1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,000
[MUSIC]

2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:14,480
Welcome to the Executive Connect Podcast, a show for the new generation of leaders.

3
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:20,760
Join Melissa R. Skagge as she speaks to a wide variety of guests that bring new insights into leadership,

4
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,760
prosperity, and personal growth.

5
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,960
While now it has all the answers, by building a community of open-minded and

6
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:33,560
gauge leaders, we hope to give you the tools you need to help you find your own path to success.

7
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,960
[MUSIC]

8
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,320
Welcome to the Executive Connect Podcast.

9
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:50,160
I am excited to have my friend Wendy Howell with us today to talk about making a meaningful impact.

10
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,920
Wendy is CEO of Executive Council Network.

11
00:00:53,920 --> 00:01:01,840
Previously Chief of Staff for Cisco, Executive Roles at M&A and Strategy at Symantec and Veritasch.

12
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:08,760
She is a true people alchemist and connector and builder for all things good.

13
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:14,120
She's passionate about supporting women and the entrepreneurial ecosystem.

14
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,800
And a staunch advocate for giving back.

15
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,560
Thank you so much, Wendy, for being with us today.

16
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:25,040
You are so welcome. I'm really, really excited to be here. I know this is going to be a great conversation.

17
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:31,680
I want to talk a little bit about a defining moment when you realize the power of making

18
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,480
meaningful impact on people.

19
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,680
I remember my first experience with you.

20
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,160
It was very meaningful.

21
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:41,560
So from your perspective, how can people do that?

22
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:48,880
I have one of my favorite stories when I was just like this sort of watershed moment.

23
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,080
Sue, I had been, I started mentoring a young girl.

24
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:58,120
This is, it's a while ago, but I was on the board of Girl Scouts of Central Texas Women of Distinction.

25
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,640
That's where I met her at one of these events.

26
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,960
And she's like, will you be my mentor?

27
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,960
Absolutely.

28
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,960
We were working together for a couple of months.

29
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,000
And then I did a sponsorship of their robotics team.

30
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:17,800
And fast forward about two months later, they actually won the state championship of robotics.

31
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,120
So I was there, of course.

32
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,480
And she came up to me with like huge tears in her eyes.

33
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,840
And she's like, we never could have done this without you and your help.

34
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,080
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

35
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:33,640
So like that moment, and there's been, there's been lots of others.

36
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,200
And they know it was same with you, Melissa.

37
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,680
But that moment really just sort of struck a core.

38
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,640
And like, yep, okay, this is super important.

39
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,320
And I need to be doing these things all the time.

40
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,440
And I think a lot of it, Melissa comes from my, my own background and journey.

41
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:53,480
I grew up like lower middle class, I guess I would say in the Midwest and ended up making

42
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:59,280
my way into tech leadership with zero technology background at all.

43
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:11,720
So I use that as a story to show girls, young women and women that really anything is possible

44
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,760
with the power of tenacity.

45
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,520
And I've, I've lived by that and my edict is say yes and figure out how.

46
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:26,840
And I use that as a story for, for women or girls, whoever I'm entering, right?

47
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,840
I love that.

48
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:34,480
I know that when I first met you, I felt so understood and appreciated and heard.

49
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:40,040
And you're like a magician and doing that when you meet people, just instantly connecting

50
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,360
with them, instantly making them feel special.

51
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:49,680
So what has inspired you to really prioritize making a difference in people's lives?

52
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:55,680
Because you are doing this all over and the boards you choose to sit on through 50, 50 women

53
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,840
for entrepreneurs, for women.

54
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:58,840
Yeah.

55
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:04,480
And you've really prioritized making an impact on people.

56
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,480
It's interesting that question, I love that question because I was thinking through this.

57
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:16,600
And was there, can I come up with any specific, single, uber inspiring event?

58
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:22,760
And what I realized is I've, a long time ago, regardless of, you know, coming up in, you

59
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:27,520
know, lower middle class, middle, the, you know, the country, I realize like today I have

60
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,240
such a great life.

61
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:37,120
And it came, it came to me that my viewpoint was, this is not an option for me to give back

62
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,120
and drive impact.

63
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,600
It is a responsibility.

64
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:47,560
It is, it is my duty to give back, to support, to build communities and to drive impact not

65
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,640
only locally, which I love to do because we live in a great place, Melissa.

66
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,440
But you know, across the globe through, you know, some nonprofits, et cetera.

67
00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:02,160
And you think about, what would our world be like if everyone were like, are you and

68
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:08,240
I and an obni and, you know, people that really are focused on that is, is like part of their,

69
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,240
part of their core.

