1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,320
of the most valuable lessons in table tennis, it's, it's, you have a millisecond to react,

2
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:11,920
to understand your opponent, to know your strengths, you know, to understand what, where to put,

3
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:18,400
you know, the emphasis and the focus on, and you have to do that so fast, and to do that is a real skill.

4
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:24,880
Most valuable lessons were actually the mental game, you know, and the same psychological tools

5
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:30,640
that create champion athletes can transform good leaders into exceptional ones. Whether you're an

6
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:35,840
athlete or not, resilience isn't something that we wake up with, and today we're resilient,

7
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,400
it's something we develop and we work at.

8
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:50,880
Welcome to the Executive Connect podcast. Today we're going to be talking with

9
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:58,640
Tanya Friedlander. Welcome, Tanya. Hi, thank you so much for having me. So nice to be here.

10
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:06,880
Now you've had an incredible journey transitioning from law and now an executive, high performing

11
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:12,560
coach for some of the biggest names and the business. Let's start with hearing a little bit about

12
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:17,520
what inspired the shift and why you do executive coaching now.

13
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:26,880
Thank you. Yes, so my journey started many, many years ago. So I had different careers in my lifetime.

14
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:33,680
So I started as an athlete in table tennis. I had a big passion for table tennis,

15
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:39,840
competed national and international wide was Vienna champion and one of the top Austrian players.

16
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:47,280
And also competed internationally. And then I transitioned into law, some a lawyer by training.

17
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:53,440
And I'm from Austria, I also lived in England. And when I moved to this country to the US,

18
00:01:53,440 --> 00:02:00,320
I transitioned into coaching. And initially I combined my two passions of law and coaching.

19
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:07,120
And so I was coaching a lot of lawyers. And then I started working with more leaders.

20
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:12,720
And that is when I discovered my passion for leadership development. And I've been doing this

21
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:20,320
work for almost a decade now. And the way that I discovered it was more about that I was always

22
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:26,320
always fascinated by the mind and what makes people great. And I wanted to learn more about it.

23
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:31,840
And so I discovered the field of positive psychology. And when I found it, I said, yeah, that's it.

24
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:37,200
This is what I want to do. And I want help people to get clear on their goals, achieve their goals

25
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:43,680
and move forward. And so I combined that with leadership development, helping leaders step up

26
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:49,840
that game and get to where they want to go. I love that. I think that makes you such a unique coach,

27
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:56,960
having law and all the frameworks that go into being attorney. And then the leadership side of being

28
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:04,320
an athlete, an athlete, especially in a high-stake environment. So I want to talk a little bit about

29
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:12,160
high-performing teams and how companies can really bring that out in their employees now.

30
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:17,760
And maybe share a little bit about some of the methodologies you use that has helped some of

31
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:23,920
your clients transform their performance in the office and outside the office.

32
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:32,560
Yeah. So the number one step is to really be clear on what it is that we actually want to achieve.

33
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:38,400
And I think a lot of times when I initially speak to someone, it would always be extremely unclear.

34
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,080
It's like, I want to be a more impactful leader. I want to be a better leader.

35
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:46,800
Right? What does that mean? Let's break things down and say, what do you want to achieve in a year

36
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:52,240
from now, in three years from now, in five years from now? Right? So being really clear of what that

37
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:57,200
would actually look like for you? How do you want your team to transform? You know, what kind of changes

38
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:02,800
do you want to see within, you know, as an individual, as a leader, and as a, you know, as a company,

39
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:08,400
and as an organization? What kind of changes do you want to see within your team? So that is to be

40
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:14,160
from the get-go really, be clearly defined. And that is when this journey really starts. It's getting

41
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:21,680
really, I use a very customized approach to really identifying the core of the issue. And for some

42
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:28,160
organizations, it's trust, not having psychological safety, not being able to speak up because

43
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:33,760
they might be afraid of repercussions. For some people, it's not having clarity of their role,

44
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,080
you know, not really understanding where they belong and where they make the biggest difference.

