a pretty woman like Caitlin.

511
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Uh oh.

512
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,120
Anyway, I think he could really use a lady in his life.

513
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:47,280
I always try to get him to stand top of the moisturizing, but he just doesn't seem to

514
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,440
listen to me.

515
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,280
She she rambled.

516
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,240
Y'all, let me tell you.

517
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,520
She goes on to say, I think if he had a nice lady around to help him lotion his hard to reach

518
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:03,080
areas, you know, I think he would just be a little bit happier.

519
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,080
Okay.

520
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080
Okay.

521
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,480
So he's got some dry skin issues or something.

522
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,160
Okay.

523
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:15,080
And of course to help him keep up with trimming those unruly eyebrows.

524
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,720
Call your mother, boo boo.

525
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,720
Oh boy.

526
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,720
Interesting.

527
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,760
I think that helps Bachelor number one's chances at all.

528
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,240
You know, no, not really.

529
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,320
But if you want his mom's number, she's so nice.

530
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,080
Oh yeah.

531
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,000
Bachelor number two.

532
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000
This is from his ex girlfriend.

533
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,160
She DMed us.

534
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,160
Oh.

535
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,480
So she said, "Augie was sweet, but it just didn't work out.

536
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,720
He had this weird obsession with the Loch Ness Monster.

537
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,880
It was like he was jealous that Nessie got more attention.

538
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,880
Okay.

539
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:55,920
I feel like the nerve that we poked earlier might make a little more sense."

540
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,240
Yeah.

541
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:02,400
She said Nessie had more books, movies, news stories, podcast episodes, and merch.

542
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,200
So much merch.

543
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,240
Plus, there was that incident with my Chihuahua.

544
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240
Okay.

545
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240
Interesting.

546
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240
What happened here?

547
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,240
Chihuahua.

548
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,240
Not a dog per se in her.

549
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,840
I don't know.

550
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,560
He really liked the small animals.

551
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,280
Like probably as a snack, like a little appetizer.

552
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,520
I don't know.

553
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,800
I guess we'll find out.

554
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,800
Okay.

555
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,720
Bachelor number three.

556
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:37,280
Sadly, Bachelor number three doesn't have any close friends or family.

557
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,320
So there was no one to reach out to.

558
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320
But great.

559
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,600
That's sort of a clue on his personality as well.

560
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:49,040
Bachelor number four, your favorite.

561
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,680
This came via text message from his childhood best friend.

562
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,520
I'm going to read the text messages as they came in.

563
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,520
They were all separate.

564
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,520
There's typos.

565
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,520
Oh great.

566
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520
Perfect.

567
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,720
Off to a great start.

568
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,920
The first text, "CC was my BFF growing up the up arrow."

569
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:13,920
Oh great.

570
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920
Okay.

571
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,000
Next, we use two.

572
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,920
The number two, hang over Al, he Tim.

573
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,920
Which, oh okay.

574
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,080
He says duck you, auto correct.

575
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,920
Hang out all the time.

576
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,920
Astrid.

577
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,920
Okay.

578
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:31,920
Great.

579
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,440
Next text message.

580
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:42,480
But FYI, they named some sort of hipster with no e, beer emoji after him.

581
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,480
Okay.

582
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,480
Oh, huh.

583
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,560
Yeah, seems like we've heard about that before.

584
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,560
Interesting.

585
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,560
Yeah.

586
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560
That's a theme.

587
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,560
Okay.

588
00:21:52,560 --> 00:22:01,200
Now he thinks he's too good for everyone, IMO, and a bunch of exclamation points.

589
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,520
That is, that's tough.

590
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,520
He keeps going.

591
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:11,480
SMHWTF is up again, the up arrow, wit, that, and an angry face.

592
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,880
Yeah, that feels like a lot.

593
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,080
It feels like a lot.

594
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,920
And then again, but IDC, which means I don't care, I think.

595
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:20,920
Yeah.

596
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,400
I know, and oh, deep with a lot of ease.

597
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,160
That's a lot.

598
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:33,880
I know deep down, like 180 feet down, every TBT, that's throwback Thursday.

599
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,800
He thinks of doing corkscrews in the Columbia with me.

600
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800
Aww.

601
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:43,400
So this guy seems sweet in the end, maybe you should get his number.

602
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,640
Uh, yeah, we'll see.

603
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,640
Okay.

604
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,040
Sound like there was some clues in there though.

605
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:54,440
I mean, I would, I would think so, but.

606
00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:00,680
Well, are you ready for round number three, because I think you're going to really like

607
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,680
it.

608
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:02,680
Okay.

609
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,680
Yeah.

610
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,680
Okay.

611
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,680
I hope so.

612
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,960
So the bachelor's gave me a little something to give to you.

613
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,960
Oh boy.

614
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,960
Okay.

615
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,200
So this first gift is from bachelor number one.

616
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,800
Oh, it's so cute.

617
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,800
Okay.

618
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,200
Let's see what's in here.

619
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,200
Chocolate.

620
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,200
Oh.

621
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,200
Sorry.

