1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,460 Stories and content in weird darkness can be disturbing for some listeners and is intended for mature audiences only. 2 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:08,760 Brandl discretion is strongly advised. 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:21,500 Welcome weirdos, I'm Darren Marlar, and this is Weird Darkness. 4 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:29,000 Here you'll find stories of the paranormal, supernatural, legends, more, the strange and bizarre. 5 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Crime, conspiracy, mysterious, macabre, unsolved, and unexplained. 6 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,000 Coming up in this episode, it's The Real Earth Thursday. 7 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 This week I have two stories for you. 8 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,000 First up, what could possibly be creepy about an old set of eyeglasses? 9 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,000 We'll find out in the story, "Akulari." 10 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:56,000 Then it's a fictional story written by John Allen, and the title alone is clickable, isn't it? 11 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,000 Jennifer, love you, it made me do it. 12 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000 If you're new here, welcome to the show. 13 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,000 While you're listening, be sure to check out WeirdDarkness.com for merchandise, 14 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:09,000 my newsletter, to enter contests, to connect with me on social media. 15 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,000 Plus, you can visit the Hope in the Darkness page if you're struggling with depression or dark thoughts. 16 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,000 You can find all of that and more at WeirdDarkness.com. 17 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Now, bolt your doors. 18 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Lock your windows. 19 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000 Turn off your lights. 20 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,000 And come with me into the WeirdDarkness. 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:44,000 In my room, on my desk, sits a black plastic casing, which holds my glasses. 22 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,000 They have a power of -9, and they were very expensive to wear. 23 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:55,000 When I was younger, my mother used to warn me about sitting too close to the television. 24 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,000 She used to tell me that my eyesight would get progressively worse, 25 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,000 and I'd either end up eating glasses or my eyes would simply be bad enough to make me legally blind. 26 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:10,000 Being an overly obnoxious nine-year-old, I never listened to her. 27 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:15,000 So, whenever my favorite cartoon or TV show was on, 28 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:21,000 I would scurry to the living room and rest my head and inch away from the TV screen. 29 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:26,000 I figured the closer I got to the TV, the closer I could get to the show. 30 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:32,000 Whenever my mother found out about this, she would yell at me about how expensive glasses would be, 31 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000 and that we couldn't afford even a single pair. 32 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:41,000 She then proceeded to slap the back of my head so hard that I would accidentally bite my tongue, 33 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,000 or unpleasantly acquaint my face with the hard TV screen. 34 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,000 It happened every time, and I always ignored her. 35 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Until one day, she got to say, "I told you so, and we were forced to get me a pair of glasses." 36 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:02,000 Because we couldn't afford to buy new ones, she took me all over the neighborhood, 37 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,000 to find a used pair that did the job well enough. 38 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:12,000 And, so it continued until my eyes settled at a power of -9. 39 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Finding a used pair of glasses that would suffice was hell. 40 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,000 We eventually spotted a proper pair at an antique store. 41 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:28,000 The store was filled with objects and trinkets that could have come straight out of a horror movie. 42 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:35,000 Most of it, including the elderly woman who was sitting behind the counter, looked fit for a use by witches. 43 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:41,000 The woman was wearing sunglasses that were much too dark for the dusky little store. 44 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:48,000 My mother asked how much they would cost, and the woman simply replied, "Very expensive." 45 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,000 She seemed to be blind because she never looked at my mother while they spoke about the price, 46 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,000 but she stared intently at me. 47 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:02,000 Even as we left the store, I could tell that she was following me with her gaze. 48 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,000 Made the hares of my neck stand on end. 49 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,000 Despite being very ugly, the glasses did the trick. 50 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:16,000 She had to work seven days a week for months in order to earn back what it had cost, 51 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,000 but at least my eyesight didn't seem to get any worse. 52 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Needless to say that my glasses were a necessity. 53 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,000 Without them, I was essentially a baby in a suit. 54 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:36,000 I had to look out for every little thing, so as not to break or otherwise damage this life-saving piece of technology. 55 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:42,000 Eventually, my girlfriend and I grew tired of having to always watch out for my glasses. 56 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:48,000 And so, after a lot of coursing, she managed to talk me into getting laser eye surgery. 57 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,000 I can't say that I've ever regretted making that choice. 58 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:58,000 It was wonderful seeing things perfectly clear again without wearing my glasses. 59 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:04,000 At first, the discomfort was horrible, but eventually it faded, and I got my perfect eyesight back. 60 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,000 I felt like a new man reborn with the eyes of a god. 61 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:14,000 I'm a sentimental idiot, and so I never managed to throw my old glasses away. 62 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:20,000 Months and years passed until one day, when we were packing our stuff because we were moving to a new town, 63 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,000 I stumbled upon the old, plastic casing of my massively expensive glasses. 64 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Holding them again, after such a long time felt strangely nostalgic. 65 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:38,000 They were once incredibly important to me, enabling me to live like a reasonably average human being. 66 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:48,000 I may have actually shed a small tear or two, and in my nostalgia, I wanted to wear them again, even for just a little while. 67 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:54,000 Looking through glasses, if you don't need them, is bad for your eyes, but I figured, 68 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 "Yeah, quick peek wouldn't hurt too much." 69 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:02,000 The moment, the pads rested on my nose and the temple tips nestled gently behind my ears, 70 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,000 I could feel something was wrong. 71 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,000 My eyesight wasn't distorted at all, despite what I'd expected. 72 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:16,000 In fact, when I think back, it might have actually improved marginally. 73 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Naturally, as any sane person would, I was confused and wanted to take them off to reassure myself that my eyesight was still perfect without them. 74 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:34,000 But they wouldn't, but, much, no matter how hard I pulled, and I pulled really hard, 75 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:44,000 I could assure you that the pads stayed perfectly still on my nose, and the entire damn thing wouldn't move so much as a millimeter. 76 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,000 At this point, I was freaking the hell out. I called out to my girlfriend, 77 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:54,000 who'd been in the kitchen packing our cutlery and plates and such, but she didn't reply. 78 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,000 At first, I figured she must have heard me, so I launched myself out of the chair I'd been sitting in, 79 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,000 wanting to make my way to the kitchen with all sorts of haste. 80 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Beyond the door, however, was a desolate empty house, where only moments before a vibrant new home of a loving couple had been. 81 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:23,000 The previously white wallpaper was filled with holes and patches of mold, and it slanted away from the wall as if it had grown tired of its own existence. 82 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:30,000 Behind the wallpaper were cracks in the wall, as if the house had been abandoned for a hundred years. 83 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:40,000 The wooden floor beneath my feet creaked so much, I feared it would cave in, and the roof above my head was already partially on the floor. 84 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:44,000 Through the holes of the roof, I could see the sky. 85 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Clouds rolled over each other, as if at war with themselves, and in the distance, I could see the sun rising, leaving a blood-red stain on the deck of clouds, as it pierced through them like a knife through soft flesh. 86 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:08,000 I called her name again, suddenly fearing for her life. My legs were trembling, but they obeyed me and moved faster than they had before. 87 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:15,000 When I finally made it to the kitchen, it was as empty and decayed as the rest of the house had been. 88 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:21,000 The stench of wroughts and decay penetrated by nose and my gag reflex automatically sat in. 89 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Panic and fear mixed in my stomach, and I ran out of the house into a world that was completely and utterly dead. 90 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:35,000 There were no people, no animals, no plants. 91 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:39,000 There was no sound other than that made by the wind. 92 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:47,000 I was completely alone in a place that seemed to be rotten and saturated with death. 93 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:57,000 My fear fueled my adrenaline, and with all the strength in my arms, I pulled at the eyeglasses, but they still would not move. 94 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:06,000 I closed my eyes, took several deep breaths, and then punched the contraption of plastic and metal and glass that englooted itself to my face, 95 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:13,000 and was showing me the end of the world. I punched until I couldn't feel my face, my knuckles were raw. 96 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:24,000 Her gasp is what woke me up. She was standing in the doorway, with a horrified look on her face, as if her worst nightmare was coming true. 97 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:30,000 It filled me with worry, but the sight of her dampened my fears with love and relief. 98 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:38,000 I crawled to my feet, wanting to wrap her in my arms and hold her. I wanted to make sure this was real, and that she was safe. 99 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:49,000 But she shied away from me as if she feared that I would attack her. Her eyes briefly darted over me before feverishly fixating on my face again. 100 00:09:49,000 --> 00:10:02,000 I reached out to her again hoping that she would understand that I wanted to hold her in my arms, but those very arms were covered all over with red, sticky, wetness. 101 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:08,000 I felt no pain, so that must mean it was someone else's blood. 