45
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:44,240
Because there needs to be both from, from the organization and from, you know, your team, there needs to be

46
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:52,560
maximum satisfaction and maximum value, right? Like the employee, right, has to feel like they give

47
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:57,440
that satisfied, but on the other side, they also need to feel the company needs to feel like

48
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:03,600
they're getting the most value as well. So to bridge the two is where you really start to thrive.

49
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:09,760
Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely. And I know you've done coaching for large companies like

50
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,920
Salesforce and Google, and I'm curious, what are some of common challenges that executive leaders

51
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:23,680
are facing today? And how can you help them overcome these challenges? So I, one of the biggest

52
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:29,520
challenges is, you know, the market is constantly changing. It's working on the pressure. It's that

53
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:37,520
agility and being able to adapt on the pressure, you know, when certain conditions are changing

54
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:43,200
and the goal posts are changing, right? And that is what I learned actually, one of the most valuable

55
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:50,240
lessons in table tennis. It's, it's, you have a millisecond to react, to understand your opponent,

56
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:55,840
to know your strengths, you know, to understand what, where to put, you know, the emphasis and the focus

57
00:05:55,840 --> 00:06:02,800
on and you have to do that so fast and to do that is a real skill. And that it really translates

58
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:08,320
directly to leadership and how to adapt quickly within the change in circumstances.

59
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:16,880
Yeah, I love that you said that. I think athletics has, I agree. I think athletics has helped me come,

60
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:23,520
you know, a corporate athlete because I think in today's world, athletics translate, right? If you're

61
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:30,720
executive, high stress, high pressure, constant changing, and a lot of the executives, I know

62
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:37,760
right now, Tanya, are traveling across countries, internationally, different time zones. And a lot of

63
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:45,520
times we forget that it's not just eight to five. It's, you know, we're, some executives are, have jobs

64
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:52,240
that are not only physical and emotional and mental. So we're, we're juggling all of our senses all

65
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:58,800
the time plus sleep deprivation. And so really getting your head in the game and like you were saying,

66
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:04,880
getting a plan of what are we trying to accomplish? I think a lot of times, you know, in corporate

67
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:12,960
America, we set so many goals. We need to sell while creating new systems, while delivering, oh wait,

68
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:18,720
we want to sell it before we have it, you know, baked and ready to deliver. And so you really have

69
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:26,480
to navigate all of this while you're developing products while you're selling to clients and

70
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:31,600
managing teams, right? So there's a lot of emotions that go into that. So I want to kind of

71
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:38,320
fill back those layers and take a little bit deeper approach to kind of what that looks like today.

72
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:46,240
Yes, yes. And that is really, you know, when, when we think of high performance, right, we,

73
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:51,440
especially high performance athletics, we think of the physical capabilities. But what you are

74
00:07:51,440 --> 00:08:00,320
describing and what I've also learned throughout, you know, my athletic years and being a champion athlete

75
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:06,880
was the most valuable lessons were actually the mental game, you know, and the same psychological

76
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:13,600
tools that create champion athletes can transform good leaders into exceptional ones. And so we really

77
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:20,320
have to work much more on the end on that resilience. The resilience that we need to build up to

78
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:26,080
manage all of those different things that you just mentioned, right? There's so many moving parts.

79
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:32,880
How do we step, you know, how do we stay on top of the game when there is just so much demand, right?

80
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:39,680
Yeah. And I think resilience and whether you're an athlete or not, resilience isn't something that

81
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:46,320
we wake up with. And today we're resilient. It's something we develop and we work at, right? If you

82
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:52,560
end your day and you're really stressed out and you stay up night late at night trying to get caught

83
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:58,640
up at work and you, you wake up in the morning, you're, you know, you're sleep deprived, you're stressed

84
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:04,720
out, you're strong out. It's really hard over time to stay resilient. So it's really like you were

85
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,960
saying at the beginning, what is the goal? What is the mission? If you have 10 things that you're

86
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:15,840
focusing on, it's really hard to accomplish the mission. And like you said, same thing with a mindset,

87
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:21,520
right? Like you might have one thing you're focusing on at your corporate job and you can't deliver it