622
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:29,240
I got hungry, but I heard you didn't even like chocolate.

623
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,240
Okay.

624
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:37,240
Okay.

625
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,480
So I mean, you know, it's empty, but he did wrap it.

626
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480
He did.

627
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,480
Yeah.

628
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,480
I mean, the thought is the thought that your count's right?

629
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,480
Okay.

630
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,480
Okay.

631
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,480
This is from bachelor number two.

632
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,480
Okay.

633
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,480
All right.

634
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,480
Oh, is there?

635
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,480
Okay.

636
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,480
Let's see.

637
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,480
All right.

638
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,480
Oh boy.

639
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,480
Oh.

640
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,480
Oh.

641
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,480
Oh.

642
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,480
Oh.

643
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,480
It's too blurry.

644
00:23:59,480 --> 00:23:59,480
How sweet.

645
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,480
It's so pretty.

646
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,480
Right.

647
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,480
That he does.

648
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:09,600
Clearly a very effestive heart, Marty Grobids.

649
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:14,480
It's kind of a two-fer because you could really use these for two different holidays every

650
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,480
year.

651
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,480
Yeah.

652
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,200
Beautiful, beautiful jewelry.

653
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,480
I'm sure if he wasn't on a budget, he would get you something nicer.

654
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:31,480
That's what they all say.

655
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,480
Okay.

656
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,480
From bachelor number three.

657
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,480
A door up all.

658
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,480
I'm scared.

659
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,480
Okay.

660
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,480
Oh.

661
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,480
A charging cord.

662
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,480
It's a phone charger.

663
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,480
Interesting.

664
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,480
Okay.

665
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:44,480
Okay.

666
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,480
A shark.

667
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:46,480
Oh.

668
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,480
That's the line number four's gift.

669
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,480
It's heavy.

670
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,480
That is it.

671
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,480
What is it, Kate?

672
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,480
Later.

673
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,480
Colossal.

674
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,480
Oh.

675
00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,480
Wow.

676
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,480
No, that's cheating.

677
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,480
See.

678
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,480
See.

679
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480
It definitely seems like it.

680
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:12,600
Well, it seems as though we have a little cheater amongst us who just can keep their mouth shut

681
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,600
about themselves.

682
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,600
So.

683
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:20,480
So this is interesting because I feel like this is kind of a giveaway.

684
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480
Yeah.

685
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,480
A little bit.

686
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,480
A little bit because it's spoiler alert.

687
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,480
A can of beer.

688
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,480
Yes.

689
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,480
It is the can of beer.

690
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,480
The can of beer.

691
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,480
The has been mentioned.

692
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,480
That's a close guy.

693
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,480
Colossal.

694
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:33,480
Claude.

695
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,480
Oh.

696
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,480
That's bitch.

697
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,480
Keep believe he did that.

698
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,480
But it says dedicated to fishing stories.

699
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,480
Oh.

700
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,480
Right on the front of this can.

701
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:57,160
The word has it that after years of terrifying sailors and feasting on salmon, he acquired a taste

702
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,760
for hops.

703
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:08,520
So we brewed this imperial IPA with a colossal dose of cascade, shanook, citra and strata hops.

704
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:13,480
In hopes of coaxing, Claude out to join us for a pint.

705
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,480
Oh.

706
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,480
Okay.

707
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:22,600
So this if this is like his profile pick on Tinder, like which way are we swiping?

708
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,600
That's up to you.

709
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,600
Okay.

710
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,600
This is your dating game, baby.

711
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,600
Okay.

712
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,960
Well, I mean, I have some really difficult decisions to make.

713
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,200
I think at this point.

714
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,200
So.

715
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,360
So I guess I don't need to ask you if you have any guesses who bachelor number four is.

716
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,600
Because clearly it's colossal Claude.

717
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,600
He gave it away.

718
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,200
He gave him his damn self away.

719
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,200
Yeah.

720
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,200
He sure did.

721
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:50,280
How guesses on the others or do you just want to head around for and choose your mans?

722
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,800
Yeah.

723
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,080
I.

724
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,880
This is a tough one.

725
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:01,480
I feel like I was getting a certain vibe about some of these.

726
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,200
And now I might be more confused than ever.

727
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,200
That was my goal.

728
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,200
Yeah.

729
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,200
Um.

730
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,200
Yeah.

731
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,120
I'm really not sure.

732
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,120
I don't know.

733
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,120
Okay.

734
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:19,720
Many of them are like the usual suspects we would see in the PNW or I think maybe one of

735
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,720
the myths.

736
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,720
I'm just, you know, it just feels too soon to say for sure.

737
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,720
Okay.

738
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,720
Okay.

739
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,720
Round four.

740
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:35,960
You got to pick your ideal mate and then I will tell you all about every single one of

741
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,960
them.

742
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,960
Yeah.

743
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,600
So this is a really tough one.

744
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:45,400
Um, normally I think number one, that would be a tempting choice.

745
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,760
Um, but I'm a little bit afraid about some of these answers here.

746
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,760
So.

747
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:57,800
Also, Caitlin, you're not really dating them.