102 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:17,000 Disgusting, and terror gripped my heart, and I frantically ran my eyes over her entire body, while she stood frozen in the doorway. 103 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:28,000 The only thought going through my mind was "did I hurt her?" She all right, and I wanted to tell her that I had no memory of whatever it happened, and that I would make sure everything would be okay. 104 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:38,000 No sound came from my mouth. It was as if there was an emptiness in my throat that swallowed all sound I was trying to produce. 105 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:49,000 I tried talking again, but all I could hear was "low gurgling coming from the back of my throat," followed by the horrific scream that came from the woman I loved. 106 00:10:49,000 --> 00:11:00,000 She turned on her heels and bolted away. I started chasing her, ignoring the wet, disgusting feeling on the rest of my body that I had finally become aware of. 107 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:11,000 The stickiness didn't matter. All that mattered to me was to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that I loved her, and that we would make it through this if we stuck together. 108 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:21,000 She reached the front door, pulled it open, and ran out before slimbing its shut behind her, with such a force that it rattled the mirrors in the hallway. 109 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:29,000 I passed them by and glanced briefly from the corners of my eyes, except there were no eyes. 110 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:39,000 Two caves of rotting flesh stared back at me, oozing blood that crawled down my face and stained my clothes a dark filthy red. 111 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:47,000 My mouth opened in a horror, with that only made it worse. In my mouth was an emptiness. 112 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:54,000 My tongue had been cut out, and the same disgusting blood was bubbling up and over my shredded lips. 113 00:11:54,000 --> 00:12:00,000 I wanted to scream, but I was met with nothing but a guggle. 114 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:15,000 I stood still for minutes staring at the horrific creature in the mirror. It's hollow, bleeding eye sockets, stared back at me, and in the far reaches of my mind I wondered how that could be, how could I see without eyes? 115 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:26,000 But then I remembered, an old woman, who wore sunglasses in the gloomy store, as if she were blind, and my mind made the connection. 116 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Back in my room, on my desk, sits a black plastic casing, which held my old glasses. 117 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:46,000 They had a power of mine as nine, and were very, very expensive to wear. 118 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:55,000 When we're darkness returns, it's a story that I personally consider a classic creepypasta, not because it's been around so long, but because it is so well written by one of the people. 119 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,000 Written by one of my favorite authors. 120 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Weirdly, Woods author John Allen brings us Jennifer Love, Hewitt, made me do it. 121 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000 Up next. 122 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:22,000 On the day of his execution, a serial killer gets a psychiatric evaluation. 123 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000 Evil isn't that clinical diagnosis. 124 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000 He claims he is a demon. 125 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000 You believe in demonic possession. 126 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 It also claims that before their time is over. 127 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Forgive me something to make me believe you. 128 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000 Okay. 129 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000 Let me inhabit you. 130 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,000 Based on the novel from best-selling author Steve Dase. 131 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000 He got here, he did. 132 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 A new kind of horror. 133 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000 A claim to be a demon. 134 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000 He's a master of an impulator. 135 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,000 By the time he's done with you, you have your head soaked twist around, you think you're the killer. 136 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,000 Do you believe in the devil? 137 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,000 We believe here today you will have committed three murders. 138 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 It doesn't matter. 139 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000 Why would I do that? 140 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 He believes. 141 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 What are you doing? 142 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 In. 143 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000 My name is Nefaria. 144 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 It means your importance. 145 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000 You. 146 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 They have power. 147 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000 And everyone knows who we are. 148 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Sean Patrick Flanary. 149 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 He is. 150 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000 Nefarias. 151 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Opening April 14th. 152 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,000 Visit WhoisNefarias.com. 153 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:30,000 [Music] 154 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,000 Jennifer Love Hewitt made me do it. 155 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:39,000 That's a little rhyme I've created because these days I can only live in my mind. 156 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,000 And I've run out of ways to nurture my sanity. 157 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000 It's true though. 158 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000 Silly poem or not. 159 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Jennifer Love Hewitt made me do it. 160 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000 But not really. 161 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,000 Well, perhaps. 162 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000 Maybe. 163 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 Maybe not. 164 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 I don't know anymore. 165 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:05,000 I suppose if I'm honest with myself, that sad replica of a poem is misleading. 166 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,000 But maybe she did make me do it. 167 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000 Or maybe I'm a lunatic? 168 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000 No. 169 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000 That's too far. 170 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,000 lunatic is a poor descriptor. 171 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Allow me to note that this isn't some weird celebrity obsession. 172 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Like that disturbed guy trying to impress Jodie Foster back in the day by shooting the president. 173 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 Let's get that out of the way. 174 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,000 I'm way too lazy to stalk or creep on anybody. 175 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:37,000 My bold proclamation is, however, the excuse I'm using. 176 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,000 As I suffer through my third year of this thing. 177 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,000 I'm not sure how else to label it. 178 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000 How was it? 179 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,000 I was only my third year. 180 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:53,000 And only 17 rotations of the sun left to go. 181 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:57,000 And explanation seems appropriate before I ran Milan. 182 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000 So indulge me. 183 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000 And I will enlighten you. 184 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,000 I'm a victim of two things. 185 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,000 nostalgia and myself. 186 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,000 See, I turned 44 years old. 187 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:15,000 And those twin digits were a double barrel shotgun blast of regret and dread. 188 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 It seemed impossible. 189 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 And I could not accept it. 190 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:24,000 But if you look at my birth certificate, you'll see it for the archaic scroll that it is. 191 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,000 1977. 192 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Good gosh. 193 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:36,000 In aged ink from a stupid typewriter nonetheless, you'd see my name, Christopher Michael 194 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:43,000 Brooks, even the frayed yellowing paper could sell at an antique shop. 195 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,000 My point is life is a terminal illness. 196 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:53,000 And at my absolute luckiest, that was halfway finished with the grueling marathon. 197 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000 The demise of my youth fumbarded me overnight. 198 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 And I never saw it coming. 199 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:03,000 Never realized how much of a lightning flash time actually is. 200 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000 Well, was. 201 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:11,000 These days it lingers, drags and festers. 202 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,000 But before all of this, it was set on fast forward. 203 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 This movie called Life. 204 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,000 One day I was bathing in the fountain of youth. 205 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000 And the next, the fountain was drained. 206 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:30,000 The drained itself clawed with hair that once rented from an out vacant lot of real estate I call my scalp. 207 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,000 I must I lament and be moan with such fervor. 208 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:40,000 I do so because the good old days were truly that for me. 209 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,000 A wonderland of hope that you foric dream escape. 210 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,000 A glorious domain I alone rained over. 211 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Giving it words is beyond my capabilities. 212 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,000 It's like trying to describe a color that doesn't exist. 213 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000 I had it all. I truly did. 214 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:05,000 Then the nasty albatross that is the granular sand inside the hourglass had to destroy everything. 215 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Somewhere along the path with my peers, I veered off the trail like a lost sheep. 216 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,000 While the rest of the herd stopped at the normal tourist traps. 217 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 Love. 218 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Marriages. 219 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000 Homes. Kids. 220 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Carriers. 221 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000 A life. 222 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:29,000 Not me. I remained lost somewhere off that proverbial beaten path. 223 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,000 And the sun never set past what I considered my prime. 224 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,000 The best days of my life. 225 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:42,000 Then one stupid birthday came and I found myself wrestling with my mortality. 226 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,000 I don't even know how to apply a headlock. 227 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,000 This is where J. Love comes in. 228 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:54,000 It's not presumptuous to call her that. It's what people of a certain age know her as. 229 00:18:54,000 --> 00:19:00,000 And again, it's not really about Jennifer Love, hewit the person anyway. 230 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:09,000 She's more of a metaphor, which is unfair to her because she grew as an actor and still is a brand today. 