70
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,920
I just think, I just think it should be a part of everyone's core.

71
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,000
But, you know, that's just me.

72
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000
And you know, it's true.

73
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:23,600
It's, it's having a pay it forward mentality and not being transactional with your relationships.

74
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,360
I think we've moved into a place where everything's transactional.

75
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,360
You do this.

76
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,200
I do that.

77
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:35,560
And I think to your point, when you're trying to really connect with people and really impact

78
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:42,880
people, if you look at those things as transactional, you're going to be heavily disappointed because

79
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,840
people are going to let you down at some point or another.

80
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,920
So how does this show up in your, your everyday life for you?

81
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:55,480
Like how are you mindfully showing up every day, making an impact?

82
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,480
Yeah.

83
00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,680
And also, in thinking about this question, to be, give you sort of like, you know, behind

84
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:06,320
the covers to be very transparent is the way back when I'm living in the Bay Area.

85
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:12,720
I honestly, I was one of those people where a nonprofit would come to me and say, hey,

86
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,320
we're doing this, we're doing that.

87
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,320
Can you sponsor?

88
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,560
Could you do a donation?

89
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,560
Etc.

90
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,680
And I was at Cisco, so I did a lot of sponsorship.

91
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,120
And I would be like, yep, we'll write the check.

92
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,120
It's all good.

93
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,120
Here you go.

94
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:29,960
I wasn't in there doing it and like, like actually having my hands on it.

95
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:35,920
So while that donation, sponsorship may be very impactful to the organization, it's just

96
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,040
I wasn't touching it.

97
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,040
I wanted to really impact people directly.

98
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,560
And I sort of determined at that point in my life that I wanted to be the person who's

99
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,600
truly driving impact and touching it myself.

100
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,080
My very first nonprofit that I was on the board of was Girls in Tech.

101
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:56,560
And that is sort of where, as they say, I found my jam as soon as I joined that board and

102
00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,720
I was really involved in all of the events that I was mentoring and helping people and

103
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,720
speaking.

104
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,960
And I was like, I realized impact was going to be sort of what I would call the cornerstone

105
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,960
of who I am.

106
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:13,000
And that's what drives the activities that I choose to do or the boards that I'm on or

107
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,720
the just activities in general.

108
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,840
There's a lot.

109
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:23,000
So we'll get into that in a bit more detail later.

110
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000
Yeah.

111
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:31,880
And I think you do it so eloquently and kind of I think of, you know, like a conductor playing

112
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,880
an orc.

113
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,880
It's natural for you.

114
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,600
Like it's natural for you to follow up with people and take an active interest in their

115
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,680
life.

116
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:44,680
Not only that, but making sure they're moving the needle in their life.

117
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,680
Whatever that needle is.

118
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:50,400
And so when I think of impact, I think, you know, it's not just tech.

119
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,400
It's not just women.

120
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,760
It's not just entrepreneurs.

121
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:59,280
It's, you know, if it's about their family or their jobs or it's impact across all pieces

122
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,480
of people's lives.

123
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:05,040
So, you know, you mentioned a little bit about the girl that you had mentored.

124
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:13,000
So how do you continue to grow those relationships and continue to make sure these people are moving,

125
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,280
you know, through their goals, while making an impact?

126
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:22,160
I guess the question's more like, how do you make sure that your success in impacting

127
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,840
these women are continuing to make ripple effects?

128
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,840
Yes.

129
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,560
And I think that's a really good question.

130
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:40,720
So one of the things that I try really hard to do is, you know, look at every one of these

131
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,720
relationships.

132
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:47,800
And everyone, the people or organizations that I'm trying to help, you have to continue

133
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:48,800
to be involved.

134
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,480
You have to establish this cadence, if you will.

135
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:59,760
For example, I actually, because I'm a dork, and I keep a journal of my success stories,

136
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:05,480
not mine, but what I've driven with people that I've worked with, whether that be individual

137
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:10,280
people that I'm mentoring, whether that be a nonprofit that I'm very passionate about,

138
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:15,160
a nonprofit that I'm on the board of, it is continuing to stay involved.

139
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:22,760
And, you know, to be quite honest, ultimately, what happened to me is I ended up on six boards.

140
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,600
I was on six nonprofit boards.

141
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:31,760
And this is, and mentoring, you know, so you really do, I had to like have a talk with Wendy,

142
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:36,480
like Wendy, you need to think about this because if you're on six boards, you are not giving

143
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:42,400
your fuller, you're all to every one of those boards, maybe not even any of them.

