♪ Meet a messenger on my face ♪
♪ The sunny sun went on ♪
♪ I had a vision like ♪
♪ Like the light to reach the stars ♪
- What's up everybody?
Welcome to a latest episode of For Crying Out Loud.
Hello, hello, hello.
- What's up Stephanie?
- Woo, woo, woo, woo.
- So, summer is here.
- Yeah.
- Today is Friday for everybody.
Our Zoom is tonight.
- Yes.
- If you're listening to this and you're like,
"Shit, I forgot about that."
Go sign up right now at the $10 level or above
or if you're already on there, don't do anything
and you'll get the link and then come join us tonight.
- Yes, we'll be case some is gonna be on there.
- Oh good.
- Robin.
- She's gonna be on there.
- Yeah.
It's gonna be fun.
- I can't wait to see everybody.
- People, no I'm just kidding.
(laughs)
People's not doing much these days.
- Oh, Q&A.
- Yes, we'll do Q&A.
Bring your questions.
Also, hope you listened it to Drunkish this week.
Sorry for shamelessly promoting my other podcast,
but I'm really proud of it.
- You should be.
- It's a sobriety podcast
and it's apropos for one of our topics
that we wanna talk about today.
But I do wanna say that my kids are out of school
and I gotta say for the first time,
maybe ever in the life of us doing this podcast
and my kids being in school.
I'm actually a little bit sad for them that it's summer.
I don't wanna tell you why.
I mean, really, honestly, for all three of my kids,
because right now, knock on this desk, yeah.
All of my kids are kind of thriving in school right now.
Now, I know that Sadie does not like the academics,
but the schedule is keeping her socializing
and involved in things.
And I worry about, and Zander is, as you know,
like just involved in a million things
and he's so happy, you know.
If it wasn't for the school work,
I think they would be not wanting it to be summer.
Right.
It's just interesting because for the very,
I usually live for it to be summer.
Yeah.
But it's just like, oh my God, I can't wait until,
but it's been so much easier because I do get up
to wake them up, but I wake up anyway.
Yeah.
But Sadie drives them to school.
Right.
So I don't have to drive them to school every day.
Right.
They have pretty good days.
And now it's gonna be like, oh my God,
my kids are gonna sleep till noon or one.
Right.
I'm gonna have to be like, get a job,
get a job.
Are you looking for work?
Are you doing this?
Can you help me in the house?
Mm-hmm.
And they're gonna be bored all the time.
Right.
Yeah.
I remember.
Zander's a go-getter when he has, when he's given parameters.
Right.
Join this.
Do this.
You have to be here.
But it's harder for him to like, yeah.
A lot of kids are that way too, I think.
But yeah, I mean, I just, the summertime,
I just remember it as the kids got older,
it was like, wait a second, I liked you guys being at school
and having something to do and being productive and doing stuff,
you know?
And then like, because then,
because then after a while, they, you know,
the more self-sufficient they are,
they made their own lunches, they went and walked to school
or they drove to school or whatever.
And then you don't have to do that much anymore.
So then when summer came, it's like, you know, we're bored.
Well, go, you know, now go get jobs.
So that's, yeah.
And Natalia started her job and she loved it.
Did I tell you that?
No.
Yeah, she, I told you that she did.
Oh, but yeah, but you make him look at you.
Yeah.
Oh, so she art, but you didn't tell me she started it last week.
She just had the interview and they called back that day
and he said she got it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She started.
I'm not talking about it.
Yeah, she, she loves it.
I mean, she just, she likes being in that environment.
She likes being that fast paced.
She didn't see Jimmy last week at all.
And the other thing that's kind of a bummer is that he's going
like on vacation to the rest of, like starting in three,
two or three weeks, he's going to be gone the rest of the summer.
So she's, he's not even to be there while she's there
because then by the time she comes back, then he'll, you know,
he'll be back after she leaves or whatever.
So it'll be all guest hosts, but she loves it.
Yeah, she loves it.
And she, you know, turns out like there's a lot of people there
that she knows all, you know, from being around everybody,
you know, some of the writers and stuff.
And she got to do a man on the street where she was like,
out there holding the microphone.
But yeah, she got to do that.
And she got to be in the audience.
And when they were doing like audience warm up,
like asking questions to Jimmy, she would hold the microphone.
And she started, yeah, she started the, and then she had to go on
to like, you know, lunch runs and stuff like that.
And then she started the same day.
And another girl started.
So they were kind of like, like, we're in this together kind of thing.
And the girl, her mom is friends with, maybe I shouldn't say it.
Sarah Sellerman was her mom.
So she was like, you know, so that's,
Sarah Sellerman is not her mom.
No, her mom is friends with Sarah Seller.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
Yeah.
So she, that's how like she got her job or whatever.
But they were hanging out like getting, you know,
she's like, we got along great.
We got to get, we went and ran errands together.
And, but yeah, I was like, they got, she got
learned the ropes of where to go and got her ID.
And she loves it.
No, is it every day?
No, you said it's only two days a week for now.
For now.
Right.
Hopefully she picks, it kicks up more hours.
But it was a all day, you know?
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, I don't want it to just be two days a week.
I wish it was every day.
So hopefully that, I know that's like, that's LB2.
LB likes to like, if she's doing something, she, that's it.
Yeah.
She has to be doing it.
Yeah.
Sure.
She would be the same if, you know, when she gets the draw,
I'm going to manifest it for her.
When she gets the job in insomniac, it'll be every day.
No, it'll be once a week.
Yeah.
Where is this for that thing is for a paid fall intern.
Oh.
She even find out for a while.
Okay.
So that doesn't start to the fall.
It wouldn't start to the fall.
Yeah.
So she needs, the girl needs a summer job.
Yeah.
I wanted to make cash like tips.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's hard.
I know.
It's hard to get a job right now.
Yeah.
And Zander had Bad Luck with, he was trying to get a job at Trader Joe's, but like, yeah,
here it's tough.
It's really tough.
You have to go in.
You have to put it, you have to do, submit your resume.
You have to submit your resume online, but then you have to walk in there and say, hi,
and you have to talk to the manager.
And he tried like two or three times and the manager wasn't there when he was there.
And then he was like, I feel like a stalker.
Yeah.