88
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:29,200
until the product team finishes the product, right? And your job might be dependent on other people

89
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:36,320
doing their job. And so really getting your head in the game, I love what you're saying. I think is

90
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:42,800
so important not to lose hope, not to lose faith and to continue to persevere. I think we see this

91
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:49,520
in sports. We saw this during the Olympics, we see this in football. We've seen this with college

92
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:55,840
football this year underdogs winning, but it's all this sudden they could be up by a lot. And then

93
00:09:55,840 --> 00:10:01,600
in no time, there, you know, how many points behind and where did their mental mind game go? So I

94
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:07,040
want to talk a little bit about like you were saying the mental mind game in resilience as it

95
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:13,520
pertains to corporate America and what executives can do to be resilient and have that strong mental

96
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:19,200
mind game. Absolutely. I mean, the first step is really to understand what are, you know, there are

97
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:25,840
external expectations and internal expectations, right? External expectations of what the company,

98
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,720
the organization is expecting of you as a leader. And then what are you expecting of yourself?

99
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:38,960
And when we set so many different goals, we become so scattered, we can't really measure progress.

100
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:46,560
And when we can't measure progress, it's kind of like really makes us feel like we're not good

101
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:52,800
enough because we can't really see the, you know, how we are making progress. We have nothing to measure,

102
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:57,440
right? Especially in that waiting period, like you said, you're waiting for a product to be,

103
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:04,080
you know, delivered, right? That waiting game, right? The insecurities also we want to be, we are creatures

104
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:09,040
of control, we are control-freex, right? We want to be in control when we have to delegate,

105
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:15,120
when we have to wait on something, we get nervous, we get tense, right? It's that insecurity and

106
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:22,560
uncertainty, right? So it really goes back to that mental game of how do I stay in the game

107
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:29,920
when I'm not in control, right? When things are not in my control anymore, how can I work in my life

108
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:36,480
and in my work and I look for control, right? What can I control? And so, you know, when you're

109
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:42,080
setting so many different goals, it's like reflecting back and saying, okay, I have so many, you know,

110
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:48,800
in order to not be so scattered, that is where being an athlete comes in so handy, I mean, the

111
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:55,040
principles, because there is such a thing as called deliberate practice, right? Deliberate practice is

112
00:11:55,040 --> 00:12:02,720
the concept of taking one thing, one skill and always applying it and really making sure that you

113
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,440
are constantly working on that one thing instead of 10 different things, right? You're going to a

114
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:12,880
practice session, you're focusing on developing that one skill and that is your measuring, that's

115
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:18,640
how you measure that is your goal. So you start practicing that one skill until you master it,

116
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:24,000
right? And so I think so many times when we have this goal and that goal, you don't feel like you're

117
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:29,760
making progress because you don't feel like you're actually mastering anything. So we can take this

118
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:35,760
concept of deliberate practice and really apply it to how are we executing, how we applying this,

119
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:42,960
to what we're doing right now. Yeah, and I think of it like kind of like a hamster wheel,

120
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,800
you could be running at your goal and you're running on the hamster wheel, running and you're just

121
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:54,000
kind of running in circles. And I think I also look at resiliency like productivity too and in my

122
00:12:54,000 --> 00:13:01,120
world because you know, back to the athletics, when I would have practices late in the evening, I

123
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:08,080
wasn't as fast of a runner as good as weightlifting as I was in the morning. So the other side of

124
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:14,000
resilience is to understand when you're the best. When are you the best focused? When are you the

125
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:20,800
best all in? So sometimes it may take you an hour to get focused and get productive if it's in

126
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:25,680
the evening. And I have people I work with that they're so productive in the evening and that's when

127
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:30,480
they do their best work. So going back to resiliency, I think you need to understand you

128
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:38,960
what works best for you because there's no like perfect, you know, who's resilient best when I think

129
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:46,080
you really got to unpack when you work the best and how you work the best. Is it late at night?