231 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000 So it's not her fault I'd show as her as the avatar for an entire era. 232 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:19,000 In fact, the truth of her still being a brand under herself is what crushed me. 233 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Because every time I saw her on a TV show or a movie in the modern day, 234 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000 I was reminded of my special times. 235 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000 And she become a faded teen star. 236 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,000 I might not have had a trigger for my melancholic nostalgia. 237 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:41,000 Am I warped mind? Her continued success allowed her to remain in the public eye. 238 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,000 Which in turn allowed her to become the face of my generations peak. 239 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:51,000 She was the queen of the time I hold so dear. 240 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 She was royalty. 241 00:19:53,000 --> 00:20:00,000 We all bowed to her and seeing her in recent years violently jerked my emotions to a lost time. 242 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,000 A refresher for the uninitiated, 243 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:10,000 often I forget that people exist that aren't old enough to have seen the lost boys in a movie theater, 244 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,000 or the explosion of the Challenger on live TV. 245 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:19,000 It befuddles my entire essence that adults exist that are younger than me. 246 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:25,000 Kids I'm fine with, but adults let's just move on to J-love. 247 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,000 Her blip on our radar began in 1984 with that show Party of Five. 248 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000 And between the insane number of magazine covers, 249 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:39,000 the I know what you did last summer franchise, and all the other movies, during those years, 250 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:49,000 Jennifer Love Hewitt might have owned 1997 and 1998 more than any celebrity has ever owned a chunk of time. 251 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:55,000 She was tattooed with that whole girl next door if you live next door to the playboy mansion thing, 252 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000 which must have been quite a burden the more I think about it. 253 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,000 To be so young and ridden with labels, 254 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:10,000 but truth is she was the it girl. She was everyone's crush. I mean everyone. 255 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:16,000 As I see it, there are three levels of physical attraction a person might possess. 256 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:22,000 There is of course irresistibly cuddly and adorable, where you almost feel protective. 257 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,000 Then there's the classic beauty that belongs at a painting in some museum. 258 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Lastly, there's the smoke show, the Sultry Sex symbol you can't look away from. 259 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,000 Well, have one of these traits is to win the genetic lottery. 260 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:42,000 J-love, she had all three. 261 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:49,000 And on top of that, she could act, sing, and by all accounts was a sweet and genuine soul. 262 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:54,000 So of course, she was my shared crush, along with millions of others. 263 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:59,000 There's a reason she was chosen for the first cover of teen people magazine. 264 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:08,000 There's a reason she was everywhere in the pop culture lexicon and no one ever even to this day has developed J-love fatigue. 265 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:16,000 Now, I'm saying all of this to say that those years of 97 and 98 were the time of my life, 266 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,000 which real J-love fans know as a well placed pun. 267 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:27,000 Look under her wiki television filmography or something, because I already feel like I'm coming off as a lifeless fanboy. 268 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:35,000 And I'm not obsessed enough to recite her IMDB page, but I do stand by the cleverness of the pun I just laid down. 269 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:41,000 As it was, I was twenty, twenty one years old during the years I mentioned. 270 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:47,000 And I was a bit of a local sensation, a guy with the it-bacter, much like J-love. 271 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:55,000 I had more friends in real life than the fake ones people today have on social media, which by the way was not a thing yet, 272 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,000 and allowed us to actually attend life. 273 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:05,000 I had muscles, I couldn't name, I had style, I had the good hair. 274 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,000 A different girl every night if I wanted, man without question. 275 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:14,000 A simple, jaw-to-fits-willies pub, my empire at the time, 276 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:20,000 and it just happened without much effort, defending on whether my girl and I were on a break. 277 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:26,000 A party on campus at any given time was easier than finding my anthropology class. 278 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:33,000 I could walk into any club in town and cut the line and become the main character within seconds. 279 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:39,000 I even followed my fantasy of becoming a comedian and began attending open mic nights at Gobananas. 280 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:47,000 As I thought I was pretty funny and charismatic, naturally owed it to the world not to deprive them of my comedic genius. 281 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:53,000 In those days the jokes were mostly about Monica Lewinsky, or this new blue pill for men, 282 00:23:53,000 --> 00:24:01,000 or maybe the Titanic movie or whatever else was topical, probably ripped off material I subconsciously stole from Letterman. 283 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:06,000 The routine got left, though, even if my frat brothers were the ones in the crowd laughing. 284 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:12,000 These were, indeed, the undisputed, very best days of my life. 285 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:20,000 The future had yet to be written. Those dreams of becoming a stand-up were interspersed with backup glimpses of a career in medicine, 286 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:29,000 or law, or whatever the heck I wanted. Everything I desired was set on tomorrow, and everything I yearned for was attainable. 287 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:38,000 What was yet to come was always going to be there, and there was no rush because my existence back then was so perfect. 288 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:51,000 Jennifer love hewitt, simply because her behemoth of a star began to shine around the same time as my little dwarf star became a symbol of those days through Osmosis, to know fault of her own. 289 00:24:51,000 --> 00:25:00,000 I find it ironic that nowadays, most of us are inching towards an age where her next sequel could be called "I forgot what you did last summer." 290 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:06,000 At least that's why I position it from my lonely vantage, which is a lopsided affair. 291 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:15,000 I'm just seeking to share my current misery, and she has no reason to be besmirched by someone like me slinging silly barbs like that. 292 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:26,000 Honestly, look at her now, and she gets younger with age. To the point where maybe science should take a look at her because something celestial is happening there. 293 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:32,000 Science might also have a few questions regarding the extreme opposite approach my body took with me. 294 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:39,000 But yes, back to the glory years, the best days of my life. 295 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:48,000 As I mentioned, what was to come was always going to be there until one day. It wasn't there. 296 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:59,000 Our story, Jennifer love hewitt, made me do it by John Allen, continues in just a moment on Weird Darkness. 297 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:14,000 [Music] 298 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Welcome, Weird Darkness! 299 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:23,000 Hey, truckers, here are the road behind the wheel of a tractor trailer for a living. I have a contest just for you. 300 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,000 Every month, I'm doing a random drawing from entries I receive and he deadhead truckers contest. 301 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:39,000 Go to WeirdDarkness.com/truckers and register to win. If I draw out your name, you'll win two Weird Darkness trucker T-shirts, two travel mugs, a large pillow and a blank hard mag journal. 302 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:48,000 If you listen to Weird Darkness, because handling 18 wheels alone on the road by yourself just isn't scary enough, then this monthly contest is for you. 303 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,000 Register to win at your next 10-100 and visit WeirdDarkness.com/truckers. 304 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,000 That's WeirdDarkness.com/truckers. 305 00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:09,000 [Music] 306 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I mentioned I'm three years into this, so I'll take it back to one night. The last night just barely beyond three years ago when this began. 307 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:34,000 The wretched birthday had passed, it was a night no different than the others. I was hunched over in the dark, my kitchen table in my squalor of an apartment, the lone trace of illumination buzzing from the television in the adjacent living room. 308 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:43,000 I wasn't really watching because like any other Wednesday night, my lips had been glued to a bottle of dine store whiskey since my shift to the factory ended. 309 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:53,000 All day long, lugging heavy packages around until my twisted bones ached and screamed for mercy just to barely pay the rent for all of my laborers. 310 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:58,000 My existence was physically and mentally taxing. 311 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:07,000 Therapy would have been a wonderful option for the state my mind had dwindled to, but such luxuries only exist for the wealthy. 312 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:16,000 When you can't afford insurance, you self-medicate, I suppose, and the whiskey had been curing my ailment for years. 313 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:29,000 I wasn't always this way. I clung to hope for a while. I used to still try my hand on open mic nights on Wednesdays like this one, but my references were aging. 314 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:41,000 No one wanted to hear me riff on dial up internet or y2k. Way back when, during the good years, as I'll call them here out, I held the audience in a palm of my hand. 315 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:47,000 In recent times, I was met with uncomfortable coughing or a crowd morphed into their cellphones. 316 00:28:47,000 --> 00:29:00,000 Comedy, I convinced myself, had died by the year 2000. I knew I was gifted, the people they were the problem. Like everything else that had infused me with life during the good years, 317 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:13,000 Comedy vanished like a specter in the barren shadows. When that dream whimpered into oblivion, that was when I began sitting at my kitchen table and drinking myself through the pain. 318 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:21,000 I replaced my losses with booze, and since I lost so much, you can imagine how much I'd drank. 319 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:33,000 This particular Wednesday, the last I would ever have in that form, was a snowy affair. The landscape outside my cracked window, a marshmallow dream of white. 320 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:39,000 These were lonely, often angry nights that I playcated with escapades of the mind. 321 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:52,000 Escapades that took on predictable forms. Sometimes I would scroll through social media and see the happy faces of long-lost friends, with their families and kids and pick advances, and past judgment. 322 00:29:52,000 --> 00:30:01,000 The jokes on you, I would grunt aloud, trying to convince myself, "He here stuck behind a nine to five, and parent teacher conferences in an Aggie wife. 323 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:10,000 I'm free man, free to conquer whatever world I want. No one could tie me down, no one's going to stop me!" 324 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:20,000 Of course, that was just jealousy. I was quite adept in crushing the very achievements of those I envied. We all have a talent, I suppose. 