Like, not an STO CK, but like an STALK, like a stalker.
He's like, I feel like a stalker.
I just go in there and for free.
I'm just emptying boxes and like putting things on the shelf.
And I'm like, well, that's your mistake.
Right.
You're not even an employee yet.
Yeah.
They probably thought that was weird.
Yeah.
He was like, oh, I thought you said, right?
Stop some a little bit.
Well, that's so cool for an Italian.
And Sonny's, well, he's home now.
Right.
If we're being literal.
Right.
Well, if we're being figurative on the show.
If we're talking about literally, he's not home yet.
Right.
Literally, he's not.
Yeah, so and LB has a final.
So he had a final today is Monday.
And then he's coming home and then LB has a final today and then she has one on Wednesday.
Then they do this thing at UCLA called the Undy run.
Uh-huh.
There's always really funny things.
Okay.
So I'm talking to LB last night on the phone.
It's really funny.
LB, I am closer to LB.
Closer to LB now that she's gone to college.
Then I was the entire year that she was living at home and depressed.
Yeah.
It's so nice.
Yeah.
She calls me to tell me things.
I'm up on all her tea.
She'll text me, oh my god, mom, I have news.
We need to go over it.
And then she'll, yeah, she called me late last night to tell me about a friend of hers who
had a breakup.
And, you know, yeah, because I was like, okay, well, when you find out the deal, go to
me.
And then she was like, are you still up?
Yeah.
I'm going to call you.
Okay.
And while I was talking to her, I guess it was mid, it turned midnight.
I hear all this screaming.
And I'm like, what is going on?
And she was like, oh my god, that's so funny.
I haven't been home for this before.
I haven't been at school for this before.
And I was like, what is it?
And she's like, finals week, every night at midnight, in finals week, everybody does these
finals scream.
So they all open the windows to their apartment and just scream.
Really?
Yeah.
At midnight.
So, remember during COVID, every day at like six o'clock or whatever, people would open
their windows and like bang on thoughts and pans for the first responders.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Yes.
Well, this is like that, but not anything like good.
Right.
Just so there, they would open their way more narcissistic.
They open their windows and they just scream.
I guess like to let off steam, right, every day of finals week, every day of finals week.
Yes.
That's cute.
I know.
I wonder if other campuses do that.
I have no idea.
And it's called what?
Underwear?
No.
That's another thing that they do after finals on Wednesday night.
I guess all the finals are done by then.
Yeah.
Because then they're all moving.
All right.
Maybe some kids have finals on Friday.
But anyway, they do something called an undy run where they all strip down to their
underwear and go running through campus.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Which by the way, not a big difference than what the girls are wearing these days.
I mean, I have not done an Italian laundry in a long time.
I forgot.
But now that she's home, I'm like helping her.
She's got a lot of close laundry, folding, blah, blah, blah.
She does the first half.
My half is helping her fold everything.
I mean, her shorts, which I'm sure you probably see this like with Elby.
When they're washed and dried, they shrivel up into like a frickin napkin.
Like you would have like when you like just when you're at a restaurant and you take the napkin
off of around your chest and you like you crumbling up.
That's what her jeans shorts look like.
Because then they're shredded and then they're you know like jeans they curl up and
stuff.
Like what are you going to, how are you going to put these back on?
They're like, they're forever bent upwards.
Yeah.
And then the stuff that they wear, like they're just wearing like, you know, when I went
to go get her and Santa Barbara driving down the street, the girls are not, they're
like walking around not in bathing suits, but like in lingerie.
I know.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
And again, like here, I sound like an old lady with the music, with the clothes.
I'm with you.
It's weird.
Like we started out starting to get a little upset about Brandy.
Yes.
Brandy Melville.
And we started to go like, I remember when Elby was like 11 and starting to be like, oh my
god, I'm not dressing like the other girls.
And I remember she cried in the mall.
She was really quiet.
We were walking around the mall.
She was teeny frickin tiny at 11.
Yeah.
And then I was like, I'm not dressing like the other girls.
I was like, I'm not dressing like the other girls.
Brandy Melville.
And I was like, I didn't even know what it was.
I was the first one on the complaining train about that.
Because I brought her in.
And I was like, OK, but even those little halter tops,
at least on her, go down to the waist of her jeans.
Right.
Because she was so little.
Right.
So I was like, all right.
I'll get you something.
But that's when I started to see like, oh my god.
Yes.
And I brought her to like, holster kids.
Holster kids.
Holster is like a kids.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, so that I can spend $40 on a t-shirt.
On a t-shirt that's like the size of like a lunsy.
That says squad goals.
Right.
Yes.
And then we started to realize, oh my god, our kids, our little girls
are being dressed like hos.
Yep.
Yeah.
And it just kept going.
It kept going.
It kept getting worse.
It's just kept worse.
Teenier and tinier tinier.
It's crazy.
But yes.
So they go running out in their underwear.
Yes.
Which yes.
I totally agree with you is not that much different than what they normally wear.
Is she going to do it?
Oh yeah.
Oh, she can't wait.
She did it last year.
They do it.
I think it's twice a year because they do it at the end of every, every time there's finals.
Uh-huh.
So there's two, two sessions of no three.
Because there's three quarters.
Right.
So there was fall.
So finals for fall quarter.
And then there were finals for winter and then fall.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
A lot of running around in their underwear.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, that's fun.
Yeah.
But so yeah.
So I don't even know why we started talking about that.
Oh, just just just summer.
I'll be in the gossip and that.
Yeah.
So we can talk about the club.
We're in.
Oh.
Hell.
Yeah.
This is so funny.
Um.
Okay.
So.
Lynette sent me this.
I'm just trying to.
I came across this.
This Instagram video.
Yesterday.
And immediately I thought of you.
I was like, I didn't know how it came across my feed.
And it's for a club.
Yeah.
We want to join up.
Yes.
Well, we're already kind of.
Honorary members of.
I would say we are.
Yeah.
It's called the, we do not care club.
Right.
And it's, it's a.
Founder.
Somebody we can really get behind.
We're going to, we're going to play it for you.
Okay.
So I started this club called a, we do not care club.
And this is for anybody going through.
Paramanopods and mental powers.
I posted a video asking who wanted to join.
And when I take, we got so many members in this club.