130
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:52,960
Is it in the morning? Exactly. Getting your mental mind game in that game. Exactly. And building off

131
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:58,720
of that is that you know, so many times when we think of productivity, we think of time management,

132
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:06,160
but more than time management, I say energy management because when you know what fills you,

133
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:12,320
what energizes you and what drains you, you can position yourself. Like you said, where do I,

134
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:18,960
where do I function at my best? Is it in the morning? Is it under afternoon? You know, it's not

135
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:24,800
just time management. We all have limited amounts of time, right? We all have the same amount of time,

136
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:32,320
but energy is a whole different ball game. It's like a it's like a phone that you charge, right? Like most

137
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:38,320
people, they, you know, charge their phone. It's almost like when the battery is running out, you know?

138
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:43,440
And that is what we do with our life. We go on vacation or we we need to take a break when our

139
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:50,080
batteries run out, but really energy management is is preserving the battery, is charging it.

140
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:57,840
And understanding what charges me, you know, what do I need a little bit to do more of? Then,

141
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:04,240
you know, what do I need to let go of and really lean in into so that I can feel more energized?

142
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:10,720
And a lot of times people think that they're overwhelmed and burned out because they do too much,

143
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:15,920
but actually it's they do too little of the things that energize them.

144
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:22,400
Oh, let's unpack that. I love that because burnout, you can't, you know,

145
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:28,560
find a scroll or anything anymore where we're not talking about burnout and, you know, a lot of

146
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:34,960
companies now are really focusing on that with their staff and their team. So I know that you

147
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:41,120
offer programs dedicated to burnout. And I want to hear a little bit about what are some of the early

148
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:46,160
warning signs for burnout as that leaders can pay attention to.

149
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:55,440
Disengagement, disengagement, demotivation, when you feel disconnected, when you're just like

150
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,520
going through, you know, the trenches, but it's like it nothing excites you.

151
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:05,920
So just kind of like this sense of disconnection and disengagement,

152
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:13,520
lack of motivation. And those are early signs when you are like, okay, you know, this is,

153
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:19,360
you know, I'm having a hard time getting out of bed. I'm just constantly in the cycle of exhaustion

154
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:24,480
because burnout is a more of a, there is overwhelming, there's burnout, right? We can often feel

155
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:31,120
overwhelmed, but burnout is over a longer period of time when it becomes a new way of being, when

156
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:39,120
you're just constantly running on such low energy that that is burnout. And it's, it's really also

157
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:44,160
understanding that, you know, there's some people that are just more prone to burnout. And many people

158
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:50,240
don't know that. So some people are just more prone to burnout, like type A personalities,

159
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:59,040
people that are having a hard time asking for help, perfectionists, you know, so there is people

160
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:06,560
that identify with the biggest part of who they are with their job. So yeah, and I also think for

161
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:15,520
burnout for me too, I notice it's also correlates to food, right? When I'm tired or stressed, I

162
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:22,000
greet for things I would not otherwise ever reach for, you know, the kids food that I shouldn't be

163
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:28,640
eating. So also, I think it's, it's what you're picking up to eat and what you're putting in your

164
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:35,840
body to eat and drink is it more alcohol is it, you know, high sugary, high fat foods is it fast food,

165
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:42,640
are you not having the energy to put a nice meal together or healthy snacks as well? Absolutely.

166
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:49,920
Yes, I'm getting enough sleep, right? Those are like, you know, essentials, those are essentials.

167
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:57,440
What I'm, those are essentials, what I'm transitioning into is that mental aspect, because how

168
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:03,920
many times have people gone on vacation or taken a break and still can't switch off their constant

169
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:09,600
on feeling, right? You might get a massage, you might get your nails done, you might go on vacation,

170
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:16,320
but you still feel on. That's the mental game, that's the internal expectations of yourself,

171
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:23,040
the internal pressure that you're feeling, right? That needs to be addressed, because you can take

172
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:30,000
all of the things that are being suggested, self-care, right? All of those things, but people still

173
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:36,720
struggle with switching off. Yeah, and I love that you said that, because that I was one of those people