144
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:47,160
So I'd have a long, long hard chat with Wendy and, you know, come to the fact of, okay, what

145
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,160
are boards specifically?

146
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,560
I was talking about now, two, you know, what are your top two boards and what are the top two

147
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,480
things that you're super, super passionate about?

148
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,880
And stop with the other boards, you know, back down from the other boards, but continue

149
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,240
to support those organizations in other ways.

150
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:07,800
And that could be, you know, volunteering, speaking, you know, mentoring, whatever that is.

151
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,080
So I had to, I had to really have to think about that.

152
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,480
And because it's, I do not say no.

153
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,440
I have a, like, horrible, horrible time saying no.

154
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,280
So maybe you can be my accountability, buddy Melissa.

155
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,720
I have got no figured out.

156
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,320
So I am happy to do that for you.

157
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,800
And I think you touched on a really good, a really good point.

158
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,280
I want to dive a little deeper on.

159
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:38,160
So, you know, we're all an experienced and cognitive overload all the time constantly.

160
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,520
And there's a lot at us.

161
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:44,480
There's a lot of changes in our personal, our life as we get older, our parents age were,

162
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:50,120
we're helping, as when we help a lot of people and it takes a lot, takes a lot from us.

163
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:55,080
And one of the things you touched on keeping a journal of people you've mentored and keeping

164
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:59,680
track, I think that's a really good point in a sense that if you have, you know, a lot of

165
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:05,000
people have relationships with people and you can't remember your husband's names or kids

166
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,360
names who they work for.

167
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,360
It's hard to remember all these intricate little things about people.

168
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,160
I tend, I'm an Apple person, Apple phone person.

169
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:20,680
I put those pieces of information in my notes part in my phone.

170
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,560
So I can keep track of, you know, how's your son, Johnny?

171
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,560
How's your husband?

172
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,240
How's your wife, Susie?

173
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,560
You know, did you guys move into your new house?

174
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:36,520
And that's an easy way to remember something special about that person.

175
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:41,960
And I know it's happened to me where people have remembered my husband or my son or different

176
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:42,960
things about me.

177
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,560
And I'm like, oh, wow, how did they remember my husband's name?

178
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:51,960
And so I challenge everybody listening to think about who has made an impact on you and

179
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,880
what have they done to make you feel special?

180
00:11:55,880 --> 00:12:00,560
Does it remember your, you know, your husband's name or your child's name?

181
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:06,480
And I would, I would challenge you to replicate that to others because it's one thing to see

182
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,680
people and engage people.

183
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:13,080
And it's a whole nother thing to remember that they like, you know, football or they have

184
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,320
children or that they're looking for a new job.

185
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:21,520
So, you know, talk to me a little bit about some tips and tricks on how you, I know you

186
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,840
mentioned the journal, how you are able to, I mean, you have a man.

187
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,400
You're a massive network of people that you're constantly impacting and moving like you

188
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,400
mentioned six boards.

189
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,240
That's a lot in a day in a day's work to keep track of and do.

190
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:40,240
So any tips or tricks that you have that you can share with our listeners?

191
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:45,960
This is, oh, and by the way, something that I know Melissa is very passionate about is fine

192
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,520
wine and she's a foodie.

193
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:53,560
So these are, I call them, and Mrs. Stolen from the show Parks and Rec, Friendship Muggets.

194
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,560
I'm left-winged right now.

195
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,760
I put little friendship nuggets in my head.

196
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:02,800
A lot of it is really just, you know, it's my memory.

197
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,760
And when I meet someone and I'm just like when I met you, we're going to be friends.

198
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,200
I can tell already.

199
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:14,240
So I have that, that energy and passion to really remember that the little things, right?

200
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,280
As you said, which make people feel so special.

201
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,560
And then I also do, I'm also a user of the notes in the iPhone as well.

202
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:28,720
My issue, Melissa, as I think you've noticed is oftentimes I do not have my glasses with me.

203
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,840
And I'm an old lady who's blind as a bat.

204
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,080
So I'm like, I have to hold my phone out here.

205
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,560
So I'm thinking of like maybe I'm going to start to carry an iPad with me so I could see

206
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,560
it.

207
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,560
It's better.

208
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,560
But yeah, it's, I do have a good memory.

209
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:46,560
My husband said, well, walk in your room and I was like, he like, what was that one?

210
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,200
I was like, that's Melissa.

211
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,200
She's a foodie.