What I did was compile a list of all the stuff that we don't care about no more.
Okay.
We don't care about bras no more because bra suffocators.
We don't need that no more.
We don't care.
We look pregnant.
We really not pregnant.
We don't care about matching clothes and wearing PJs all day.
Clothes is clothes.
That's it.
That's the standard.
We don't care about being on time for that baby.
Be happy that I showed up because I don't need one to be here.
We don't have to, we don't care about unpainting the big toenails and when flip flops with them.
Listen, that's a luxury to be able to paint your toenails.
Tonails is toenails just what I'm going with my flip flops.
And that's that.
We don't care about the brand of state.
We got shit of attitudes.
We don't care about watching tits.
I can still clean up.
Don't know about it.
I'm trying to clean up no way.
I mean, really, truly, if people around us putting mess in up, then maybe we would clean
up.
But that's out.
When we get killed, we look like Adam, Sam, and William, and this is night.
That's it.
If I, that's how I look, then that's how I look.
God made me this way.
We do not care that I had not come.
Baby has a luxury.
We don't care about that no more.
We don't care about having a cell.
Like it's just a little bit more.
We don't care about that.
We don't care about having a cell.
We don't care about that.
We don't care about having a cell.
Like it's short shorts.
- I found you like Ann.
- Yeah.
- Hair is a luxury.
(laughs)
Who cares if he look like Adam Sandler
who has a sweet face?
- It's just how we look.
- Oh my god, my face hurts from laughing at that.
She has a lot of like surprising weapons in it.
We have to post it on the page,
yeah, we'll post it on our.
- Because then there if you read the comments,
the comments just keep adding on to it.
And I adding on to it,
- More stuff people don't care about.
- More stuff that people don't care about.
Like, and then there was another video that came out too.
There's a couple of them now.
After I saw that one,
now a couple of more of her popped up
with more list of things
that she just doesn't give a fuck about anymore.
- She's like our new that except for the opposite
are just liby.
- Oh, yes.
- That was if you and I having a good day.
- Sit there and ask yourself why?
Is it shit that bad that you can't have yourself a good day?
Clouds out, my kids still go.
Clouds out, clouds is out.
I love that video.
Yeah, this is sort of like Los Angeles feeling good.
(laughing)
- Yeah, this is like the opposite of that.
- Yes, yes.
- Because I don't care.
If you, I'll clean up if you stop messing stuff up.
- Yes.
- Bros, we're not wearing bras.
I don't care about bras.
They're suffocating us.
Clothes are clothes.
- Where in my pajamas?
- We're in the same things every day.
Don't match.
- Oh, oh, my favorite is the toenails one
because I literally was thinking that the other day
I was like, I put on some flip flops and my toes are not painted
and I was like, I gotta get my toenails done
if I'm gonna start wearing flip flops
and then I was like, but do I?
(laughing)
Do I?
'Cause toenails are toenails.
- toenails are toenails.
This is the way it is.
- Legs and legs.
- Legs are my toes.
I'm wearing my flip flops.
(laughing)
What are you gonna do?
I was like, honestly, I had a thought in my head
of like, oh my God, I have to make an appointment.
I have to go get a pedicure.
I've been paid $30.
- Yes.
- While I'm there, I'm gonna be like, well, my brows.
I'm gonna have a wall in Rome.
Get my brows done, then I'm gonna get my lips waxed
and then they're gonna rip some skin off again.
I'm gonna have a big scab that looks like herpes.
It's all like, why not just wear the flip flops?
(laughing)
If you give a mouse a fucking cookie, you know?
(laughing)
He's gonna want you to get your mustache waxed.
- Right.
- I'm not about that anymore.
I don't care.
- Yeah.
- I'm in the, I don't care club.
- Right.
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- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Pretty big topic you wanted to talk about
and we even turned on John's mic.
So you can join in the discussion.
- Hello.
- Hi, John.
- Hi. - Sitting behind me.
(laughing)
- Do I make you nervous?
- No.
- Okay.
Yes, I wanted to talk about the valley.
- Yeah.
- Which, I'm starting to warm up to it.
I didn't like any of these people.
- I still don't. - I still don't either.
- Do you, John?
It's kind of a shit show.
I mean, there's one grounding person.
I'll keep that to myself for a second.
But they're, even they are not likeable.
They're just not evil.
- Right, right.
- Which is?
- It's Danny.
Danny's, he's got his issues and he's basic as hell,
but he's just, he's not diabolical and evil
like the rest of them.
- I, I, yeah.
I could see that.
I agree.
He's just a dorky.
- Yeah, he's super basic.
He says the most chalk thing to every response,
every situation, he sounds like a meme.
But he's not, you know, I don't think either here is wife
or driven by, you know, wanting to be the center of every drama.
They're not trying to create, you know,
screen time for themselves where most of the others are.
- I agree.
I think, so I mean, yeah, the, the rest of them is just like,
I mean, first of all, Jackson's the worst person.
He's the worst human being ever.
And then I don't know Brittany from Vanderbump.
I never watched Vanderbump.
But I don't, I don't get a, I don't know.
She's, I, I feel for her for what her situation is.
But I don't like any of them.
Like I'm not really brooding for anybody.
- No, no.
Michelle or what's his face?
Her husband, his, her, Jesse, he's gross.
- So gross.
- I mean, they're just, yeah.
Here's the thing, how do you feel?
And you, you brought this up to me.
- Yes.
- But it, it's, it is hard to watch.
Okay.
How am I going to say this without?
I don't want to be a hypocrite.
Danny clearly has something going on with his drinking.
But the other ones have worse stuff going on with their drinking.
So like, with all the attention on Danny's drinking,
seems to get a little bit crazy when you're like,
but Jackson's a freaking horrible co-catect
and has been for years like,
and but we're gonna really spend all of our time focusing
on Danny drinking a pantry.
- That's what I, is it because they don't have anything
to talk about?
I don't get what the premise of the show is.
They all live in the valley.
- Yeah.
- They're all miserable.
- Yeah.
- They're, they're hot as shit, 'cause it's hot in the valley.
- Right.
- But like, I don't get what the show is.
Is it because they, where they all friends from Vanderpump,
are they from, yeah.
- I think I asked you this before,
but there's some from Vanderpump, it's some not.