174
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:46,480
was, yes, tense, and I've really leaned in last year to really focusing on taking the time off

175
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:54,320
and putting the phone away and really getting right in myself and my, and, and what I need to do,

176
00:18:54,320 --> 00:19:00,960
like you said, a massage, get my nails done, those things, and it's amazing how much energy and how much

177
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:08,240
easier it is to come back to something when you're rested, you have had the sleep, you're, you've

178
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:14,240
ate healthy. I mean, what might have taken eight hours could take half the time if you're well-rested

179
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:20,640
and well-organized with your thoughts versus really erratic with your thinking, taking time to get

180
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:27,600
focused and then refocusing and I know another thing I've been doing is shrinking my email,

181
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:34,960
like turning my teams off, turning my email down so I can focus on what I need to focus, otherwise

182
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:44,880
it's email pop-up, teams pop-up, calls coming in and really manage my desk versus the day managing me.

183
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:52,960
Yes, exactly, you being in control and you kind of setting the boundaries, setting boundaries of what

184
00:19:52,960 --> 00:20:00,560
do you want to protect, right? You want to protect your focus, you want to protect your mental

185
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:07,760
capacities, right? Like that, that needs to be addressed, so we need to understand where do I need to

186
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:13,360
set the boundaries? Maybe it's like you said the emails, the team meetings, like all of those,

187
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:20,240
all of those different tools that we have and these days with the constant things popping up,

188
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:27,440
it's like endless, right? Like it's hard to switch off, there's so much information being fed to us,

189
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:35,520
right? So a lot of times what I do with with my clients is like the start of the day, what do we typically

190
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:41,920
do when we wake up? We look at our phone, we turn on the news, we read the papers, right? That's

191
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:49,840
information being unloaded, right? Like really it's feeding into you and whether you are aware of it or

192
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:57,280
not, subconsciously, it impacts you. So you might see that post first thing in the morning that makes

193
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:02,880
you feel like not good enough. Oh, or you see something that somebody has achieved that you wanted

194
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:10,400
to achieve? The impact already, the energy of your day, or maybe you read a news of what is going

195
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:18,560
on in the world and you're like, this is the end, you know? So it can really feed into that anxiety

196
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:26,720
and really impact your productivity for the rest of the day. So instead of, you know, the world

197
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:35,600
influencing you, it's you being in charge and you saying, I'm going to start the day with something

198
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:41,360
that fills me, right? Whether it's meditating, whether it's journaling, whether it's praying,

199
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:48,400
whether it's going for a run, right? Like whatever that is, it's you starting the day you being in control

200
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:55,600
and you influencing your mental mindset rather than the world influencing you.

201
00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:03,680
Yeah, I love that. I also love Tonya, one of your taglines. I find it

202
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:11,360
very inspirational as someone who has been a lifelong goalsetter. I love your tagline. And she

203
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:17,360
big goals effortly, it really resonates with me because I've had big goals my whole life.

204
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:24,160
Can you unpack a little bit about what effort effort, effort, growth means and really how that

205
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:31,520
all works? Yes. So a lot of times people are very intrigued by the tagline because we always assume

206
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:39,360
it needs to be hard, right? Like achieving big goals is hard. And he is the difference. I'm not saying

207
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:45,520
don't work hard, right? We work hard, we play hard. But when you tap into your strengths and I use

208
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:52,800
a strength based approach, everything changes, right? When you access your strengths and you have

209
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:59,360
first of all understand what have a clear picture of what your strengths are, you really claim them,

210
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:03,520
you don't, we take our strengths for granted, we don't see them as anything special.

211
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:08,720
So we don't appreciate the nurture our own strengths because it's like, oh yeah, of course

212
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:14,000
that's what you do. It's like, no, some for some people, those things are really hard, but we take

213
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:20,400
our own strengths for granted. So we really need to reclaim our strengths and say, yes, that's me.

214
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:26,800
And then apply them to our goals, the whole journey looks different. And so it becomes effortless

215
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:34,960
because then all you do is what you do best every day, you know? And so that is how you can change

216
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:41,520
the way you work when you really understand and I have a, you know, kind of like a process. It's called

217
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:51,280
name it, claim it, aim it, name it, what is it? Identify it. To claim it, make it your own, right?