748
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,440
I mean, but listen, I take everything that I do very seriously.

749
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,440
Seriously.

750
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,440
Seriously.

751
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,440
Yeah.

752
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,440
Yeah.

753
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,880
I feel like Bachelor number two for sure is out because I have small animals and that's

754
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,200
going to be a, that's going to be a deal breaker for me.

755
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:19,080
Um, they gave them, you know, they stimulated his serotonin.

756
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,080
I, yeah.

757
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,080
It's like they would make him happy.

758
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,080
Uh-huh.

759
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,080
For how long?

760
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,080
And in what form or fashion?

761
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,680
Um, okay.

762
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,680
So.

763
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,080
Oh my gosh.

764
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:38,680
Well, Clyde or Claude had the most terrible answers, but he's the one that I wanted, obviously.

765
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,680
I know that's why I made him a douche.

766
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,680
Yeah.

767
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,000
I was like, I know it.

768
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,480
I feel like realistically.

769
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,480
Okay.

770
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,480
Okay.

771
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,320
Moment of truth.

772
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:57,280
I think I'm going to go with number three.

773
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,280
Number three.

774
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,280
Wow.

775
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,280
That's a surprise.

776
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,280
Is it?

777
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,280
Okay.

778
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,280
Okay.

779
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,280
Are you ready to find out who your Bachelor is?

780
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,280
Uh, sure.

781
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,280
Okay.

782
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,280
Bachelor number three is Bat Squatch.

783
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:23,280
I feel like it was a Squatch.

784
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:28,880
So Bat Squatch, you remember he was the one who got confused with someone else.

785
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,880
Yeah.

786
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880
Bat Squatch.

787
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:31,880
Bat Squatch.

788
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,080
I felt like I was picking that up.

789
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080
Okay.

790
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,680
I was the only one that I felt like I had any clue on.

791
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,800
So I'll tell you a little bit more about him.

792
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:46,520
He is rumored to have originated from the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption.

793
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,640
Oh, but he has been spotted up and down the west coast.

794
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:56,600
He has described as basically a nine foot tall Sasquatch with blufer, huge bat wings and

795
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,600
glowing eyes.

796
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:58,600
Okay.

797
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,600
I remember I knew you liked the eyes.

798
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,600
Yeah.

799
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,400
You were weird about it, but they rubbed off on you.

800
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,640
Like bats, they are nocturnal and despise the light.

801
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,880
They live solitary lives.

802
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,160
So that's why you had no friends or family.

803
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,160
Makes sense.

804
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,240
So I don't know why he wants a girlfriend, but you know, here we are.

805
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,640
So I guess that's good if what?

806
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,840
Oh, you know, what?

807
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,560
So I guess that's good that you won't see like a horde of flying monkeys coming at you.

808
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:31,800
Was it a Vastile?

809
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,800
So, you know, yeah.

810
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:39,120
Yeah, because that's a nightmare fuel for sure.

811
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,120
Yeah, totally.

812
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,120
Okay.

813
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,440
People who have witnessed a bat squash have reported battery drain.

814
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,440
Okay.

815
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:52,760
So it is very sweet of him to give you a phone charger for your date, so you don't lose

816
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,760
charge.

817
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:54,760
That makes sense.

818
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:55,760
Yeah.

819
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,760
Thoughtful.

820
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,760
How thoughtful.

821
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760
Yeah.

822
00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,760
I can't even believe how thoughtful he is.

823
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:00,760
Yeah.

824
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,520
Well, do you want to hear about the rest of the contestants?

825
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,760
Okay.

826
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:10,480
We can go with colossal clods since we already clearly know who he is.

827
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:11,480
Dennis.

828
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,720
Caitlyn actually requested him.

829
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,760
So of course I had to make him unlikable.

830
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,760
Yeah.

831
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,120
Because I knew she would just pick him.

832
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,400
An absolute douche canoe.

833
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,480
He was first spotted in the Columbia River in 1934.

834
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,480
C.C.

835
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,480
C.C.

836
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,880
C.C.C.C. is a 15 to 40 foot long.

837
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:40,600
That's a big difference there, but 15 to 40 foot long with a round body snake like tail

838
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,720
and eight foot long neck with a horse head.

839
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,720
Oh boy.

840
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,720
Yeah.

841
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,040
So the ultra long scarves were for the eight foot long neck.

842
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,360
I mean, that makes sense.

843
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,400
And I think I picked orange for his favorite color because if he has a horse head, maybe

844
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,080
he likes, you know, the sea words.

845
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,720
We can't say him because the dogs.

846
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,720
Oh, yeah.

847
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,520
But you know, that makes sense.

848
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520
Those orange vegetables.

849
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,520
Those orange vegetables.

850
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,520
They're crunchy.

851
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,520
That are crunchy.

852
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,960
Some people think he might be a pleasy assort.

853
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960
Oh.

854
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,520
Which are extinct because that's a dinosaur.

855
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,520
Okay.

856
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,600
But that's kind of the look of him, I guess.

857
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,600
Yeah.