325 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:30,000 For a while, I'd find myself implanted with random bursts of drive. On the laptop, I'd send out copious amounts of resumes that would never be responded to. 326 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:41,000 Or I would sign up for dating sites, or even live chat with AA sponsors and set plans to heal myself the next day, which never happened. 327 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:51,000 These moments were quite rare, these booster shots of drunken ambition and endorphins soon they ceased to exist. 328 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:57,000 Mostly, though, the drink would engorge me and somber yearning, and I'd remember the good years. 329 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:08,000 To pull an example from the top of my head, I'd watch the 1997 Rose Bowl on the old VHS tape, my anxiety still paramount, even though I knew who won that game. 330 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:22,000 Doing so took me back to the Delta Kai Fran House, where, once upon a time, I watched that same football game live in a drunken haze, my fingers covered in buffalo wing sauce, and my voice gone by the second quarter. 331 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:30,000 Trying to remember who the chick was in fruitless, but I'll never forget her face when I accidentally smeared the sauce on her cream-ca-pre-pants. 332 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:40,000 The boys laughed as she ran off to the kitchen sink in tears, and I played along as if the accident was just another intentional prank by the resident comedian. 333 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:47,000 That one memory comes to mind, but I'd go on to relive a thousand of them all of the time. 334 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:51,000 That was just one story in a never-ending book. 335 00:31:51,000 --> 00:32:01,000 It was standard on these nights to sit at the kitchen table, and drink in my quiet solitude, as my gadget played exclusive hits from the 90s. 336 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:08,000 That was an outlier to the present, than I refused to adapt because I didn't believe in the world as it had become. 337 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:20,000 Fault existed in my bubble, but I would never touch it. I was always waiting for someone to claim it, and when no one did, I would assign it to undeserving people or events with ease. 338 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:29,000 Back to the final Wednesday, though I could have been a Tuesday or a Sunday, the routine remained unblemished no matter what the day. 339 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:38,000 It was a typical binge on that frigid win-tree overnight, and I could see my breath inside the shoddy insulation that hugged my apartment. 340 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:43,000 Where would I go? Where would my mind travel to this time? 341 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:55,000 My drunken levels had approached takeoff. The nightly time machine roared, the gears of an e-briation and memory shifting with reckless abandon. It was an exact science. 342 00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:04,000 Images of carry. The girl I still thought was my everything over two decades later had begun swirling about. 343 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:08,000 This was a favorite amongst my predictable mental excursions. 344 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:17,000 I beslumped in my uncomfortable wicker chair at the kitchen table, besieged with the drink, and reliving our time together as if it had been a recent reality. 345 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:24,000 Deep down I knew that my college sweetheart might remember me as a footnote if we accidentally met on the streets. 346 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:32,000 But there I was, desperately clinging to something that I forced myself to believe could one day possibly still be. 347 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Like I'd seen in those rom-coms that poison our minds with unrealistic expectations. 348 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:45,000 The gadget played intergalactic by the beastie boys in the background, which brought a smile on my face. 349 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:53,000 Visions of carry morphed into another memory. Hearing that music reminded me of the countless times I would open the doors to the club, 350 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:59,000 and that same song muffled bass, seconds prior, smacked me in the face like a sledgehammer. 351 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Next, it rotated, don't want a miss a thing by aerosmith, which had been overplayed on the radio so much at the time that even on this final Wednesday I had to turn the dial. 352 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:21,000 The app randomized from songs that were amazing life bookmarks to songs I had forgotten existed, the volume growing with each sip of muddy brown liquor. 353 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:30,000 All was well and typical for a while on this final Wednesday, that a boy band from the 90s went ahead and ruined my life. 354 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,000 Again I'll explain. 355 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:37,000 You remember the song? It was catchy as heck. 356 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:42,000 We spree you and a falling star, wondering where you are. 357 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:51,000 In 1999 a boy band named LFO dropped this single, and it was written about, can you guess? Jennifer love you it. 358 00:34:51,000 --> 00:35:02,000 Not only that, she even appeared in the video for the song, because if you're not old enough to recall, MTV used to play these things called music videos. 359 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:12,000 Well during this winter of my discontent, right around the witching hour of three in the morning, my gadget began to hum this diddy. 360 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:24,000 This is what I was talking about. Something would always pop up involving J-love, a TV show, a magazine, an online article that I would start reminiscing. 361 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:33,000 It's like when you see 11, 11 on a clock once, and suddenly it appears everywhere, and becomes all you will ever see. 362 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:43,000 Lately though, the sheer volume of these pop-ups had begun to freak me out. On my final Wednesday, the trigger came in the form of a song. 363 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:56,000 And as each bubblegum lyric of this guilty pleasure brought joy to my ears, I began to fall back into my Jennifer love hewitt crush, which allowed my mind to become nestled in that safe space. 364 00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:05,000 Then I did what I always did, and began to journey even deeper back to those good years in a dream state, smiling all the while. 365 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:12,000 First I found myself in Fitzwillie's pub, like one of those ghosts in that Dickens Christmas tale. 366 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:21,000 It had to be 1998 since I was in a bar that carted and had just turned 21. Everything was so vibrant and alive. 367 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Conversation drowned out the jukebox that was always stuck on sublime or shenai a twain due to the diverse crowds found in a college town. 368 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:42,000 No devices to distract us from living, Pam and Steve were behind the bar, unaged, slinging Yager-myster by the gallon because, well that was what we all drank then. 369 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:48,000 Steve died a few years back, so it was wonderful to see him again, if not eerie. 370 00:36:48,000 --> 00:37:01,000 A late summer night, the festive holiday lights still hung ironically from the wall, and I followed a strand of flickering bulbs to the corner table, my table where I saw my younger self. 371 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,000 I was in such good shape. 372 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:18,000 Kiri was by my side, where left hand and my back jean pocket. On the boys through electronic darts and made plans for the after party. There was always an after party because we drank until McDonald's would finally open the breakfast menu. 373 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Then we would start art and redo the entire chaotic scene the next evening. Still looking like a million bucks. Somehow. 374 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:37,000 My eyes fixated on Kiri and I was conscious in my hypnotic state of the smile plastered across my kisser. She was always a raving beauty. 375 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:44,000 And I don't know if I was in love or in lust, but I was definitely in something at the time. 376 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:49,000 And revisiting this scene didn't merely tug at my heartstrings. 377 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:56,000 Rather, it took the ten strongest men alive and collectively, they tore away at my innards. 378 00:37:56,000 --> 00:38:04,000 This vision remained until it could no longer began to fade into another as they always did. 379 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:10,000 Next I found myself in the oval, the grassy refuge in the middle of our suburban campus. 380 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:19,000 A brisk fall after noon, groups formed, the hacky sat crowd with their clothes scented tweed ponchos and white man dreads. 381 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:25,000 They did their thing under a sicker mortuary, always waving away smoke and keeping an eye out for security. 382 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:31,000 The frizz began were well spread out, and as usual I watched the one guy who wasn't quite skilled like the others, 383 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:39,000 throw an arat disc that landed near a group of freshmen girls on a blanket, who were chasing attention and some sun rays. 384 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:46,000 Then my youthful doppelganger appeared again over by mirror lake, a shirt off, of course. 385 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:52,000 A barely recognized myself, or that v-shaped musculature that ran down my lower abdomen. 386 00:38:52,000 --> 00:39:03,000 A typical game of tackle football was a foot, and I ran deep and fast like a beautiful gazelle, catching the ball just barely on my fingertips and cruising past the sidewalk our makeshift and zone. 387 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,000 For the touchdown. 388 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:11,000 Of course I did, this was my life back then, in the good years. 389 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:22,000 The MC called my name in the next loos of flashback, and I watched my younger self hop from a crowded table of drunken friends onto the stage at the open mic at the comedy club. 390 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,000 Simply astonishing. The confidence and presence I had back then. 391 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:34,000 The living in a memory I laughed at jokes I hadn't heard since I last told them nearly a quarter of a century ago. 392 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:40,000 I watched myself command the stage with cadence and grace. 393 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:45,000 The similarities between former president Nixon and current president Clinton are insane if you think about it. 394 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,000 The good years mean you rift to the crowd. 395 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:54,000 Nixon had watergate. Clinton has waterbed. Nixon's greatest fear was the cold war. 396 00:39:54,000 --> 00:40:03,000 Slick Willy, a cold sore. I can go on folks. Nixon was worried about carpet bombs. Clinton worried about carpet burns. 397 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,000 And let's discuss that nickname, Dixon had. 398 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:10,000 Tricky dick. Does it or doesn't not apply to both? 399 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:20,000 But seriously, everyone. Not to get too political, but my words on stage, traildough, just as that particular memory did. 400 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:31,000 When I pilgrimage had one remaining stop. And it concluding mental journey that final Wednesday night, my mind took me to the most wonderful place I had ever laid my head. 401 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:40,000 Walking into my fraternity bedroom at a cloud of whimsical musing was like rushing home from elementary school to the aroma of homemade cookies. 402 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:47,000 It was just so perfect and right. And from the peaches of a fairy tale crafted for young men. 403 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:55,000 Everything was as I had left it. The unmade bed with the soft crimson linen sheets my mom bought for me. 404 00:40:55,000 --> 00:41:05,000 With that lilac scent I never could replicate. The enormous bulbous blue eye-mack computer in the corner that took two strapping lads to carry. 