218
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:59,280
And number three, aim it, aim it to a specific goal. And when you do that, the journey becomes effortless.

219
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:09,360
I love that. That's really good, a really good analogy. Name it, aim it, name it, claim it, aim it.

220
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:15,440
Claim it. There we go. Name it, claim it, aim it. I love that. I know right now, I think there's a

221
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,400
sense of a lot of people are feeling stuck. They don't want to leave their company. They don't

222
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:26,800
want to go. They feel like they want something else. They, they're unsure, they're like analysis,

223
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:34,000
paralysis, unsure how to move forward in their career. What advice would you give those people?

224
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:42,320
Well, first of all, understand what you really grade at, you know? And if you're stuck in analysis,

225
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:48,960
paralysis, that might be your greatest strength, but analyze the right things, you know? We can get stuck,

226
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:55,840
you know, a lot of times our biggest, you know, our biggest strengths can seem like our biggest

227
00:24:55,840 --> 00:25:01,440
weakness, like a lot of times people can come to me and they say, everything that's wrong with me,

228
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:06,080
right? Ask them, what's, what's right with them that you will give you really mediocre answers,

229
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:12,080
ask them what's wrong with them. They will give you an entire list, you know? So I really understand,

230
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:17,920
you know, what that looks like. And then as you start seeing, as you're going through this journey,

231
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,880
oftentimes what you think is your biggest weakness is actually your biggest strength.

232
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,840
It's just a strength is only a strength when you productively apply it. And most of the time,

233
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:32,960
people just don't productively apply their strengths. So they look like weaknesses, just like analysis,

234
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:39,840
paralysis, you can overthink things, right? But take a step back and say, what kind of things do I

235
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:46,320
like to analyze? Where is it help serving me? And where is it not serving me? And then, you know,

236
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:53,760
taking that understanding, what are your strengths? You know, what excites you? What is of interest to you?

237
00:25:53,760 --> 00:26:00,560
What, where do you find meaning and purpose? Right? And then connecting, you know, those different,

238
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:05,280
you know, types of like what you excited about, what your purpose is, what you mean, where you

239
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:12,000
find meaning with your strengths combined will give you more than answer of what it is that you want to do.

240
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:20,240
I love that. And I think for me, a lot of times, my strengths are the same personally and professionally.

241
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:26,800
I use them the same way when I set personal goals versus professional roles because they all really

242
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:34,320
tie together. And how do you encourage people to really set these kind of goals? Because like you

243
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:40,320
were saying, you don't want to have a bunch of different goals and then we're not accomplishing anything.

244
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:46,640
So how do you work with clients to set not only just professional goals for their, their jobs and

245
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:51,200
their professional career, but also personal goals and how those kind of work together?

246
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:58,400
I would really zoom out. I like to call it the balcony view when you're like on the balcony and you

247
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:05,200
kind of like see an overview. It's almost like a movie of your life, right? And if you, you know,

248
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:12,800
what would a fulfilling and meaningful life look like for you? Right? It's almost like if you

249
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:19,440
wrote a book, you know, what kind of chapters would be in that book? What would you include in that book?

250
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:27,200
Right? What do you want to write about? What is it something that you're missing in your life that

251
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:34,880
you'd like to have more of? So that will really give you a good idea of, you know,

252
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:41,520
what kind of goals to set, whether it's professional or personal. Like for example, I didn't play table tennis

253
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:49,360
in so many years, but I really started noticing that this was such a big part of who I am and what I

254
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:54,480
thrive in and what fills my cup that became part of my personal goal to play again.