And then the other two, Sharmuth does,
they show up from Vanderpump, what is,
what are they doing there?
- Lala and Shayna, Shayna, what are they?
- Shayna and Lala.
- Basically, it's, I mean, the valley is a,
is a hair ball that was coughed up by Vanderpump rules.
- Okay.
That's exactly what it is.
- But some of the people aren't really from Vanderpump.
- No, but they, you know, the,
the hair ball caught some stuff coming up the esophagus
and it's all, it lands on the floor
in front of us for, for viewing, which is,
which is fine, that all so many reality shows,
there's no reason, I mean, there's no real reason
for them to be together other than the fact
that they're on a reality show and they are,
they're aware that they're, they're,
they're there to fight with each other.
They're like, you know, they're like some sort of a Mexican
fighting roosters, not to be, - Fighting cocks,
you mean fighting cocks?
I was trying to, yeah.
- Cockfights.
- Yeah, I get like, it's so, okay,
so they're just, they're just, just, start,
that's why I feel like they're talking about Danny
because they can't talk about Jack's
'cause he's in, he's in his rehab.
- He's in timeout.
- He's in timeout, yeah.
So they, so they have nothing, I just feel like they,
it's just seemed so cooked, everything seemed so cooked.
- Yeah.
- And, and I mean, - And I manufacture drama.
- Especially Janet, to me, who just is trying to insert
herself into every storyline, like she's just like
a mosquito.
- Yes.
- I think next week we'll have our ad for the Zingo,
that we need the Zingo, we need Jiana Zingo.
- Jiana Zingo says she's so annoyed, is she?
- She is, like, - Stop.
- With the, all right, with the pantry.
Okay, he drank, he had a few swallows of tequila
and a pantry.
I know why, what's in it for her to go after them?
- Screen time.
- That what it is, 'cause I didn't get,
if there's some background, then I don't know
that these people have.
- And she keeps upping the stakes.
Like if people don't really care, then she's like,
no, but you don't understand.
I'm really triggered because my ex-husband
had, is an alcoholic or had substance abuse issues.
And then at some point she made a comment about
like that she was kind of scared, like being alone
in the pantry.
It's like, what are,
- Oh, come on.
- What are you doing, Jiana?
What are you scared of, Danny?
- Yeah.
- You scared of that little dork?
- Also, I really don't like Jason anymore.
How do you feel, Jon?
- Jason's just, I mean, he's an accept,
well, yeah, one thing if Jason is,
Janet's husband, right?
- Yeah.
I mean, again, everybody by this,
I mean, after 20 years of reality,
everybody knows, and particularly Bravo is famous for
culling their casts between seasons and then recasting.
And everybody who's on any reality show,
but particularly a Bravo reality show,
know that their contract is very contingent upon
during the shit.
And you can just see,
and I mean, in this show more than almost any other,
you can see them going,
I'm not getting enough screen time,
I'm not injecting myself into enough storylines.
And it's present with most of them, not all of them,
but most of them, but Janet and Jason,
you can just see them, they're like,
"Oh my God, we're on the cut, we're on the cut,
"if we don't step this up, we're not gonna be here."
So what kind of shit can we stir?
And they're trying to inject themselves into everything
and inflate it.
And it's just even more transparent
than I think they realize.
- Yeah.
I mean, do the producers say,
"Okay, you guys are gonna go to the beach
"and then have at it?"
Is that what they, like, yeah.
- They have an outline.
Usually if you're a reality producer,
you usually give your cast an outline of things to talk about
and sort of the things that you wanna service in this scene.
You don't sit there and you don't typically feed them lines
or anything, but you do brief them before.
And there's, you know, every shoot is gonna cost, you know,
8, 10 grand with the entire crew.
So you don't just wanna go out and get what you can get.
You wanna make sure you get what you need.
So you sit and everybody knows
and you remind them of the things that were pissing them off
and you stir them up and you give them a couple of drinks
before and then you let them go
and then you'll usually stop down in the middle
and brief again, but it's generally guided
but not scripted per se.
- Interesting.
For a lot of these people though, you know,
they have, they get together and come up with like,
okay, and the thing is it's kind of a hard line,
I think, to walk because if you become like Alisa Rina
on the housewives and you'd go too much,
then they kick you off.
If you don't do enough, they kick you off.
So you gotta try to find that sweet spot
for your causing problems and instigating
and then they're like, well, we need that person on that wall
even though people are starting to hate them.
- Right. - Yeah.
I get, I would be bad on these shows
because like, you want me to instigate what?
Well, I'm gonna accuse a guy of drinking
and being afraid of him in the closet
or I'd be like, eh.
(laughing)
A sit in this one house.
- That's one thing.
- Interesting.
Again, casting basically, reality is all casting
and you wanna basically screen out the people
with normal senses of shame and decency.
Those you wanna get out as quickly as possible.
You've got eight casting directors on these shows,
plus at the very end, once they're down to their final 20,
you bring a psychologist in and they try to see,
okay, who's the one that's got the real screw loose
that's gonna be, we need a couple of unhinged
villains and let's make sure that they're really ready
to go off.
It's a science.
- Yeah, wow.
Remember when you, didn't you get interviewed
for real Hausses of Beverly Hills?
- Yeah, you, you, didn't you, or no, somebody else.
- I forgot for you. - Somebody else, yeah.
You, somebody else set me up for that.
And then you had a friend, yeah, they wanted to see pictures
of our house and it was like in lock and yard,
I don't live in Beverly Hills.
And yeah, they were just like, no.
Really?
Yeah, but I didn't want to do it really.
I mean, I answered them and I sent pictures just to see
like what the next step would be,
but then it was like, they never took it to the next step.
And thank God, because I don't, I don't,
I don't think I could have done, I could do it.
Would you want to do it?
- Oh, God no.
- No, never.
First of all, people trump up charges against you, right?
And then the whole internet turns against you.
I can't take, it's, yeah.
I don't like my family being talked about in general.
Imagine like, no old guard, like people just go crazy
and every, like, I don't know how people like Kyle,
yeah, Kyle Richards, I don't know how she survives every day.
Like people hate her.
And like if you watch her on the show, you're like,
she's, I'm not saying she's a normal person.
Obviously she's not a normal person.
