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Hey, you're listening to the follow-up episode of Just Being Intentional with Thomas Harris.

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I am Stewart White.

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I'm the producer of the show.

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And this little segment is designed specifically to ask some questions that I thought you guys

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might be asking as you're listening to Thomas in the episode.

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So in this very first follow-up episode, Thomas in the intro episode was talking about

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his life and everything that led up to this point.

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So Thomas, a couple of the things that popped into my head, there were a few moments, but

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the moment for me that stuck out the most was -- you got emotional a couple times.

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And one of them was when you said you completed your training in the military and the Navy,

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and you got out of that, why did that hit you so hard?

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What was it about that moment that even now reflecting on it causes you to have this

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visceral reaction?

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Yeah, I mean, even getting emotional even thinking about it now because I'm so grateful

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that God had got to provide an out for me.

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I mean, that was the means of giving me another chance to start over.

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So I seriously embraced that opportunity to have a clean slate.

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And I just think of everything that had transpired from making that decision to join the military.

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For me, it was an act of obedience to putting that in motion.

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And I just followed what I was really even knowing what I was doing.

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I was always aware that there was a God, I often felt this presence even before I knew

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who he was.

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I felt like there was someone much bigger than myself that was watching over me.

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And every time I felt that presence get close to me, I would run away.

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And then God and his infinite wisdom and providence would kindly stick his foot out and he

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tripped me up.

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And my circumstances were a result of continuing to run when I needed to stop.

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So when I think about how he gave me the opportunity, one, to take upon the oath and serve this country

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to defend and whatever the cost was.

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And I saw that training all the way through and I got to where the uniform that not too

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many people in the world get to where.

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And I did it not even thinking about what could happen, what possibilities were, the worst

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could happen.

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But I signed myself for that and I just looked back and I get emotional because I think of

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everything that has happened from that point, meeting my wife and starting this journey,

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which is something I could never foresee prior to that.

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Because when you go from feeling like no one cares, if I didn't wake up tomorrow, what

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did even matter to people?

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Because you can know that people love you, but still not know people love you.

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You know, if that makes sense, but he gave me purpose and that's where it all started.

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So that's why it hits hard when I think about that.

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Does that make sense?

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Oh, absolutely.

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Yeah.

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So if I'm hearing you correctly, that was one of the pivotal moments that changed the trajectory

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of your entire life.

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You talk about your faith, which would you say had more weight?

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Like a lot of people talk about their faith, but it seems to be something for you that might

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be even greater of a trajectory change.

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Like you thought, I'm going in the military.

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This will give me purpose.

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And then that decision led to meeting your wife, a girlfriend at the time.

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And then now you've, she's taking you to church and you're hearing this presentation and

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all that.

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Like how did that change your life?

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Yeah, I said in the episode that there was for all of us, there's one defining moment that

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we have in our lives that changes the entire course of the rest of your life.

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And for me, the decision and the follow through of joining the military was that moment.

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You know, like you said, that was the pivotal moment.

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That was the moment that changed everything because if you look back, we have the beauty

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of hindsight where we can look back and see all these pinpoints of events that have happened,

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the people that you meet and the decisions you make along that journey.

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You know, you know, this is where it started, you know, Frodo started with putting the ring

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in his pocket and went on an incredible journey from there.

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Like if he never got that ring, would he have left the shire?

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Probably not.

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Would have made for really boring books and movies, too.

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Correct.

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You just think about it.

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So I love to look at movies.

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I'm a movie guy.

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I love to look at movies and see like how this pertains to real life.

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You know, defining moments based on one decision that changes everything.

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That's what it was for me.

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So I'm forever grateful for the opportunity to join the military.

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And now I'm being benefited greatly because of my time of active duty.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That's really amazing.

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Nothing else like I mentioned the emotional moments.

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You spoke about your father and very sensitive issue there, too, his death by suicide.

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And it seemed to impact you in the trajectory.

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Again, I'm using that word trajectory a lot in how you wanted to be and what not to do.