255
00:27:54,480 --> 00:28:04,480
That's great advice. I think a lot of times we, we forget that, right? We forget kind of the fun of

256
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:12,160
living. Yes. It's not just, um, constant achieving and constant goals. It's, it's really life just is

257
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:18,800
passing all of us by so fast and really like you were saying, setting these big goals and effortlessly

258
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:24,480
achieving them. And like you mentioned, I absolutely agree with the battery. Looking at your day, you

259
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:31,200
have so much, you know, you have 168 hours in a day. How are you spending it? Are you spending it on

260
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:38,000
things that zap that battery? Or are you spending it on things that really move you and you're passionate

261
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:43,760
about doing? I think your your mindset will be much different if you're doing things that that

262
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:53,200
make you feel energetic versus not. Exactly. Exactly. And often I have like some sort of an audit,

263
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:59,360
you know, an audit where you can really go through your day and kind of like analyze what just drained

264
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:04,480
me. Why do I feel drained? And there are different different things that can drain us, you know,

265
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:10,880
when it comes to burnout, there are different types of burnout. There is a mental burnout. There is

266
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:17,360
emotional burnout. There is physical burnout, right? So, you know, physical burnout or some of the

267
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:23,680
things that we talked about in terms of sleep and eating, exercising, right? Those are physical,

268
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:32,480
but then there is a mental, right? Focus, resilience, like those kind of things. And then there is

269
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:39,200
emotional. Are we are we feel, you know, are we feeling our cup? Do we have a time and space to express

270
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:46,000
our emotions? Right? Or are they just being kind of like suppressed? So we also need to take care of

271
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:53,920
our emotional well-being and then the respiratory, right? Do we feel connected? Do we feel like we have

272
00:29:53,920 --> 00:30:00,800
a purpose and meaning in our life? Yeah, I love that. I think that's a really great analogy.

273
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:07,520
Tony, I love everything that you shared today. Is there anything that we may have missed that you

274
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:15,920
want to share with our listeners today? I think one thing that I would love to add is, you know,

275
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:23,200
sometimes we can feel burned out because one thing that we often have to reassess and ask ourselves

276
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:28,240
so that we feel good enough, so that we feel like we're accomplishing is when my life to feel that

277
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:36,160
I can contribute the most, you know? And that often fills our cup because we all have a way to

278
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:43,360
contribute. So for those seeking either and trying to understand their next steps and kind of like

279
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:50,000
going through reflection and thinking about where to go next in their life is to ask themselves,

280
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:56,720
where do I want to contribute the most? And that will often reveal a lot of insight for yourself.

281
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:03,280
Let's and then take action, right? I think that's another really important part of goal setting is if,

282
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:09,040
you know, you're setting goals and you're not moving and taking action to achieve those goals,

283
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:16,640
you can spend a lot of time hoping, wishing, praying, meditating on your goals, but go out and make

284
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:22,400
mistakes, be messy with it, learn from it, and you might find that the goals you set are not

285
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:29,920
something you want to do. You might reset new goals. I know, it's a whole ton of that flash,

286
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:36,880
right when the pandemic happened, they were let go from their career in 2020. They decided,

287
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:41,600
there's a perfect time to start a business. They had already wanted to start a business. They did

288
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:47,360
it and then they decided business ownership wasn't for them. And it made them really appreciate

289
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:53,120
being a corporate employee and a W2 person in a different way of looking at things. And so they

290
00:31:53,120 --> 00:32:01,360
reset different goals and nothing finite and definite set it and then take action. Exactly.

291
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:07,840
Absolutely, absolutely. It's the only way for you to build that resilience and also, you know,

292
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:14,160
to understand like all the actions that you're taking are feedback, you know, and that is what we learn

293
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:20,800
in being an athlete, right? Like you know, by default, that you're going to lose games. You're not

294
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:28,000
always going to win, but you take all of that as information, as data points and you always just

295
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:34,800
improve. What are you going to do? This time. So when people are afraid to make mistakes,

296
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:42,480
it's like, take that as information, take this as data points to learn from, to understand what's

297
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,120
working and what's not as feedback so that you can always improve your game, you know, the same

298
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:53,520
goes in our professional personal life. It's always going to help you. Yeah, I love that. That's

299
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:59,520
really great advice. I want to thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your time today

300
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:05,040
with our listeners. And that's the Executive Connect podcast.