She's very, very rich, but like other than being very rich,
she's a normal person.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Like some of those housewives on an exult like city,
some of these housewives that have committed all these crimes.
- Oh, yeah.
- Imagine being them, but then imagine being one of the ones
that's like kind of a normal person.
- Yeah, I mean, she has no, yeah, I feel like she has,
you could, I feel like she's more normal because you could tell
by her relationships.
She has friendships that she's had for years.
And she seems like a loyal friend.
And maybe her time is up on that show because she doesn't really
seem to be stirring up drama.
The drama comes to be going after her to the point where it's like,
you're not even talking about your life or whatever.
Like, you know, like, and why did Garceau quit?
Did she quit because of, she was like sick of,
she felt like she was being, they were being fake
and not being themselves or why can't we talk about Kyle's,
you know, girlfriend or whatever.
- Just only seem to want to talk about Kyle and Morgan.
- Right, that's all she wanted to talk about.
- She wanted to talk about, yeah.
- And then she felt like she didn't really have her own drama
going on, but she was like, I'm an open book,
even though she didn't have anything to be open about.
- Yeah.
- And then she was really mad.
Well, she was also mad that she kept trying to get Sutton
to go after Kyle and Sutton was trying to play bullsides.
- Yeah.
- So Sutton would be like, all right, all right,
let's bring it up and then Garceau would bring it up
and Sutton would just kind of sit there and go,
well, let's not be crazy.
Like, and then, yeah, so, and I like Garceau,
but I thought it was unfair for Garceau to go after Kyle like that
because knowing, I mean, she's going through this divorce
and it's not getting, it's not, it wasn't getting pleasant
while they're filming.
There's pictures of her ex kissing a girl at some airport
or whatever, that can't be, you know, feel great.
You know, I mean, you're going through this divorce
and you have kids that you're trying to protect.
You got your ex-husband that's out there,
Philandra, Philandra thinking, yeah.
- 475.
- He's a Flander, right?
And turned out that music, kids.
And get off my lawn while you're at it.
- I need to first throw in the cat.
- A cat.
- You don't know, cat.
- Yeah, cat, cat.
- Oh my God, everybody was wondering the direction
that for crying out loud was going to take.
This is it.
- This is it.
- Be fucking great gardens like old daughtering,
we'll just be 80 and we'll just be like--
- I think I think I think I think I think I think I could do.
- 23 skiddo.
- Completing about our grandkids and our great grandkids.
- Yeah.
- Just respectful.
- People don't listen to podcasts anymore.
We've been doing podcasts and you were in diapers.
- Exactly, before you were born.
(laughing)
- But yeah.
- What do you think at Rachel's Zell joining the cast?
- Oh is she?
Did you know that?
- No, Beverly Hills.
- She's turning Beverly Hills, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
I don't know, should I care?
I mean, she's, I think, got a big personality.
- Is she dramatic?
- Yeah, I think so.
I watched her show on Bravo years ago
when she was doing her own show on Bravo.
- Mm-hmm.
- And yeah, she's just got this big
personality.
I think she's gonna clash with some of them
and she's got divorced, so she's got that.
So I can't stand to a read, to be honest with you.
- Oh, I know, yeah.
I see, but there's another show that I have to watch
and do recaps up for Roseprix that I don't like any of them
and I don't, I don't, I used to look forward at least
to like, I mean, you and I used to watch housewives
before I ever complimented.
And we couldn't wait to talk about it
and then people couldn't wait to get mad at us
for talking about it.
Remember when people would be like,
"Ah, I fast forward through the housewives talk."
- Right.
- But then people were like,
"Oh, if you guys like housewives so much,
you would love Ronnie and Ben from Watch What Crappens
and then who did not have a big podcast at the time,
now they're like top 200 consistently."
And then I went and listened to them
and I was like, "Now that's funny,
they really snark on them."
Then we had them on our podcast.
- You remember that?
- Yes, many years ago.
- Yeah, they were great.
- Yeah, and then people were all about it.
Like, "Oh, they look, not us talking about housewives,
like we are committing a crime."
The things that we've gone through.
- I know.
- To bring entertainment to the masses.
They're like, "Get back to talk about your kids."
Then we talk about our kids.
They'd be like, "Oh my God, enough about like,
LB already."
We just need to get LB cast on the Valley.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh my God, the crossover.
- Oh my God.
- For our, well, there's that new generation NYC shell.
- Right.
- Which I don't find any interest in it.
I don't know me because I'm old.
- I don't care either.
- I don't care about Kim Zolziac's daughter.
- No.
- I mean, I don't care about Kim Zolziac,
but I'm a loner daughter.
Now it's like once removed from every time these news shows,
here's another one, the Mormon wife.
- Yeah, the Mormon wife.
- The Mormon wife.
I liked season one.
I genuinely thought it was good.
But then some kind of life force left my body
when I found out, "Oh, season two is out."
Or is it, "Are we on season three?"
Season two is out.
Okay, and I was like,
"I don't think I care anymore."
- Yeah.
- I don't know what happened between season one
when I was like, couldn't wait to get on the mic
to talk about that.
And now I'm like, "Ah, ah."
And people are like, "No, but it's really dramatic."
And I'm like, "I've forgotten who all of them are."
- Right.
- I remember we used to talk about this,
like our memories where the older you get,
it's not old age that's ruining our memory.
It's that we just have memorized too much shit at this point.
- Yeah.
- So we would have to lose something important
like our social security number to take on,
like who Whitney is and what her backstory is.
- Right, right.
- We would lose, and that's the thing about our kids,
why they remember everything
'cause they have so much less to remember.
- Yes, it's like that, you know,
when you look on your computer or your phone,
it's like the memory space.
- Yeah, the memory space.
- Yeah, we're using too much.
- Yes, and we need to like clean it out.
We need to get like an app for our brains
where it goes, you don't need season one
of the real housewives.
You don't need to know who Kim Richards is anymore.
- Right.
- Right, and then people would be like,
oh my God, you don't remember Kim Richards,
but that would be like our kids, age.
And we'd be like, no, I had to clean that out.
(laughing)
But I would have to do a disc sweep.
- I wanna keep Paradise Hotel.
- I love Paradise Hotel.
See, and somewhere along the line,
oh yeah, we gotta do two ads.