212
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200
She likes fine wine.

213
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,000
I'm like, that's so and so they do got a new puppy.

214
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,880
So part of that is just part of Wendy.

215
00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:02,400
But then, you know, I do like to keep a little extra set of notes on the side for sure.

216
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,400
I love it.

217
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,400
Are you familiar with Jim Quikidol?

218
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,600
His memory.

219
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:12,240
I've read his book a few times and it if you haven't and you don't know Jim.

220
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,240
I haven't.

221
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,240
I know what it is.

222
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:20,160
It's a great book to read for those that struggle with names or things they have.

223
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:25,160
To do he has a really quick YouTube channel on how to remember things.

224
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:29,800
So when you walk in a room and you like you mentioned, your husband doesn't remember names.

225
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:36,240
It's a really interesting way to tie, you know, people's personality is the way they look

226
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,000
back to their names so you remember.

227
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:43,480
So he's really great if you haven't read his book or listened to any of his audio on YouTube.

228
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,440
He's a great person.

229
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:50,760
So for the audience, hello, fun fact and great, great quick, quick trip.

230
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,440
And I guess hence the name Jim Quikidol is that his real last name.

231
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,040
Yep, it's his real last name.

232
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,040
Great.

233
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,640
My husband's getting that.

234
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,760
Yeah, go get it.

235
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,360
It's a great book.

236
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:10,400
He had a brain injury actually and he wasn't so his story is fascinating to learn about

237
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,480
how he ended up in where he is and in writing the book.

238
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,640
So it's a great.

239
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:20,480
It's a great book to pick up, but does he have a time to talk?

240
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,480
He has, I think he has done some TED talks as well.

241
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,000
It's sounding familiar now that you're telling me the story.

242
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
That's.

243
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,880
Yeah, yeah.

244
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,080
So when you first, just tying back to what we've first started with, when you first meet

245
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,680
somebody, you don't know them, you don't know their name, you don't know where they're

246
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,320
from, you know, nothing about them.

247
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:46,840
But walk me through what what happens for you when you're first meeting somebody for the

248
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:47,840
first time.

249
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,640
And you're trying to connect with them, make an impact.

250
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:55,680
Like, how do you go, go about you're in a networking event, you see, you know, a person,

251
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,880
walk me through your process of meeting and connecting with people.

252
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:00,880
Yeah.

253
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,920
And first off, I am the world's biggest extrovert.

254
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:09,840
So it's, it's very easy for me to feel comfortable in, you know, large crowds or small

255
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,840
incidents.

256
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,720
And I, and I'm hugger.

257
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,520
Like, if I meet someone who knows someone else, like, I think I probably hugged you the first

258
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,520
time I met you.

259
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,520
You did.

260
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,520
That's just me.

261
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,520
It's part of Wendy.

262
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:27,640
And, but what I do is I try to go, like, like, just like, it's about you, the person that

263
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,640
I'm speaking to.

264
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,120
So tell me about you.

265
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,680
What's your background?

266
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:32,920
What, you know, what do you do?

267
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:33,920
What's your focus?

268
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,120
What are your passions?

269
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,160
I always ask about that as one of the very first questions.

270
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:44,200
Is instead of what company do you work for and what do you do?

271
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,040
That's not nearly as personal as tell me what your passions are.

272
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,800
Are you a dog person?

273
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,960
Tell me, oh, here's my line when I'm talking to maybe someone new who's thinking about executive

274
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,960
council network.

275
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,320
I said, well, let's talk, you know, tell me, tell me about you.

276
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,080
Let's start with personal.

277
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,160
Dogs, cats, kids, family, goldfish, tell me about that.

278
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,880
That's like my one liner.

279
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,120
I use that all the time.

280
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,760
People usually laugh when you throw the goldfish thing in.

281
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,960
And they're like, well, and one person has actually said, yes, I do have goldfish.

282
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,960
So that was really, really funny.

283
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:21,000
That's just a weird little, I don't know, I guess, an demonic that I use and just trying

284
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,040
to get personal, you know, without being in someone's face.

285
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:31,440
And for the most part, even, you know, obviously because I'm so extroverted and, you know,

286
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,760
talking to someone who's like, really quite introverted or shy could be in sometimes

287
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:40,360
uncomfortable, but that even works with someone who's an introvert and shy when you just throw

288
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:45,160
out that, you know, telling about your passions and like your family and dogs, cats, kids,

289
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,440
goldfish, that seems to really just like break a wall down or it has for me.