405 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:13,000 Same with the television, with the protruding heavy bass in the rear that caused the set to be two feet off any outlet it was plugged into. 406 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:21,000 There was a pile of laundry, all Abercrombian fish clothes that couldn't be painted on me in my current state. 407 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:33,000 Then there was the endless array of empty liquor bottles. Basic college bro decor at the time, filled with fish tank pebbles that radiated a unique spectrum of colors as the black light hit them. 408 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:43,000 The Malibu rum bottle always looked decoulished for some reason. Maybe it was the way the lighting cast a spotlight on my initiation paddle. 409 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:52,000 Another accoutrement of the Frat boy starter kit. The marquee piece of course was in blazing right above the head of my bed against the wall. 410 00:41:52,000 --> 00:42:03,000 Crowds started to crate in classic 90s jeans and dock martin black boots, she wore a rose infused top and an effervescent smile. Such a pure smile. 411 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:11,000 Unburdened by the flowing locks of Auburn hair that shaped her perfect oval face an amazing chin. 412 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:18,000 Her eyes were magical and mesmerizing and had a way of piercing through the satin photo paper. 413 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,000 It was my Jay Love poster. 414 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:28,000 And again, this is why I see Jennifer Love Hewitt and the good years as synonymous. 415 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:35,000 Remaining stuck in the moment as long as I could, I held the deep grip on bliss, 416 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:44,000 and did it all slowly fluttered back to the present. By the time I was 44, drunk at my kitchen table again, slapped awake by reality. 417 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:52,000 The gadget was playing stone temple pilots, and my imaginations nightly sojourn to the good years was over. 418 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:58,000 Sadness enveloped me at warp speed, as if to remind me of my place in a real world. 419 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:03,000 Cruel endings like this always accompanied my fantasy world. 420 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:08,000 And we're no different than the hangovers that followed these liquor-soaked nights. 421 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:16,000 This time, the abrupt ending really did something to me though. I had these flashbacks as consistently as I breathed, but on this occasion, 422 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:23,000 what would become the final Wednesday night, the brutish snapback to reality was more overwhelming than ever. 423 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:32,000 Actual, physical, peeing, numbed my body, and the liquor did not exempt me from the emotional turmoil this time. 424 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:39,000 In my throat, a lump caused me to squeeze the top of my nose bridge around the eyes just so I wouldn't cry. 425 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:46,000 This was a new twist indeed. My existence was consumed with dread and regret, 426 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:53,000 and I knew that I would not be able to swallow either of these feelings or enough whiskey to hide the torment. 427 00:43:53,000 --> 00:44:05,000 In a fleeting moment of clarity, I understood that the reason I longed for days passed was because I had done nothing since then that was worth remembering. 428 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:11,000 Some consciously I always understood this, but now I knew the blistering truth. 429 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:19,000 The blame was mine, solely not the world or my perception of it, I was the problem. 430 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:34,000 I was the enemy of my own happiness. Now at 44 years of age, I had not only wasted precious time, I had failed to set myself up for any future experience as either. 431 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:41,000 After an introspective look inside of myself, another cold reality crashed down upon me. 432 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:52,000 My life was truly squandered. Not because I had cancer or limitations beyond my control, but rather because I had none of those things, 433 00:44:52,000 --> 00:45:07,000 and still, I existed in abject misery and isolation. All I could do was sit there in that pathetic wicker chair and stew in the harsh storm of honesty that peed me so much. 434 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:18,000 I did exactly that. Hugging my liquor bottle like a child holds a stuffed animal, aware of how deep into nothingness I had delved. 435 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:29,000 The disgust and shame were sobering. People had killed themselves over a less, and that was a truth bomb that exploded in my face. 436 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:39,000 Now we're so later my kitchen table was covered in personal artifacts, but much like my bedroom wall in my fraternity house in the good years, 437 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:50,000 there could only be one piece that made the room come together. Over two decades later, the poster of Jennifer Love Hewitt had faired better throughout my various moves than the other trinkets. 438 00:45:50,000 --> 00:46:00,000 Why I was compelled to unearth these things from storage was almost supernatural or beyond my control, as if I had been led. 439 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:11,000 Many years had passed since the box had ever been opened, but on this occasion I simply couldn't resist the urge, even though I didn't know what end game I was chasing. 440 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:29,000 Such silliness yet, such reverence arose at the same time. The items were varied, heavily faded concert ticket stubs from a cranberry show, where I shared a sleeping bag and many kisses with carry as that Irish rock band played our song Dreams, 441 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:45,000 a flyer from the first opening act to get got go bananas, a blockbuster video gift card, unused. Various keepsakes and other postcards from another time were scattered about, but I kept coming back to that poster. 442 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:59,000 Such a surreal and breathtaking beauty she was in her youthful bigger, but it wasn't about staring at a pretty movie star. It again all came back to what she represented to me. 443 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:12,000 And she even a song, Jennifer Love Hewitt, would have been the soundtrack to the good years. The girl on TV was emblematic of everything I once had and everything I never had. 444 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:26,000 As I stared into her posterized eyes, I could see my past, sure, but I could also see her looking slightly off camera somewhere, somewhere into the future. 445 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:38,000 As iconic as she was becoming at the time that that poster was released, her majestic eyes had the foresight to remain pierced on days yet to come. 446 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:48,000 Another swig of liquor, helped none. The sadness became a weighted blanket. I knew it was only a poster from a foregone era. 447 00:47:48,000 --> 00:48:01,000 Logically, that was all it was. But like a simple tree might represent where two people shared a first kiss. This item exceeded its initial purpose because it meant something. 448 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:12,000 Images came in a flurry. I imagine myself jumping into the poster and emerging on the other side in my beloved time. Another chance, a second shot at this thing. 449 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:21,000 Only one was to go back and make my eyes look in the same direction as the beautiful starlet. The direction forward towards the future. 450 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:33,000 Such nonsense, I interrupted myself and attempt to spare myself from further pointless hope. Life has no eraser. Everything is permanent ink and that's that. 451 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:44,000 I looked around at the mass on the kitchen table which added and making pathetic forewalls even more of a Hubble. It felt gross to be in my own skin. 452 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:56,000 My head tilted skyward, my eyes shut with force. The spins came as expected, but I knew if I kept myself still eventually sleep would arrive. 453 00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:04,000 A respite from a torture that was consciousness. Consciousness is always the enemy when reality is unending tragedy. 454 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:16,000 Do I remember saying it or thinking it? Barely. Self-loathing and alcohol made noticing anything beyond my self-pity impossible. 455 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:31,000 But I did cry in desperation to be returned to the best days of my life. Before I fell asleep almost as an afterthought, I offered all I had my soul to whoever could take me back. 456 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:39,000 How is I to know that a literary device, a movie trope, could be a real thing? 457 00:49:51,000 --> 00:50:09,000 We'll continue with our story Jennifer Love Hewitt made me do it coming up. 458 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:21,000 Paranormal experiences encountering extraterrestrials extraordinary states of consciousness, spiritual phenomenon encounters with non-human entities that can't be explained by science. 459 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:26,000 These stories of what people have come across are ubiquitous here on Weird Darkness. 460 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:37,000 In often those who have had these encounters choose to stay quiet and not even tell close friends or family not a fear of ridicule and they suffer silently trying to deal with the internal horror of what they've experienced. 461 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:50,000 If I'm describing you or someone you know, there was now a place you can turn to for professional counseling from experts who unlike others in their field are open to the paranormal, supernatural and extraterrestrial experiences of others. 462 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:57,000 And they're not there to explain a way your experience but to help you recover from it and move forward with living. 463 00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:07,000 I'm referring to the opus network. If you want to reach out for help or learn more, look for the opus network towards the bottom of the hope in the darkness page at WeirdDarkness.com. 464 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,760 (eerie music) 465 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:27,560 Crunch. 466 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:33,920 Heavy sleeper barely described me when lost to slumber in my drunken state, 467 00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:37,760 so for an always too roused me away was quite the thing. 468 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,920 At first I thought I was ejected from a nightmare, 469 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,720 but then I heard it again from somewhere outside 470 00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,920 that off-putting crunching sound. 471 00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:48,680 Once more it came this time closer. 472 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,360 Crunch. 473 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,480 Clubs are still. 474 00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,960 My apartment window looked out into the woods, 475 00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:58,560 and the powdery mounds of snow glistened against the moonlight, 476 00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:02,400 creating a dim glow that almost maybe think it was day. 477 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,880 Crunch. 478 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,360 That ominous, dull noise struck my ear drums again. 479 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:12,440 A revolting sound akin to crushing a cockroach under foot 480 00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,000 with a nauseating squelch. 481 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,720 Being on the back end of my apartment complex, 482 00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:19,960 I was somewhat isolated. 483 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,080 My elderly downstairs neighbor, the widow, Mrs. Lumus, 484 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,080 was oblivious to sound. 485 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,560 Evident by the volume of a television, 486 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,920 she would long be asleep that hour anyway. 487 00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,880 My silk throated upstairs neighbor, Mr. Marlher, 488 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,720 ran some web-based company or radio show or something like that. 489 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,440 It was always at some convention or shindig. 490 00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,880 This overnight being one, evident by the Amazon packages 491 00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,360 that had begun to pile up on his doorstep. 