858
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,400
So then it's not extinct.

859
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,400
Right.

860
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,400
If it was.

861
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,400
Yeah.

862
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,800
No, that are clouds, not that.

863
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,920
And there's just there's no way to know.

864
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:29,920
He's his own thing.

865
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:30,920
Yeah.

866
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:40,200
Boy is he in 1963, the shell oil workers reported seeing CC 180 feet down, maneuvering in

867
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,920
a corkscrew fashion.

868
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:43,920
So interest.

869
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,000
That's what he likes to do.

870
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,200
Corkscrews in the Columbia.

871
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,200
Okay.

872
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:54,280
Some fishermen who had an encounter with him said he would steal 20 pound halibut

873
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,720
right off the line.

874
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,000
I mean, I would absolutely do that if I could.

875
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Right.

876
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,320
They're delicious.

877
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,320
So well, too bad.

878
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,320
You didn't pick him.

879
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,320
He could steal you some halibut.

880
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,320
Yeah.

881
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,360
You know, he'd probably just talk about his beer the whole time.

882
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,360
I know.

883
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,360
What do you do?

884
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,400
I mean, but what pairs better with fish and chips than a beer?

885
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,400
Right.

886
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,560
He's on something.

887
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,800
Fun fact, I guess he's sometimes known as Marvin the Monster.

888
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,800
Uh-huh.

889
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,120
I didn't know.

890
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,080
Fun fact, that's what I've heard.

891
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,920
Never heard of it.

892
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,760
It's all like old man names, too, which is kind of funny.

893
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,000
It's a claw, Marvin.

894
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,000
So contestant number one was the Gumberoo.

895
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,120
Have you heard of it?

896
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,720
I cannot say that I have.

897
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,720
Okay.

898
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,680
I don't think he's found along the coast from Washington to California described as

899
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,920
bear-like, but with no fur.

900
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,920
What?

901
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,160
So that's why he likes the sweaters.

902
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,160
Oh.

903
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,160
Okay.

904
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,160
Okay.

905
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,120
Instead, he has black leathery skin that is basically a shield.

906
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,120
Okay.

907
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,800
Protecting the Gumberoo even against bullets.

908
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:11,800
Wow.

909
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,800
So very tough.

910
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,800
Okay.

911
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,880
Which I'm surprised you didn't pick him.

912
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:16,880
Yeah.

913
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,640
Because he was the protective.

914
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,640
Yeah.

915
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,000
He doesn't like fire.

916
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:27,240
I mean, he lives on the coast range and he doesn't want to do a fire on the beach.

917
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,160
So like, there's a reason.

918
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,160
I'll tell you.

919
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,400
All right.

920
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:36,640
Some speculate that the skin itself might not be black in color, but coated in the ash of

921
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,000
his home, which is a burnt cedar tree.

922
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,120
I was going to say he says he likes the smell of burnt trees.

923
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,920
Because they remind him of home.

924
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:47,920
Oh.

925
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,520
He's in a little burnt tree or a big burnt tree.

926
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,520
Not a little one.

927
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,520
A little one.

928
00:34:54,520 --> 00:35:02,680
Which is ironic that his home and his favorite scent are burnt, but he is scared of fire.

929
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,680
That's what I'm saying.

930
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,000
So why is that?

931
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,400
Fire is one of the only ways to kill a Gumberoo and they are apparently highly flammable.

932
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400
Oh, boy.

933
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,760
So that's why he has the explosive personality.

934
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,760
Oh.

935
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,760
Oh, no, son.

936
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,760
Bobo.

937
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:26,080
He does have one other weakness and that's being bitten by another creature called the timber

938
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,080
doodle.

939
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,280
Like a poodle?

940
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,280
I get.

941
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:31,280
I don't like it.

942
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,280
A timber poodle.

943
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,960
I have no idea.

944
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,480
That led me to believe he wouldn't like to be bitten at all.

945
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,480
Probably pretty vanilla.

946
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,480
Okay.

947
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,160
So yeah, hence the missionaries.

948
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,760
I see where I see.

949
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,320
Oh, I follow.

950
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,320
She gets it.

951
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,120
She gets me.

952
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:57,600
He also has, as I alluded to in the very first question, and this is a very scientific term,

953
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,160
a sh*t on of very sharp teeth.

954
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,160
Oh.

955
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,760
So yeah, it might make kissing a little heart.

956
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,880
I, yeah, I could see that.

957
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,200
I feel like it would be like an Edward Scissor Hands situation.

958
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,200
Yeah.

959
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,200
But like with your mouth.

960
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,200
Yeah.

961
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,200
Not ideal.

962
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,200
Did you like my Scissor Hands?

963
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,200
I was doing Scissor Hands.

964
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:21,160
Did you look like you were doing finger guns again?

965
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,080
Who knows?

966
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,800
All those teeth probably help him out because he does have an insatiable appetite.

967
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:33,600
I mean, clearly he ate all of his lovely dates chocolates.

968
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,840
Who does that?

969
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,360
He will eat anything that even looks like food.