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And then also looking at it and going just not being something is not the same as being

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something.

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And so you spoke about a few things.

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Could you go into a little more detail on that?

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How did that affect you in being a husband, being a father, being a man?

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Yeah.

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Um, all of us, every single one of us sees something in our parents that we don't like,

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that we want to do differently.

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Like I have a very opinionated oldest daughter who sees things and she'll tell it like it

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is.

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You know, I wanted to do better.

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I wanted to be better than than what my environment taught me or didn't teach me.

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I mean, it shouldn't take a kid to look around in his environment and say, it's got to be

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better than this.

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And that's what I saw.

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I saw the things that I didn't want to be the possibilities that I did not want to play

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out.

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And I think I was intentional about that.

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Well, I even, without even knowing that I wasn't a believer at the time as a kid, but I was

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very in tune with my conscience.

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And God was there before I even acknowledged he was there.

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And he was showing me things that I should do differently.

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So I consider myself a cycle breaker.

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The norm was not right for me.

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So with my parents, you know, they were very young.

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My mom was 16.

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My dad was like 19.

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They're not going to know any better when you're that age, having a kid or having two kids.

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But I just knew that I wanted to be for my family something better.

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And I give credit also to the guys that I surrounded myself around that were doing life better

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than I was.

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And the hope was to have some of that rub off on me and I'd be better for it.

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So it sounds like you're saying you aspire or aspired to be like the people that you were

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surrounded with.

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And when you were surrounded with friends that were going nowhere or the opposite of nowhere

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like downward, it had an effect on you.

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But then when you made that intentional choice to be around people who had ambition, had plans

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and healthy ambition to that that had an effect on you.

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Yeah.

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And I want my kids to be even better than the examples they've been given.

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And I hope that their kids have are better.

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You know, I want that to continue.

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And this part of living a legacy is like their kids have a life better than you ever had

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and you want their kids to have a better life than they had.

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So it's just kind of in the sense of paying it forward.

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But you fall down along the way and then you keep getting back up and you keep trying harder

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and you just rely on God to just be your guide in that process and help you make better

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decisions today than you did yesterday.

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That's awesome.

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Well, so let's wrap it up with one final question and this is something I think people

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might be thinking about is if somebody is thinking I need to change my trajectory.

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And maybe like you did, maybe it's the military.

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What advice would you give them that they could act on or not act on that would possibly

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help them determine what to do?

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The beauty of working in homeless ministry is I get to pretty much say whatever I want

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in those conversations.

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I get to challenge guys.

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John McArthur said it best.

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Hard words produce soft hearts, but soft words produce hard hearts.

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So speaking of truth, given people the truth, but from a place of love is the difference

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maker.

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If I'm just telling you you should do this and there's no love behind it, there's no

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care.

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Like I am rooting for your success.

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Then it's like a clanging symbol.

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But if you know that I'm telling you this because I love you and I care about what happens

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to you, I'm going to be one of your biggest cheerleaders.

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I'm going to take some success in your success because I'm investing in you.

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So we have to be truthful on one another.

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And that means that some people are going to be in a place where they're ready to receive

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it.

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And some are not going to be ready and they're just going to be like, they're going to

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feel like they're attacked and you're judging them.

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But that's not the intention.

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The intention is to challenge you because I believe you can do better.

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And I take my story, you know, for instance, like I had to believe I can do better.

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Otherwise I would just be another statistic and I wasn't going to let that happen.

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Yeah.

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That's so good.

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That's so good.

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I would imagine if I was inspired, first of all, in hearing what you had to say.

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And I hope that people listening and I know people listening were inspired as well.

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So I encourage anyone like if you have any questions, anything like that, check out the

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show notes.

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We'll have an email that you can reach out and contact us.

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If for some reason you're listening to this episode first, go back one episode and listen

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to episode one of just being intentional with Thomas Harris and you will be all caught

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up.

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And then you can have a little more context to this one.

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So we really appreciate you taking the time and listening tune in to episode two next.

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Thank you, Brian.

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I appreciate you.

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Yeah.