492 00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:47,640 It was quite obvious, 493 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,840 drunk and stupid be damned that I alone was the audience 494 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,480 to this theater of approaching fright. 495 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,240 Crunch. 496 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,640 Maybe I wasn't completely alone. 497 00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,760 This time the crunch intensified. 498 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,520 Lourter and with intent, 499 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:06,200 is if some leveled being was zeroed in on my meek silhouette 500 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,800 in the window pane and making a beeline from far off into the forest 501 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,720 directly towards my humble abode. 502 00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:16,200 As a fool does, I slid the window open to investigate, 503 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,160 undoubtedly emboldened by the remnants of the drink. 504 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:24,600 My liquid high was decapitated from the sobering gush of a seemingly arctic wind. 505 00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:28,840 A squinted, hoping to spot the nuisance. 506 00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,840 And hoping the nuisance was something on four legs that I might recognize. 507 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:39,480 A took a few moments, as each stomach turning crunch against the hardened snowy ground, 508 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,720 grew closer and sound and menace. 509 00:53:41,720 --> 00:53:43,560 Then it appeared. 510 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:48,600 Once I watched a documentary on the Phoenix lights UFO incident, 511 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:53,560 and the witness is described the immense size of the UFO above them in the night sky by the 512 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:54,680 absence of stars. 513 00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,440 That's what came to mind for this thing. 514 00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,680 It's the only way I know how to relay what it looked like. 515 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:07,480 It was shaped like a very tall man, but was midnight black. 516 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:12,280 So black that black doesn't describe it properly. 517 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,640 Yet also simultaneously translucent. 518 00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,280 It made no sense to my eyes. 519 00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:22,440 What I saw, this towering onics, 520 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:26,280 figure that erased everything behind it, did not compute 521 00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:29,160 when the ocular mechanisms sent the image to my brain. 522 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,720 Instantly I was frozen. 523 00:54:31,720 --> 00:54:34,920 Not from the stranglehold of winter outside of my window, 524 00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,480 but from something I again cannot explain. 525 00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,360 Some might compare it to sleep paralysis. 526 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:45,320 I was cognizant and aware of my desire to turn away and flee, 527 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,480 but my body refused me. 528 00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:54,440 Worc yet, the Obsidian colored entity was holding me hostage as seemed complete, 529 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,280 immobility was all I felt. 530 00:54:56,280 --> 00:55:00,760 It would enshrowered with that distinctive crunch, 531 00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,560 only to stop and stare with eyes that did not exist. 532 00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:07,320 In a blink it would advance with dark artistry, 533 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,520 only leaving tracks 20 feet apart as if it had levitate. 534 00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:14,520 Closer it drew, defying physics all the while. 535 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,640 All I could do was gaze with petrified eyes 536 00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:20,440 unable to shield myself from the preternational shape. 537 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,400 It was as if when it eyelids have been stapled open, 538 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:27,080 like some overused gimmick from a cable TV torture horn 539 00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:28,760 trying to pass as a horror movie. 540 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,720 It came within 10 feet of my open window, 541 00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:34,920 and I remained preserved in my ketatonic limbo, 542 00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:36,840 my lips falling numb from the air. 543 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:40,760 The entity seemed to enjoy lingering so near, 544 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,160 as if the consent might object fear. 545 00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,880 Or perhaps it was speeding off it, 546 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,720 and a feast I provided it. 547 00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:52,520 In slow motion, I watched the being is right foot lift gently 548 00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:55,800 from the ground, leaving an indication in the snow below, 549 00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:59,000 then the crunch, then the blink. 550 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:03,400 Suddenly it was there, faceless to face with me. 551 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,720 I saw it can remember. 552 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:10,440 I might have passed out or maybe my mind blocked it to save me, 553 00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,560 but when I came to, I was seated in haste 554 00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,680 in my ratchety, wicker kitchen chair again, 555 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:20,040 the room silence and dark, bottle in hand, 556 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,720 90s music playing something I was too distraught to recognize. 557 00:56:23,720 --> 00:56:29,560 This would be the clearest image I saw of what I now believe was a demon. 558 00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,760 I still don't know, honestly. 559 00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:39,800 Relief was short lived though, because now disembodied and living in the shadows, 560 00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:43,480 the beast, the entity began to speak. 561 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:49,240 The voice came from a single direction, yet all directions at once, 562 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:55,880 in the pitch black kitchen, a throaty grown that sounded as if someone were trying to speak to me 563 00:56:55,880 --> 00:57:02,920 with a mouthful of dirty gravel, whether an audible, tangible voice or some type of telepathy 564 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:07,720 I'll never know. I swallowed nearly half the remains of my whiskey, 565 00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:09,960 seemingly the only movement I was allowed. 566 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:16,360 I understand you have called out to me. I'm here as requested. 567 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:23,160 As you sit there, on your speak, due to your pathetic, moral fear, 568 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:28,440 a weakness, your calorie kind always dislaze upon my appearance. 569 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:32,440 I'll venture in a cheeky guess as to why I'm here. 570 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:42,680 You haven't done anything with your life, human state, and you are left with no other options, 571 00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:46,120 and I see no registered messengers by enemy. 572 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:53,800 I usually leave your God, would be displeased with your mouthvisis, such a wasted life. 573 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:59,960 Is that why you suddenly instead of wasting all energy on prayer? 574 00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:08,040 My eyes were no longer pride open by an invisible force, and I closed them on an instinct like a child 575 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:13,640 hiding from the boogie man. Pointless and pathetic, but an attempt at comforting myself. 576 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:19,720 The entity picked up on this immediately, though how it saw this in the absence of light was confusing. 577 00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:26,200 Blickering lights no longer came from the television. My music gadgets stopped glowing. 578 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:30,840 The room was almost as dark as the entity, though that would have been an impossibility. 579 00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:37,960 Don't waste what time you have left human. You've summoned me. Now I'm here to barter. 580 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:42,040 Tell me about your greatest desires. 581 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:50,600 What are you? I managed to spit out my voice cracking like a child leaning into manhood. 582 00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:56,920 The devil? Bellowing laughter erupted from the entity, 583 00:58:56,920 --> 00:59:05,800 wrestling about somewhere in the shadows. Oh, always the same questions. Do you think you're important enough? 584 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:15,480 But that encounter lost one? Is devil, you speak of? Do you think he would bother with such an unlived soul? 585 00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:24,600 The devil is not here. What is it you people say? The devil is in the details. 586 00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:31,480 That's exactly where you'll find the devil. Now, stay your business fleshed back. 587 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:38,360 Confusion. Terror and aggravation grew into some type of amalgamation of an emotion. 588 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:45,880 Whatever evil thing I had conquered was now throwing a cliché at me? It was admittedly a strange 589 00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:52,120 thing to focus on during such a time, but the mind is a mystery. Well, what are you then? 590 00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:56,920 What do you want from me? I compel you to leave me alone. I compel you in God's name. 591 00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:03,560 More laughter from the entity. This time with an even more medicine edge. Then it's folk. 592 01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:16,440 You watched the many movies and cheated my head sparing. Did I spue green for the time? Such naive 593 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:24,920 swine you people. Hey, God. Why do you mortal suddenly find God when it's the last resort? 594 01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:33,480 We already covered your God's lack of presence here. Where is he? Where are his angels? 595 01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:40,520 Christopher Brooks, have you dug into the doorway that's shirk in this decade? 596 01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:51,560 There is no God coming for you. You are alone. Now, state your proposal. You have summoned me 597 01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:59,320 and I am here. I take back my summon. I cried with a little oxygen that remained in my panic 598 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:08,040 lungs. I just want you to go. Now, please. Silence. Then whispering centimeters away into my ear, 599 01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:16,920 the entity spoke. Are you scared? I shouldn't scare you. Go a life should scare you. 600 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:23,720 I jumped at the ear, he closed us at the voice. The shock of it allowed anger to seep through the 601 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:29,880 terror. Don't do that. Where are you? Stop hiding in the shadows and at least show yourself. 602 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:35,160 I have to know where you are. It's not like I can be any more scared than I already am. 603 01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:41,960 I've always trailed off. Just then, off in the corner of my peripheral against a wall, 604 01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:48,760 two fiendish eyes lit up. My levelant blood red circles that illuminated and dimmed, as if watching 605 01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:55,800 the lit end of a Paris cigar is being smoked in pitch black emptiness. Begaboo, here I am. Now, 606 01:01:55,800 --> 01:02:02,280 enough of this. It's the same stall tactics for thousands of years with you people. You want 607 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:12,200 something from me? I want something in return. As I said, let's, butter, disdain you human's play. 608 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:19,240 It's so boring. I'm your only opportunity to make what's left of your life worth anything again. 