970
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,520
So I'd watch out for all those food-shaped items we like to carry around.

971
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,480
Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Pizza Purse.

972
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:49,000
So good thing you didn't pick him and bring your pizza purse and your dog.

973
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,720
He would have been, you would have just been gone, girl.

974
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,480
He's like a hot dog and a pizza.

975
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,480
Oh no.

976
00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,480
You can put them in the little hot dog Halloween costume.

977
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,720
Oh god.

978
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,960
No, I think that's a bachelor number two.

979
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,120
Right.

980
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,560
And how can I forget the Eugene Levy?

981
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,760
That's not his name.

982
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,240
Oh, yeah.

983
00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:19,280
And how can I forget the Eugene Levy eyebrows and porcupine chin?

984
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280
Oh boy.

985
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,280
Very hot.

986
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,280
That's very hot.

987
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,080
That is a lot.

988
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,880
Also, another fun fact, very PNW.

989
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,880
This story originated with lumberjacks.

990
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,880
Huh.

991
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:32,880
Yeah.

992
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,320
That makes sense though.

993
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,320
Out in the trees.

994
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,320
Yeah.

995
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:38,320
Yeah.

996
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,320
Bachelor number two is Ogo Pogo.

997
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,320
Ogo Pogo.

998
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,200
Have you heard of him?

999
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,320
It sounds so familiar.

1000
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,160
It's an interesting one.

1001
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,160
Uh huh.

1002
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:55,640
Ogo Pogo dwells in Okanagan Lake in Kelona, British Columbia.

1003
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,080
Yeah, he does.

1004
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,720
And no one else is going to know, but that took me a ridiculously long amount of time to

1005
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,320
say that whole sentence.

1006
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,320
It's been 10 minutes.

1007
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,320
Oh god.

1008
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,320
Okay.

1009
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:14,760
He's described as some sort of serpent or dragon creature.

1010
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:20,520
The legend is that the sea of Okanagan people who were native to the land gave offerings

1011
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:24,880
to Ogo Pogo in return for safe passage across the lake.

1012
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,880
Yes.

1013
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:32,280
And, and guess what the offering was?

1014
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,520
Live small animals.

1015
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,720
No, thank you.

1016
00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:41,400
Other people would start to bring their precious metals and jewelry to peace, Ogo Pogo.

1017
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,880
Yes.

1018
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,240
Instead of the live sacrifices.

1019
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:51,200
Actually, the origin of this cryptid is most likely a misunderstanding due to language

1020
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,200
barriers.

1021
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,200
Huh.

1022
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,200
Yeah.

1023
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,200
Who would have thought?

1024
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,200
Weird, right?

1025
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,200
What a thunk.

1026
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:05,360
In fact, the sea of Okanagan people told settlers of a sacred water spirit protecting

1027
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,360
land.

1028
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:13,160
They called it, and this is a crazy looking name, but it came with a pronunciation, which

1029
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,160
is not too bad.

1030
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,360
So, it's kind of fun.

1031
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,360
Okay.

1032
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:17,360
Nahaha ikku.

1033
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,360
Oh.

1034
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:27,760
And it spelled like in apostrophe X with a little thingy AX ITK thingy Mavavers.

1035
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,760
Yeah.

1036
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,760
It's really cool looking.

1037
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,560
I like our languages.

1038
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,560
Not as pretty.

1039
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,680
So, not as pretty as this.

1040
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:42,360
But, that translates to the sacred spirit of the lake, which sounds nice.

1041
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,360
It does.

1042
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,200
They describe it as having a horse head with deer antlers.

1043
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,560
So, I think it's like kind of the same swimming creature maybe, but maybe not.

1044
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,520
Maybe it's just like a walking, like a land spirit.

1045
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:56,520
Yeah.

1046
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,520
That sounds.

1047
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,520
I don't know.

1048
00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,520
Yeah.

1049
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,000
That sounds potentially really, really different.

1050
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,000
Very different.

1051
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Yeah.

1052
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,280
Big miscommunication.

1053
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,120
Their offerings included tobacco, sage, and salmon.

1054
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,040
So try explaining this to white people, and it turns into sacrificing live animals to

1055
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,520
appease a demon.

1056
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,680
I mean, and who we are.

1057
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,440
I mean, we are kind of the worst.

1058
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,600
The actual worst.

1059
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:29,600
So, fast forward to the 20s, where we get the origin of the OgoPogov name from a very

1060
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,120
entertaining song.

1061
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,920
I will include the link to the song.

1062
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:34,920
It's really fun.

1063
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,640
I highly suggest listening to it.

1064
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:44,400
But some of the lyrics are, I am looking for the OgoPogo, the funny little OgoPogo.

1065
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,880
His mother was a polywag.

1066
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,400
His father was a whale.

1067
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,720
I am going to put a little salt on his tail.

1068
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720
Roode.

1069
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:52,720
I know.

1070
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,400
So I figured he might be scared of salt.

1071
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,400
Like a slug.

1072
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,400
Yeah.

1073
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,400
Right?

1074
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,400
Yeah.