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- Woo.
I forgot what I was just gonna say.
Yeah, John, what were we talking about?
(laughing)
- We were talking about, we started out talking about the Valley,
which is the only reality show I watch right now,
but then it pivoted and I just got a blank look in my eyes
'cause I can't watch the housewives.
The Valley has some appeal, I think because who's the,
I was gonna call him Jason, but it's not Jason.
Who's the one who's calling?
No, who's the one that's calling his ex-wife, Carl Girl?
- Jesse.
- Jesse Lolley.
- I know there's all these, Jesse.
- All these, Jesse.
- Jesse, but yeah, he's the hook for me because I look at him
and he's straight, I think that he may be,
I mean, he seems in my opinion to be like,
on the, he's out of his mind.
And just, I think that that goes beyond reality TV.
He's just got that look.
- Well, he's a co-catic.
- He is too?
- Yes.
Michelle went on a podcast and basically said exactly
what is going on with him and how crazy he is
and how he came in to do the season with a binder
of like exactly what they're gonna say,
what their storylines are gonna be,
what they're gonna,
and she was like, fuck this, I'm not doing that.
And he's super controlling.
He didn't want her to get Potosan.
The doctor wanted to, during her childbirth,
her laborer was taking way, way, way too long
and the baby's heart rate was going down
and the doctor wanted to use Potosan.
And Jesse was like, nope, no, I don't know enough about it
or whatever.
- Dr. Jesse.
- Dr. Jesse, right.
- Dr. Jesse Lolley.
- Yeah, from the Lolley.
- Yeah, so.
- Basically, he started doing Coke.
Well, she claims we should say allegedly, just to.
- Well, that's what she says.
- All right, so allegedly.
- So I don't know, I wasn't there.
I didn't drug test him.
(laughing)
- I don't know.
- I wasn't there.
- I drug tested him.
- Your honor.
(laughing)
- This is so rude.
I literally went to his house and drug tested him
and now you're saying like, I didn't see
with my own eye in the positive drug test, okay.
(laughing)
- Yeah, but he's just so, there's,
I mean, I need that kind of hook.
I'm like, he could go off the rails
in a big way that transcends, you know,
usual reality production.
And I'm like, okay, that's, I'm kind of hooked.
- Yeah.
- And obviously, Jack's is out of his fucking mind.
- Yes.
- And it's just the, when you've got, again,
we've always, Stephanie, even back,
you know, when I was producing some of these things,
is like, you need durable narcissists.
But these guys go beyond durable narcissists.
These are beyond that.
I mean, and again, Jack's is, he's so unhinged
and Jesse is so unhinged.
And some of the other ones are so craven
that it just, I'm like, oh, it's psychology.
It's interesting psychology that bursts beyond
the producers' best efforts.
And to me, that's what makes a good show.
Now, I watch housewives and I know, you know,
some of the producers on the current iterations.
And they're great producers.
And I can almost see their Andy Wins, like, well done,
momentaged and everything.
But I just, I look at the value.
I'm like, they are barely controlling a couple
of those people.
The rest are, we'll do anything to stay on the show
like we talked about.
- Right.
- But there are a couple of them that are just so bad shit
that I'm like, ooh, I'm bought in.
Let me see this.
- Yeah.
- I'll watch that for the season.
That's literally, I think, the only reality show I watch.
But because it's just for the psychology of about two of them.
- Yeah.
You know, yeah, you're right.
You want somebody to watch, somebody to watch
that you could like, go, this guy can go off the rails
at any second.
- Yeah, beyond any producers' outline, beyond any
pre-agreed, beyond any phone call behind the scenes
from Andy Cohen.
They are just, they're riding that line of,
and you can, I mean, I think anybody can see it.
But if you've worked in this kind of TV,
you really can see it.
And it's like, oh, oh my goodness.
- Yeah.
- Maybe this is good, maybe it's bad,
but it's certainly it's, you can't look away.
That's why, that's why I watch the ballet.
- Right, yeah, bless you.
Oh, you'll edit that out and post.
No, I won't.
- Okay.
- I know.
- Floon A's, our new sponsor.
(laughing)
- The only thing I don't like is when you can really see
the producing, like, remember the scene
where Jack's was talking to the guy
that was supposedly like from rehab.
This was so faked, and they had
the guy calling him and he's like, hey, buddy.
- Oh, and he was on the phone.
- Yeah.
- He was like suddenly being polyshore, like, hey, buddy.
You need some help.
Like, and Jack was like, yeah, man.
Like, I need to go to like, I don't know, rehab
or whatever, and the guy's like, all right, buddy.
Like, let's, maybe let's get you like,
let's like, that's not what happened.
And that is, that guy probably does not even work
for any kind of rehab.
- Right.
- That's like a PA on the show.
- Oh, okay.
- That's like Natalia working on Jimmy Kimmel.
- Yeah, they just like pulled it.
They're like, you're here twice a week.
Get in here.
We need you to be in a scene.
- Right.
- Be on the phone.
- Yeah.
- And oddly, that person was probably wearing
some Jack's bar swag today.
- Totally.
- Jack's will not, he is not to my eye.
He has not been in a single shot this season without either
a hat or a hoodie that advertises his bar or both.
- Right.
- He will not do a setup without--
- I know, I know that.
And is she changing it to Britz bar?
- I don't, I think they're joking.
- Are they joking?
- I think they're just like hyping her up, you know?
- And is that bargett?
It does seem like nobody's in there every time they go in there.
Like, I don't know.
- No, I drive by it sometimes when I'm going to make
a run down there and I just, it seems quiet.
It does not.
I'm sure that probably during filming, they probably--
- It's where the Old Sportsman's lodge was, right?
- Across the other side of the street.
- Oh, it is?
- Yeah.
It's right there.
- Just as you turn right where Coenga kind of turns into Ventura.
And it's right and it's on the other side of the street.
- Oh, that's not where I was thinking.
I was thinking more like cold water.
- No, it's further east.
But it's pretty quiet.
I mean.
- Seems empty when they're there, when they go in there.
- I know.
I don't know what's going on.
What is this room where you guys hearing about,
or did you hear about Andy Cohen doing cocaine?
- Oh.
- Like offering any other--
- What's her name?
Who's suing?
- Leah.