609 01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:27,400 What is it that I can offer you, mortal? I remain in a state of utter disbelief. My mind 610 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:35,080 in a ray of chaos and temptation could this actually be real selling your soul to the dark one? This was 611 01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:41,640 fodder for books and television and movies. The devil and Daniel Webster, that was the big one. 612 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:48,200 The short story in film, the followed that was exactly what faced me in the moment. But it was just 613 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:58,120 a movie, a fiction, yet here it was. Here I was. I had indeed summoned this beast, this entity. 614 01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:03,720 How could it count, though, I was drunk and miserable where there are no rules? 615 01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:10,760 Thinking about my life and a vacuum, at least the life I'd lived the past 20 something years. 616 01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:15,800 I saw no hope or light. I had long ago lost my smile. 617 01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:21,800 Look at how I spent my free time drinking whiskey and my own tears, staring at posters of 618 01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:27,480 movie stars and hoping for a time portal. I was, indeed, pathetic. 619 01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:34,040 Common sense of coercive, such a thing could be applied in the situation, told me that nothing 620 01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:40,520 this hellspon offered would be worth my soul. And again, if my life wasn't respite to me, then 621 01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:49,880 why should my soul be any different? It was correct, the entity. And then I had no relationship with God. 622 01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:56,280 I only spoke to God when I ran out of people to blame. God wasn't coming to save me, 623 01:03:56,280 --> 01:04:00,920 and I didn't expect to hear us welcome into his kingdom when this mess of a life on earth ended. 624 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:08,280 Faith was a class that I'd failed long ago. God would never allow me to graduate. 625 01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:15,400 Confusion bewildered me. Moments prior I'd been asleep, half hoping to not wake up and now, 626 01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:19,880 I was being tempted with matters of salvation and damnation. 627 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:26,600 I can still turn my life around, I'd defiantly told the entity, I'm young enough to make a change. 628 01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:34,440 I don't need you, I have time. Silence, maybe three seconds yet it lasted an eternity. 629 01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:45,880 Then it spoke again. Time. What good is time, Ben, for you? What uses it? You don't value time. 630 01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:54,440 You don't understand it. One of you ever done with time. Stare at celebrity women who wouldn't 631 01:04:54,440 --> 01:05:02,600 waste the oxygen to step over you as you lie dead in the streets. Shared tears or people who have 632 01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:13,000 long forgotten you, you have no time. You have nothing. Be entity smeared with cruelty. You have nothing 633 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:20,840 and will continue to have nothing. We both know this Christopher. There is an out though, 634 01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:31,640 having nothing. It means you have nothing to lose. You summoned me. You asked to go back to quote 635 01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:41,400 the best days of your life. I can give you that. Or you can spend your last 20 years 636 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:48,120 running away in that chair, drinking away the memories you cling to. panic, sudden. 637 01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:55,000 Every word from the entity elicited object horror. But something in particular it said, 638 01:05:55,000 --> 01:06:00,600 seized control over my thoughts. Something said that that was beyond ominous. 639 01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:07,560 20 years? Why do you say 20 years? What happens to 20 years? I asked. 640 01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:14,520 Though deep within I think I knew. The malevolent red eyes lit up and faded away at almost the same 641 01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:20,600 time. Telling me you was now on the other side of me in the darkness. I hadn't heard the beast move. 642 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:30,920 It seemed to flow like water. In 20 years, 14 days, 7 hours, 56 minutes and 11 seconds, 643 01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:38,680 you, Christopher Michael Brooks, will expire from the living world. At the age of 64, the very 644 01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:46,760 bottle in your hand will take your liver. Forevermore, you will cease to exist on this earth. 645 01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:53,160 I believe we both know the uncertainty of what lies beyond the mortal world for you. 646 01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:58,840 It's time to hedge your bet. Are you ready to hear my offer now? 647 01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:05,080 Somewhere in the depths of my stomach was where my heart could be found. 648 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:11,560 Massaging a whiskey bottle with my fingers, I imagined myself growing old. My arthritic bone bag 649 01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:18,200 hunched over this very dining room table, dying slowly from liquid poison. My entire body quivered. 650 01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:26,760 20 years? 20 years? Was nothing? And it was everything. This entity had played its hand well. 651 01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:33,080 To refuse its offer meant knowing always knowing that a literal clock would be running a countdown 652 01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:40,360 to my personal end of days. I would die lonely and afraid. My body discovered only when the stench 653 01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:45,240 became too much for the neighbors. I was kidding myself by thinking I could change my future. 654 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:51,880 Perhaps optimism might endure in this negotiation without a known endgame, but I now know 655 01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:58,600 how it would all conclude. The next 20 years, with each second, shaved off in a countless manner, 656 01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:06,760 would drive me insane. Then I began to think of the good years, the best days of my life. 657 01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:12,760 All of the adoration and companionship from my friends, too many of them to count. 658 01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:19,080 The simple excitement of a night out, the tingling sensation of an amorous entanglement in the 659 01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:24,760 works, even knowing my family again as people who loved me not the abandoning hypocrites they would 660 01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:32,680 become. To live again where I could turn heads and conquer any room with my boyish charm and unflinching 661 01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:41,720 charisma. Most of all, to go back to a time where I was respected. And the jokes, I had a lifetime 662 01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:47,080 of jokes since then, amazing material that would be groundbreaking comedy for my beloved era. 663 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:53,160 Grabbing the punch of the midsection of my torso, I yearned for the days I could feel the 664 01:08:53,160 --> 01:09:00,120 ridges between stomach muscles, rubbing my smooth temples like an almost feel that thick head of hair 665 01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:09,560 that carry used to run or fingers through. Carry. She grew from an ex-girlfriend and to a goddess 666 01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:17,160 at that moment. Suddenly I could see her at all of her spritly zest. Her flex and hair waving in the wind 667 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:25,080 was cobalt eyes welcoming me back to where I always belonged to where I never should have left with her. 668 01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:31,560 He dawned on me. My love for her was as constant as the north star. 669 01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:38,200 Yes, my mind was under more strain and pressure than it was built for, but I decided right then 670 01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:44,920 that she was my everything and I had succeeded in convincing myself. All because those were the 671 01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:51,320 good years. This was my era. I belonged there again, I belonged home. 672 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:58,360 As my mind stumbled and struggled towards a conclusion, the entity spoke with perfect timing as if 673 01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:01,480 it could read my thoughts and your certainty and hindsight. 674 01:10:01,480 --> 01:10:08,680 Christopher Michael Brooks, I offer you the following. In exchange for the 20 remaining years you 675 01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:17,320 have left on the mortal plate. I will grant you those 20 years to be lived over and over again 676 01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:26,280 during the time you requested the best days of your life as you stated. But 20 years, you will remain 677 01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:35,000 at that age and timeline. No only to you. During those 20 years, you will feel the time pass and 678 01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:43,720 know it has, but nothing will disrupt you and it will always be the era requested. You remain in the 679 01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:52,280 age and era requested to do as you please for 20 years. You will enjoy your chosen surroundings 680 01:10:52,280 --> 01:11:00,440 and circumstances at a rate of 20 times beyond the unknowing mortals around you. You cannot die 681 01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:07,400 during those 20 years. You cannot make aware your circumstances to any mortals during those 20 years. 682 01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:15,320 At the conclusion of the 20 year arrangement, you were simply perish from existence on this plane. 683 01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:23,240 The other humans will never know. Life will continue as if only a year has passed. Even though you have 684 01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:31,080 lived 20 times that, in their world, you will continue on as you did in the life you led before, 685 01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:39,240 and eventually part ways. At the end of our arrangement, you know what we want. This is the best 686 01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:46,760 you possible. So, Christopher Michael Brooks, are these terms agreeable to you? 687 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:54,920 Once I thought choosing a frat party theme was an overwhelming decision, this thought occurred at this 688 01:11:54,920 --> 01:12:02,040 most in-opportune time when I chuckled. Again, mysteries of the brain. I weighed my options. 689 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:09,720 Slowly die for two decades, or live for two decades during my prime, with no one around me the 690 01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:18,600 was. Mentally, I would perish at 64, but my final days would culminate with endless trists with a 21 year old 691 01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:25,480 bombshell, and the ability to run a mile without fear of hard failure. I wasn't there yet, but by the 692 01:12:25,480 --> 01:12:33,640 time I mental age at 64, I would be living every dirty old man's dream. Face it, I bargained with 693 01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:41,000 myself, no angels were making any counteroffers. It came down to a slow death versus living out the greatest 694 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:49,080 days of my life until the very last second. You didn't take long to decide. Honestly, what would you pick? 695 01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:55,160 I began to open my mouth, but the entity had beaten me again, now making its presence known through 696 01:12:55,160 --> 01:13:00,200 the oppressive scarlet eyes that glowed and dimmed in the chair directly in front of me. 697 01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:07,320 Far too close, a vicious display of intimidation. A small space on the table in front of me lit up, 698 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:13,960 suddenly clear of the mess I'd made, revealing a scroll, inscribed with perfect calligraphy next to a 699 01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:22,680 quill pen. I teak it, we've come to terms, Mr. Brooks. I remember sowing, and grabbing the pen with a 700 01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:28,600 shaking hand. Then I looked up at the entity, connecting my gaze to where its own gaze now 701 01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:38,760 burned fire and confirmed. There's 20 years of the best days of my life. No disruptions. No early 702 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:46,040 death just 20 years to live as I once did in my in the greatest days I ever knew. Before I had my 703 01:13:46,040 --> 01:13:53,720 soul over to you. That's the deal, correct? Though I could not see it, I just knew the entity was 704 01:13:53,720 --> 01:14:01,400 smiling somewhere in the lonely shadows. Those are the terms of the deal, all you have to do is sign. 705 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:09,800 I thought about my life one last time. I'd be going to hell in any religion, eventually. 