1075
00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,400
Eaky.

1076
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,200
You compare him to the Loch Ness Monster.

1077
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:08,080
The locals have statues of him, and people even travel to visit the lake to try and get a glimpse.

1078
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,800
But I had never heard of him.

1079
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,600
And obviously, he's not as famous as a Loch Ness Monster, because he doesn't have, you

1080
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,440
know, ladles of him.

1081
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,440
Yeah.

1082
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,000
You can, you know, use in your kitchen.

1083
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,080
Not by a long shot, which I want one really bad.

1084
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,080
I know.

1085
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,880
So I gather that he might be a little bit, have a little bit of a complex about that.

1086
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:30,880
Yeah.

1087
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:38,900
So I mean, listen, it's probably best that I didn't go this route because I myself have a

1088
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:42,920
Loch Ness loose leaf tea diffuser.

1089
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,920
Oh, yeah.

1090
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:44,920
Cute.

1091
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:45,920
See what I mean?

1092
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:46,920
There's not an OgoPogo one.

1093
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:47,920
That's right.

1094
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,280
I mean, man, that's rough.

1095
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,280
Living in the shadow.

1096
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,280
Right.

1097
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,280
Yeah.

1098
00:41:54,280 --> 00:42:00,920
But one more little fun, funsy fact for you in the 80s, there was a $1 million reward for

1099
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,880
proof of the OgoPogo's existence.

1100
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,880
Oh, yeah.

1101
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:07,880
One million dollars.

1102
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,280
One million dollars.

1103
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,760
Wait, is the reward no longer?

1104
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:16,760
I don't think so.

1105
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,360
I think they probably canceled that.

1106
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,360
Yeah.

1107
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,240
I mean, they've got their, their tourists now on their merch.

1108
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,560
So they're good to go.

1109
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,560
Okay.

1110
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,560
That's fair.

1111
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:31,920
Are you ready to do the terror reading to find out what Mr. Bat Squatch has in mind for

1112
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:32,920
you?

1113
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,920
What his intentions are with you?

1114
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:41,440
I, you know, it's probably best if I have all of the information, but I'm a little bit

1115
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,440
afraid.

1116
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,440
That's all of the information.

1117
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,440
Okay.

1118
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,840
Half of all of the information.

1119
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,080
Listen, I'm going to trust the terror.

1120
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,240
It's going to guide me correctly.

1121
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,480
I think so too.

1122
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,480
It's going to know these cryptids.

1123
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480
Okay.

1124
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,480
Okay.

1125
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:57,480
Ready?

1126
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,480
Yeah.

1127
00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,480
Terror?

1128
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:00,480
Terror?

1129
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:06,480
As indie podcasters, we love to show our support of other awesome shows.

1130
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,360
So stay tuned for the promo we've got to share with you this week.

1131
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:11,760
Let's show them some love.

1132
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,480
You can find their info in our show notes.

1133
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:20,680
I can't possibly tell you all the crazy things that happen in the new True Crime podcast

1134
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,680
that in the water in 30 seconds.

1135
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,480
But what I can tell you is that it's about a well to do Australian woman who met and fell

1136
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:32,400
in love with a mysterious man who had a beautiful yacht and planned to marry him and spend

1137
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,240
the rest of their days sailing around the world together.

1138
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:40,280
What actually happened was serial infidelity, loss of more than a million dollars, and attempted

1139
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,280
murder.

1140
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,240
The series is narrated by Tony Dalton of AMC's Better Call Saul.

1141
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:50,000
You can find dead in the water by going to deadinthewaterpodcast.com or just search dead in the

1142
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,600
water from voyage media.

1143
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,840
Anyway, listen to podcasts.

1144
00:43:55,840 --> 00:44:00,880
If you're a frequent PNW Haunts and Homicides listener, you probably already know we're

1145
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,560
birdie ambassadors.

1146
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:07,760
We wanted to take a quick moment to tell you a little bit more about this awesome product.

1147
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,760
Birdie is the modern, personal safety alarm made for women by women.

1148
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:17,040
In a situation where you feel threatened or unsafe, you can simply activate birdie's

1149
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,480
loud siren and flashing light to create a diversion.

1150
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,800
Birdie is perfect to carry any time because the device is lightweight and comes in a variety

1151
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,800
of colors.

1152
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,280
So important.

1153
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:36,120
Use our Ambassador link and coupon code, PNWHAUNTSANDHOMICIDES, to receive 10% off your

1154
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:37,600
purchase.

1155
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:42,440
Like our social media handles, the coupon code is all spelled out no special characters.

1156
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:48,120
You can find the link in promo code in our show notes or PNW Haunts and Homicides link tree.

1157
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,320
Have a safe stay.

1158
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,720
You guys were back.

1159
00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:57,280
And don't worry, we did get more wine.

1160
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:02,400
Well, of course.

1161
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,040
I'm excited for this tarot read.

1162
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,040
I wasn't.

1163
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,880
We had a lot of technical difficulties.

1164
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,880
Now fucking chill.

1165
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,880
I'm feeling it.