- Yeah, it's in there.
- I read that in some like TMZ thing,
but yeah, she's saying that she's really, really on event data,
whether it's true or not, who knows.
But that I think that's one of the claims.
- Yeah.
She was claiming that he was doing it in front of them
and encouraging them to do it or whatever.
I mean, I could, if you think about it,
and you watch Andy Cohen watch what happens live,
100%, I could see him doing cocaine,
because how the hell does he have all that energy every single night?
Like, I just get exhausted just watching him.
He's so, you know, he's coming with all this energy.
Although I don't see him like going,
hey, like, how about you do a little coke?
- Yeah, I mean, he's--
- What a little tootsky?
- Never say, never say never,
because there've been, you know,
100 times ago, I could never say,
but Andy Cohen is a, is a bright tactical guy.
I mean, he was, he's the only, he was a behind the scenes.
- Yes.
- Exactly.
Bravo for years.
I know a couple of people that used to be friends with him
and it's like, oh yeah.
And he wants to be on, but they're never gonna put him on TV
and suddenly, you know, 10 years hence.
But--
- When I worked at ABC, he was coming in all the time,
meeting with Michael Davies, who was our,
he was the head of our reality set.
- Yeah, alternative in reality.
- Now he's, you know, embassy is his company.
- He's a Brit.
- Yeah, yeah.
He's a nice guy.
And Andy Cohen would come in there all the time, you know.
Yeah, he was an executive.
So he is a bright guy.
So I don't, that's, yeah.
- It just, it would seem very out of character.
He's not that, I mean, that is an exposure beyond exposure.
I can't see him doing that, but again,
people have moments, but I tend to doubt it.
- Yeah.
What's a rough business?
It is.
- It's a shrinking business.
- Reality is?
- Yeah, well, Bravo is the only really thriving network right now
that's doing a lot of reality.
- Netflix does a ton of reality.
- Yeah, but mostly, I mean, the things that are being greenlit
right now are game shows and true crime.
Everything else is on hold except for Bravo.
Bravo is doing all of their, but.
- Well, that's not true, because Netflix does tons
of dating shows.
- But they're on the way.
Their numbers are going down and a lot less are being greenlit.
- Really?
- I feel like what's the one, not blind date, but love is blind.
- Love is blind.
- Our favorite.
- Yeah.
- That's good.
It has another season.
- Yeah, that's not hurting them out.
- You'll see that, but I think you won't see, for instance.
- And they're doing the ultimatum.
And there's like, every time I go to Netflix,
there's more dating shows.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- There's another one called something like twist the,
- Oh, I see.
- It's like the situation where they have a couple,
but then they bring in one of their situations.
I'm like,
okay, yeah.
Sure.
I'm not gonna watch it, but I mean, I'm like, wow,
that's really stretched.
That seems like two people that are kind of high
sitting around like going, like we need another dating show.
What if?
- Right.
- Yeah, the numbers, according to all of the, like the,
the Mipcons and all of the,
the contracting conventions that is that nobody, either,
I mean, and they pay attention to who's buying one in Europe
and who's buying one in the States.
People are buying a lot less dating shows.
Netflix is kind of the outlier
and they're mostly going on their legacy shows,
but what exists still of, you know,
what used to be basic cable,
they are just, you know, frozen in place
and they will only oxygen is buying only true crime.
You know, it's true crime in game shows
and game shows mostly that they can produce,
you know, in Ireland or Mexico cheaper than in the States.
So it's, - Yeah, I'll go.
- You go, okay.
- You said, "Jump, do you, do you know?"
- Before we, before we wrap,
have you told the terror read story in a long time?
Like speaking of being produced, doing being a producer,
John has this embarrassing story,
which I just, I just got reminded of,
you should have told it.
- Anything that has to do with terror read, I'm gonna say.
- Yeah, it's, I mean, it's, you know,
I am the butt of the story and, and rightfully so,
it was, God, this has got to be 15 years ago
and I was working for a company in the valley
and the company was on, most of the shows
that they were doing were on hiatus.
So normally there'd be like 40 people,
but it was an open concept,
one of these open concept offices
where even the partners were out in the open,
so open communication, it was loud as hell,
but there were probably four people in an office
of, you know, that would normally have 35.
And I was just wrapping up the end of some show
that I had produced and, you know,
just turning in the clearances
and the production bible and the budget
and all this boring stuff.
So everybody was just, and there was an editor,
there was one of the partners in the company
and there was an agent who represented the company
who I knew and he had just this guy with him
and he was just keeping the guy a little walk around.
This is the company I represent
and they're gonna do big things and here's the,
and the clearance supervisor,
really lovely woman walked in who I knew
and I knew her husband as well.
He was a degenerate Patriots man.
And this is between the two Patriots,
Patriots had one big surge of super bowls
that, you know, in the early odds
and then they had a bit of a valley they went into
and then they had a second golden period.
So this is in between the two
and so the Patriots are kind of down on their,
not down on their luck, but they're middle of the pack
and I'm sitting there and the clearance woman's husband,
and used to buy a new Patriot hat for every game
and if they won he'd put it on a trophy case forward
and if they lost he'd place it backwards.
He was that hardcore and I said,
"Hey, how was he doing?"
And you know, the Patriots were losing and I said,
"You know, and at that point Tom Brady was a dated,
"terroreed."
And there was a brief, it was one of those brief things
way before he married Jacelle Bunch
and so he was still a young, fairly single guy
and I said, "Oh, well," I said, "It's, you know,
"she said he's kind of bummed, they're not doing as well."
I said, "It's probably 'cause he dated terror read."
I said, "You know, you've got that terror read curse, you know?"
She comes in and maybe she brings a little coke with her
and suddenly she's bed hopping and every guy
that's gotten hooked up with her seems to go into
a bit of a downward trajectory
and she said, "Yeah, so I go back to what I'm doing."
And you know, just said that probably louder than I should
because it was, you know, it's an empty office
who really is paying attention.
So about 10 minutes later, the agent comes up to me
and he goes, "Hey, you're John, aren't you?"
And I'm like, "Yeah, you're so and so."
And he's like, "I just wanna tell you something,
"you've got a fucking big mouth."
And I said, "Okay, I said, is there anything with that?"