706 01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:18,600 With that, I took a swig off my last bottle of whiskey, and my final Wednesday. Then I put pen to paper. 707 01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:34,920 A weird darkness. 708 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:55,320 You've heard the first few episodes of weirdly woods, but now the book is available, where you can read 709 01:14:55,320 --> 01:15:01,000 all the stories even before I used them in the podcast. This new anthology, written by author 710 01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:06,520 John Allen, not only gives you the chapters I've already used and will be using in weird darkness, 711 01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:12,120 but it also includes a bonus chapter that I will not be sharing in the podcast. And a list of 712 01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:17,560 horror-themed easter eggs that have been hidden throughout all of the chapters. You can find weirdling 713 01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:24,280 woods in paperback and Kindle versions on Amazon, and on the Weird Darkness Publishing page at WeirdDarkness.com. 714 01:15:54,200 --> 01:16:01,480 contract, the clock hands are moving very slowly. Sometimes I wonder if they move at all. 715 01:16:01,480 --> 01:16:08,520 There's nothing to do really. Not much going on, or at least nothing I haven't done for three 716 01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:16,360 years straight, and will do for 17 more. As you can probably gather, this hasn't worked out as expected. 717 01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:22,920 I almost want to use a cliche and say the devil is a liar, but that can be answered with another 718 01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:32,840 cliche. The entity once said. The devil is in the details. I wasn't lied to at all. Not in the slightest. 719 01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:39,720 The truth wasn't front of me, but I guess like usual, I just wasn't really paying attention. 720 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:46,040 The entity was kind enough to show me some things before I landed here just after I signed that 721 01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:54,680 stupid contract. Did you know the humans tend to glorify the past? We embellish. We memorialize. 722 01:16:54,680 --> 01:17:00,120 We write fables. We create things that didn't quite happen as we choose to remember them. 723 01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:07,640 We're all guilty of it. Except unlike myself, most people wouldn't wager their soul against it. 724 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:14,280 I was like watching a documentary of my life, a highlight reel that the entity implanted in my head. 725 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:22,600 And man, was it a twist ending? Shemalon style. See, I forgot one all about how 726 01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:28,600 Carrie and I cheated on each other all the time. It slipped my mind, being arrested for drunk driving 727 01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:34,600 before failing out of college and being shunned by my friend brothers. Those laughs at the open mic, 728 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:42,840 my friends laughed at me and my dream, not my jokes. I don't even know when I began to 729 01:17:43,240 --> 01:17:49,960 falsify my nightlife excursions because in the montage provided, I anchored the back end of many 730 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:57,080 a winding line and saw very few open doors. The football games never scored any touchdowns. 731 01:17:57,080 --> 01:18:06,040 That was some other guy. The physique? That was his too. The great eviction episode of 1998 732 01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:11,720 was quite shocking to relive. It barely nudged my parents' divorce and grandfather's death 733 01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:22,680 for scene of the year. Oh, and my thick lustrous hair, it was just, no, okay. Why was I showing this? 734 01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:30,120 I suppose it was to prove that the devil really was as the entity had said in the details, 735 01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:39,480 because our contract continued as planned, down to the details. The days I was enamored with, 736 01:18:39,480 --> 01:18:46,600 we're not the best days of my life as per our agreement. Always choose words wisely. 737 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:53,160 These were what I call the "good years." And even though I have here to have overstated that period, 738 01:18:53,160 --> 01:19:01,320 it was still a blast, but they weren't the best days of my life. These were times filled with the same 739 01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:09,800 banalities of life in any era. Partbreak, depression, financial woes, anxiety, grief, no amount of 740 01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:21,400 romanticizing could deny that. So here I am, year three into age three. The best days of my life. 741 01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:31,080 I have no defense. The entity sent me where I asked. No financial worries. No stress, 742 01:19:31,080 --> 01:19:39,320 about the future. No romantic heart to be broken. I know I'll be fed and loved. My days will be spent 743 01:19:39,320 --> 01:19:46,040 playing and napping. There's no pressure or demands whatsoever. There's also not much to do, 744 01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:52,440 because all I have around me is the technology that 1980 has to offer. And I can't even utilize it, 745 01:19:52,440 --> 01:20:00,840 because again, I'm three years old. Actually, my mind is now 47, but I'm trapped in a three-year 746 01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:09,640 world's existence. When I finally escape this contract, I'll be a 64-year-old man in a three-year-old's body. 747 01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:18,600 And I will have been for 20 years. No more drinking. No more women. No more leaving the 748 01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:25,960 confines of this house or a car seat. I'll never see sports on a big screen again or eat a steak, 749 01:20:25,960 --> 01:20:32,520 or hold an intelligent conversation. Poor the restraints on my contract. I can't even pay it forward 750 01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:38,600 and somehow tell my parents to buy stock and apple or something like that. I'll be stuck in this 751 01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:46,840 hell for 17 more years. And at that time, the entity will return and take me to another version of eternal 752 01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:54,040 damnation. I don't know how the next hell can be worse than the current. Perhaps they'll offer 753 01:20:54,040 --> 01:21:03,720 a wifi, but the password will be pi. I'll find out soon enough. Honestly, I just have to laugh at. 754 01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:10,600 As I never was, comedian, it's my duty. I have found myself regressing to an almost nonchalant 755 01:21:10,600 --> 01:21:17,160 in difference now, an immature disposition. I wonder if all of this toddler babble around me is the 756 01:21:17,160 --> 01:21:22,920 reason I keep joking and making stupid rhymes in my head about such a grave and dire conclusion. 757 01:21:23,880 --> 01:21:31,640 Respect is due though. That black mass of evil played me good. If you learn anything from my story, 758 01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:37,560 always read contracts with a keen eye, especially when dealing with affairs in the soul. 759 01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:42,920 Do you know what's possibly funny and tragic at the same time? 760 01:21:42,920 --> 01:21:47,240 This whole contract to this whole, the devil and Daniel Webster thing? 761 01:21:48,040 --> 01:21:54,440 It occurred to me about a year and a half ago that Jay Love actually starred in a movie based on that famous 762 01:21:54,440 --> 01:22:03,480 tale. Like I said, Jay always seems to pop up some. Speaking of her, I think I'm like 763 01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:10,520 two years older than Jennifer Love Hewitt. So she's somewhere right now being one year old. 764 01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:17,080 With no idea what power she will someday possess. This world is nothing if not unpredictable. 765 01:22:17,720 --> 01:22:22,360 I still have mixed emotions about that beautiful dimple icon. 766 01:22:22,360 --> 01:22:29,400 And she not been so good. She might not have symbolized what I thought was my greatest era. 767 01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:36,200 Had I not thought of her not glorified her, and I not looked at that poster and misread it, 768 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:43,000 and my celebrity crush not inadvertently given me those ridiculous sentimental reimaginings of 769 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:48,520 wondrous days past. Maybe I'd at least be drinking my whiskey while awaiting death. 770 01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:55,800 But instead I'm drinking milk in a wansy. I know deep down it's not her fault. 771 01:22:55,800 --> 01:23:01,720 I choose to claim to my delusion though. That's sort of my thing, as I've learned. 772 01:23:01,720 --> 01:23:09,640 Speaking of delusion, I'm writing this comedy dream to the literal, most bitter and known demand. 773 01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:15,640 But we're going to joke to tell the devil when I arrive, but it seems to get beyond puns. 774 01:23:15,640 --> 01:23:21,320 As I mentioned, I think it's the child in me, or is it me in the child? 775 01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:28,440 I don't know anymore. So far this is what I've come up with. Why do demons and ghouls get along so 776 01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:32,200 well? Because demons are a ghouls best friend. 777 01:23:32,200 --> 01:23:38,440 Yeah, I hope I'll lose if I watch as diamonds commercials or that one's going to stink. 778 01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:43,720 But hey, but more can he do besides keeping me chained in the forever prison of sorrow. 779 01:23:43,720 --> 01:23:50,440 That joke only took three years to conjure, which makes me ponder if that's as good as it gets 780 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:56,680 for my comedy. It would have been nice if somebody had told me back then. Maybe I would have 781 01:23:56,680 --> 01:24:03,720 focused on my grades and never have set myself here. It is inevitable that other prisoners in the 782 01:24:03,720 --> 01:24:10,840 eternal hellfire and brimstone of hateys will ask why I signed on the dotted line. And since I'm 783 01:24:10,840 --> 01:24:18,520 slap happy with childlike denial, all answer again in rhyme. Jennifer love, you it. 784 01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:43,480 you know who loves the paranormal or strange stories, true crime, monsters, or unsolved mysteries 785 01:24:43,480 --> 01:24:47,960 like you do. You can email me anytime with your questions or comments at Darren at 786 01:24:47,960 --> 01:24:55,320 weirddarkness.com. Darren is DARR EN. Weirddarkness.com is also where you can find all of my social 787 01:24:55,320 --> 01:25:00,520 media, listen to free audiobooks I've narrated, visit the store for Weird Darkness T-shirts, 788 01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:07,560 hoodies, mugs, phone cases, and more merchandise. Sign up for monthly contests, find other podcasts 789 01:25:07,560 --> 01:25:13,160 that I host. And find the hope in the darkness page if you or someone you know is struggling with 790 01:25:13,160 --> 01:25:19,000 depression or dark thoughts. Also on the website if you have a true paranormal or creepy tale to tell, 791 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:25,080 you can click on tell your story. You can find all of that and more at WeirdDarkness.com. 792 01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:30,920 Stories on thriller Thursdays are works of fiction and you can find links to the stories or the 793 01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:37,240 authors in the show notes. Acculary was written by Orobaros or creepypasta.com. 794 01:25:37,880 --> 01:25:43,880 And Jennifer Love Hewitt made me do it was written by John Allen at writer john Allen.com. 795 01:25:43,880 --> 01:25:52,360 That's writer j-o-n-a-l-l-e-n.com. We're darknesses as a production and trademark of Marlar House 796 01:25:52,360 --> 01:25:59,240 Productions. Copyright 2023. And now that we're coming out of the dark, I'll leave you with a little 797 01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:08,680 light. Proverbs 17 verse 9. Love Prosper's when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. 798 01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:16,440 And a final thought never limit what you can do or achieve for if you can visualize it and 799 01:26:16,440 --> 01:26:22,280 dare to imagine it with conviction, the sky is the limit on the many possibilities that await you. 800 01:26:23,240 --> 01:26:39,160 Blake Sing Player. I'm Darren Marlar. Thanks for joining me in the Weird Darkness.