1166
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:09,880
Yeah.

1167
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,880
We got it figured out.

1168
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:12,880
Okay.

1169
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,200
We're probably being cursed and or haunted.

1170
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,480
Yeah.

1171
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,480
So I regret my decisions.

1172
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,800
So like maybe Bat Squatch isn't the one for me.

1173
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,800
He is.

1174
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,800
Don't say that about him.

1175
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:36,040
And when we have the other rogue beer, the gumberu, so rogue made the gumberu, the

1176
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,640
Bat Squatch and colossal clod into beers.

1177
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:45,960
And I did not know that before I picked them for this episode, I knew colossal clod did.

1178
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,960
Yeah.

1179
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,160
That's the only one I knew about.

1180
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:52,560
Even in like researching them, typing in their names into Google, I didn't either, it

1181
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,920
didn't register that they had beers or it just didn't come up.

1182
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:57,920
But yeah.

1183
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:02,120
So it's pretty surprised and happy to find that out.

1184
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,880
We don't have OgoPogo yet, but we will start a petition.

1185
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:07,880
Absolutely.

1186
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,680
Okay, Caitlin.

1187
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,680
That's me.

1188
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,680
Pick your eligible.

1189
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:15,680
What are you?

1190
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,280
Sassy, sexy, single.

1191
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,280
Oh boy.

1192
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,280
Okay.

1193
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,280
Yeah.

1194
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,280
Okay.

1195
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,520
For Bat Squatch's intentions with you.

1196
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,520
Okay.

1197
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,760
What did we get?

1198
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:28,760
Shut up.

1199
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,760
Did we get?

1200
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,760
Shut up.

1201
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,760
What did we get?

1202
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:32,760
Oh, cool.

1203
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,600
We got the fool.

1204
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,600
That's my card.

1205
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,600
Okay.

1206
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,320
It was really debating.

1207
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,880
I think the fool is kind of fitting for this one.

1208
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,680
He's some sort of otter, the river otter.

1209
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,680
Just a sea otter.

1210
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:49,680
Okay.

1211
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,920
Oh, this is this actually works, I think.

1212
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,920
Okay.

1213
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:54,920
So good.

1214
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,920
Okay.

1215
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:04,720
So our key words are innocence, beginnings, trust, hope, and opportunity.

1216
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,800
It's the first card in the major arcana.

1217
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,240
The fool begins your journey toward wisdom.

1218
00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,000
The fool represents innocence and faith.

1219
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,480
The naive confidence of youth.

1220
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:24,000
Shown as a young traveler, he embarks on an adventure without a care in the world.

1221
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,320
He's concerned about the potential dangers that lurk ahead on the path.

1222
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,000
I think you're the fool.

1223
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,040
That doesn't sound like me at all.

1224
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,080
You pick a cryptid to date, you fool.

1225
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,080
I know.

1226
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,160
That's what he's trying to say.

1227
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:47,040
In some decks, he appears as a happy, go-lucky young male standing at the edge of a cliff.

1228
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,040
Just about to step off into the great unknown.

1229
00:47:50,040 --> 00:48:00,320
Then he carries all his worldly possessions tied in a small bag on a stick over his shoulder.

1230
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:04,600
Suggesting he doesn't have a lot of baggage yet and is open to life's experiences.

1231
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:09,720
Oh, well, the bag's quite doesn't have like friends or family, so probably not a lot

1232
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:10,720
of baggage.

1233
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,720
Yeah, I would think.

1234
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,320
Oh, my goodness.

1235
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:21,080
The fool symbolizes the blind leap of faith we almost take upon entering the journey of

1236
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,920
life.

1237
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,440
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

1238
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:33,760
Oh, when the fool appears in a reading, it usually means you're about to embark on a

1239
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,720
new way of life.

1240
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:36,720
You're open.

1241
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:37,720
Oh, yeah.

1242
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:42,440
Yeah, you are.

1243
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:48,160
You're open to new experiences and to discovering what lies around the bend.

1244
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:53,080
Even if you're not sure about the path you've chosen, you have faith that everything will

1245
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,600
turn out well.

1246
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,000
You probably feel out of sync with the rest of the world.

1247
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,000
But in a good way, are we so sure?

1248
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,760
Oh, listen, I'm wearing literal rose colored glasses.

1249
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,720
I'm channeling Elton John here, but like, I ain't no fool.

1250
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:17,640
You hear the beat of a different drummer and you're ready to march to it.

1251
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:20,560
You hear the beat of leathery bat wings.

1252
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,240
Oh, boy.

1253
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,440
I'm skipping right to the love reading.

1254
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:26,440
Perfect.

1255
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:32,800
In a reading about love, this card often means beginning a romance or moving into a new

1256
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,520
stage in an existing relationship.

1257
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:42,400
A new relationship may feel faded as if you've met your soulmate.

1258
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,880
That's what you're soulmates.

1259
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,360
Enjoy this period of joy, openness and excitement.

1260
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,920
Oh, there's another extra excerpt.

1261
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,960
The quest for meaning always takes us into the unknown.