I said, and he said, "I've got a guest with me, you know what is?"
It's, it's, what's there?
I think his name was Paul Reed.
She said, "It's Paul Reed, you know who his sister is?
Terror read."
(laughing)
And I'm like, "Oh my God."
I said, "Yeah."
I said, "That John's biggest nightmare by the way,
"he's got the worst social anxiety."
I said, "All right, I think I said, I think I do have a big mouth
"and I'm so ahead."
And so, I finally, I went up to the guy I said, "Dude, I said,
"I am, you know, I've been working in entertainment
"for 20 years and I should know better."
And I basically, I am just repeating tabloid bullshit
and I said, "Oh."
Obviously your sister is, you know,
I'm training her like a commodity and not like a person
and that's something, you know, doing what we do.
I should know better and I'm sorry and--
- Oh, John.
- Well, it was too--
- It was way too much for light and she needed me.
- I know, but it was, you know, I never met her in my life.
I don't know her.
I only know what I was reading in us weekly.
And I was just regurgitating it like a moron.
And I did.
I know this guy, an apology.
- What did he say?
- He accepted it.
Not, I mean, he looked like he wanted to punch me.
I don't blame him.
Because, I mean, but it's just, it's got,
particularly at that time, I mean, certainly she's
out of the headlines these days,
but at that point she was, you know, always on--
- Yeah.
- T.M.
- She was just a shade behind like Britney Spears
and Lindsey Lohan and right behind that, you'd have that.
And, you know, and I got, I mean, you got to feel bad
for her brother.
He's just seeing her sister being chewed up
in the mid-Auts tabloids, which were a different thing
before social media.
And it's just, you know, it was stupid.
- How are you supposed to know that Tara reads brother?
- Well, there, I mean--
- That was, the one thing in my defense
and like, okay, there are five people in this audience
or in this office, rather.
There are five people.
And in Los Angeles County, we've got 40 million people
in Los Angeles County alone.
What's the chance that one of the five?
But, you know, I put my foot in my mouth and I,
yeah, it was stupid.
I should have known better.
- John did not feel bad for me when we were sitting at a table
with Mauricio behind us and people were
loudly discussing the fact that, oh my God, Stephanie's
pointing out Mauricio.
And I was like, how can you not feel for me
when you have had that happen?
- But I didn't, I mean, I was,
I didn't think that Mauricio was, foreign,
I mean, he wasn't across the room,
but he was-- - He was right behind me.
- He was, there was an empty table between us
and he and his daughter-- - No, it wasn't.
Yeah, we were sitting at a table.
The table right behind us was he was sitting at.
He was in front of me.
- There was a seat between us.
- I even took a seat.
- I've got a picture somewhere.
- You have the picture, I know we have a picture.
Anyway. - He was 12 feet behind you
in the lab restaurant.
- We got a rapid, a, oh my God.
Did we do our shots, our name shots yet?
I don't think we did.
- No, we did.
We did a last time on the first show.
- We did first show.
- So let's just do them.
Ashley, she's chic.
Stephanie is a stinker rinker.
Athena, we love your lipstick, especially when you do mat.
- It was really cute on you.
Sandra, you're green around the gills
'cause you ate something bad.
Jennifer, you need to stand up, don't fall.
Erin is a dirty stanchess.
Leslie, why?
- Why? - Alicia Scolante is still
from the city of El Monte.
I'm sorry, but Kelly Brandt.
- She will still take you and she is your aunt.
- Yeah, and Rebecca Lubin is so cute.
And Eshan Vajpay is for her aunt.
What are you-- - What are you?
- We can't change that.
- That's what you're saying. - That's what you're changing it.
Gabi and Missy.
- They're still hot mess.
Katarina from the city of Catalina.
- There you go.
- There.
Valerie.
- Bertnelli.
- Bertnelli is listening to our show.
Pauli knows where her bread is buttered.
Rita's a bassitound.
What? - No, that's cute.
- They're 'cause they're cute.
- Yeah. - They're fucking cute.
And Elizabeth Williamson, she does have a lot of kids.
You can't-- - What are we gonna do?
- What are we gonna do?
- Yeah.
- Not say that.
Nikki.
Yeah.
Come on now, Nikki.
Kelly, Laddina.
And Dick is still a frolicer.
You know, we can only do so much.
Also, Fern Candle.
Get a Fern Candle.
Get a Candle.
- I love my Candle. - From Kelsey.
- I love my Fern Candle.
- They smell so good.
And they're packaged in such a great way.
They're very gifty.
- Yes. - If you wanna do a whole set from her time.
- Yeah, go to FernCandle.com.
Also, our friend, my friend Jacob Crowley,
is doing the Lord's work right now,
which is paying for a business shout out
so we can get people to donate money to the ACLU,
which is out there on the front lines,
providing legal representation for people
that cannot pay for it for themselves.
And fighting big cases, especially having to do with LGBT
and immigrants, and so help the ACLU,
thanks to Jacob Crowley.
Also, every episode, Adam, Adam's got a car.com.
Just helped you.
- Love him.
Thank you, Adam.
It was a pleasure.
It was so simple and easy.
No problem, O.
He came, took the car, brought the new car,
got me a cheaper price.
And is he getting you?
- And now he's gonna help me get my next car, yeah.
- Yeah, and he's helping us right now too.
- We're working with him right now.
- We're looking at the VW, yes.
I go in electric.
- We're thinking about going electric.
One of them, we can't have two electric.
You got to have one gas car for--
- Yeah, two electric avenue.
Then we'll take it higher.
See, now that's something that did not get erased
from my memory, even though--
- Maybe you should clear it out to delete it.
- Okay, I think that's it.
I think that's everybody.
Okay, see you guys tonight.
- Tonight, on Zoom.
- On our Zoom, please go join up on Patreon.
Even if you just wanna boost it for right now,
and then you can go back down if you want.
I don't care.
- Do you want?
- Come and see us.
- Yeah.
- And also listen to Drunkish, Allison Rosen's
my guest this week.
- She's still here.
- She's still this week.
And thanks, John, for helping.
- Yeah, thanks, John.
- Thanks to all you guys.
Love you guys, you're a pair now.
- Don't eff it up.
(upbeat music)
♪ It's a good, a day ♪
♪ Let it go ♪
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