1262
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,680
Oh, boy.

1263
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,680
Okay.

1264
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,000
I can these bad boys off.

1265
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,880
I feel like they are blinding me.

1266
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,880
I love that.

1267
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,280
That was the perfect reading.

1268
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:14,280
It made up for all of our problems in the beginning, I think.

1269
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,040
Oh, my goodness.

1270
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,040
Yeah.

1271
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,320
We were having some real technical difficulties.

1272
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,520
Yeah, we were.

1273
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:29,720
Do you like our explosion of Valentine's all over the bed and the altar and it's perfect.

1274
00:50:29,720 --> 00:50:30,720
It's beautiful.

1275
00:50:30,720 --> 00:50:34,240
I love your heart shaped little shelf here.

1276
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,840
And you got is this love potion?

1277
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:38,920
It's actually poison.

1278
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:44,840
We're going to pretend it's love potion, which AKA poison.

1279
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,400
Well, we hope you all have a swell V day.

1280
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:53,560
No matter what you do, if you celebrate, if you don't, if you have a date, if you don't

1281
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,640
do something for yourself, self love is important.

1282
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,280
Happy Valentine's Day for you people.

1283
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:01,280
This is really fun episode.

1284
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,120
I had a lot of fun being creative and making shit up.

1285
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,640
That was a good time.

1286
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,160
We're going to have to do this again for sure.

1287
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:16,840
So write in with suggestions of credits because we're doing this again.

1288
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,520
If I have to write it myself, we're doing it again.

1289
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,520
That was too much fun.

1290
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:21,520
Yeah, sure turn.

1291
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:22,520
I'm obsessed.

1292
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:23,520
Oh, thanks.

1293
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,880
Have a creepy ass Valentine's Day.

1294
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,960
See you next Tuesday.

1295
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:40,400
I'm less, you're one of the three bachelor cryptids that Caitlyn didn't pick.

1296
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:41,400
Lose my number.

1297
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,160
Yeah, I'm sure they're all very upset.

1298
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:47,400
I'm going to have to call each one of them personally afterwards and tell them the bad news.

1299
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,200
So wish me luck every morning.

1300
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:55,040
If I'm not here next week, you guys know why.

1301
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,280
I might have been eaten by a cryptid because he was mad.

1302
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,280
Okay.

1303
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,080
Listen, we're going to have to have a chat with them.

1304
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,080
That's not how you solve problems.

1305
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,080
Okay.

1306
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,080
Bye.

1307
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,080
Bye.

1308
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:08,080
Bye.

1309
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:18,200
Oh, that is not a birthday present for Kelce!

1310
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:22,440
That is a bed save.

1311
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,600
Please read it.

1312
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,120
I cannot read it.

1313
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,320
You want me to read it?

1314
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,320
Oh, my God.

1315
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:34,320
I mean, I would hardly call this a family show.

1316
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,320
No, we don't need to read it.

1317
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,320
Oh, my God.

1318
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,320
No, we have to read it.

1319
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,320
Oh, you want to read it?

1320
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:40,320
Oh, my God.

1321
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:50,320
If there's any kids around sitting around with the room immediately, if that's sooner, why

1322
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,320
are you letting your kids listen to that?

1323
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,320
Don't let them listen to me.

1324
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,320
Yeah.

1325
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,320
I'm naughty.

1326
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,320
Jesus.

1327
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,320
Okay.

1328
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,000
The submarine.

1329
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:12,440
Also known as a sexual act involving a man eating out a woman's vagina while masturbating.

1330
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,440
Okay.

1331
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,440
Seems tame.

1332
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:25,400
Just before he comes to completion, he looks up at her when she notices him looking at

1333
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,400
her.

1334
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:36,000
He says target locked, which is I can't know, never target locked.

1335
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,400
Target is officially out of the room.

1336
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:48,280
While the girl is still in confusion, he says fire torpedo as he jumps up and comes to completion

1337
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:52,400
on her face in her face on her face in her face.

1338
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,080
Oh, boy.

1339
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:58,080
Then walks away saying target destroyed.

1340
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:05,080
And I would literally end the life of this critter.

1341
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:10,520
I mean, this is something you need to talk about with your partner beforehand and make sure

1342
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,480
everyone's okay with it.

1343
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:20,840
Yeah, because listen, this definition comes with, can I hear it in a sentence?

1344
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,840
And here we go.

1345
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:26,640
Kelce was so surprised when I gave her that submarine for her birthday.

1346
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,640
No.

1347
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:31,280
Don't surprise the submarine on any of it.

1348
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,840
Never surprise anyone with anything ever.

1349
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:34,840
No.

1350
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,840
Never.

1351
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:36,840
Consent is key.

1352
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:37,840
Yeah.

1353
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,720
Also, that does not sound like a birthday present for Kelce.

1354
00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:41,720
Just FYI.

1355
00:54:41,720 --> 00:54:42,720
Kelce.

1356
00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:43,720
Are you okay?

1357
00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:44,720
Kelce is not okay.

1358
00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:54,720
pnwhauntsandhomicides.com