290
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,800
I don't know whether it works in all instances, but it's been, it's been great for me.

291
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,240
And that's a great, great point.

292
00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:03,480
So if you're not extrovert, I'm a, I'm a recovering introvert, now extrovert.

293
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,880
And so I think for people that aren't extroverted, Wendy makes a really good point is having

294
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,960
a question that you're comfortable asking.

295
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,800
So something that you're comfortable asking people, you know, I, I used to be one of those

296
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,200
people that would walk in a room and stand by myself until somebody'd walk up and feel

297
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,600
that for me and talk to me.

298
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:27,320
And I really had to force myself out of that comfort zone and I, I led with, you know,

299
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,880
why are you here at this event?

300
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:33,440
What brings you to this and why are you involved in this association or how did you hear

301
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,440
about it?

302
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:39,640
So I think she made a really good point coming up with a question and I'm a similar personality.

303
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,560
I, I think everything's got to be fun and funny and I'm in, right?

304
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:49,720
And so if you're, if, if being fun and funny and spunky is not your thing, pick something

305
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:50,720
that is your thing.

306
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:56,240
Pick, pick something that's true to you because it will come across authentic to the people

307
00:18:56,240 --> 00:19:02,600
that you're talking to and trying to, to build a relationship and impact through your

308
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:09,440
conversations and, you know, I, I always, this happened to me for me years ago when I was

309
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:16,760
first working in, as to become a better networker is putting myself in these situations that

310
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:21,440
make myself uncomfortable and that saying, you know, you're the average of the five people

311
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,960
that you spend the most time with has always resonated for me.

312
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,920
So I'd always wanted to be an extrovert.

313
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,320
So I always hung out with extroverted people.

314
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,920
And over time, I became an extroverted person.

315
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:41,360
So, you know, tying this kind of all back together, I think, you know, you really are a masterful

316
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:46,200
networker and not because you are an extrovert because you care.

317
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,280
I think that's the one thing about you that I love is you truly care.

318
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,840
You don't ask about people's dog cats and goldfish.

319
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:58,120
You do that to get them to open up, which will lead you kind of to the second layer.

320
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:04,080
They say they have no animals and then you're going to ask them something else about to get

321
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,800
them answering so you can connect with them right away.

322
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:13,720
I think you do that fabulously and naturally is, oh, you have a UT sweater on.

323
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,040
Did you go to university of Texas?

324
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,000
Are you a long horns fan?

325
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,520
You find something to connect no matter what the situation is with people.

326
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,920
And that's just just so it's so fun.

327
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:32,200
I mean, it makes actually, you know, the dreaded quote unquote networking so much fun.

328
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:38,200
And there's such a difference between, you know, I think of people who are maybe trying

329
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,000
to get on board seats and stuff like that.

330
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,920
So we do this event all the time with ESEAN.

331
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,840
And there's like, there's networking.

332
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,600
Like, you walk into a room with a thousand people.

333
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,600
There's that.

334
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:54,400
But then there's really, there can also be, I use this concept of very intentional networking.

335
00:20:54,400 --> 00:21:01,600
And if you go in with a, this is what I'd like to accomplish at this type of event on this

336
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,840
day, you know, as opposed to just, I'm just going to go in and meet a thousand people that

337
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:09,640
I don't think that's necessarily for me only for me.

338
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,240
I don't think that's necessarily as productive as, you know, the event.

339
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,840
I was at last night where I was speaking on a panel and I was very specifically wanting

340
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,320
to meet other community leaders that I hadn't met yet.

341
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,280
Like, there was five people in the panel and YJ from town, from Dell.

342
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,640
So I knew all of them as community leaders, but I went out and met, I don't know, at least

343
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:34,200
five, eight other community leaders that I hadn't yet connected with and, and you can

344
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,440
self-buy, right?

345
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:41,600
So it's more than just our Austin crew, which I love, love our network here in Austin.

346
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:49,000
But that's a, maybe being intentional, I think, especially if you're an introvert, I think

347
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:54,240
maybe like doing some very intentional networking, like I want to try and meet two people who fill

348
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,640
in the blank or two people that fill in the blank.

349
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:03,760
That I think might make it less overwhelming for someone who's not like, like Wendy.

350
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,360
So, and that's a great point.

351
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,600
I think, you know, if you're going into a network event, you know, nobody setting, like you

352
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:15,400
said, I want to meet two new people and having prepared in your brain, what you need.

353
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,840
So maybe you're looking for a job or your new in town and you're looking for a network of

354
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:25,680
people that connect with being mindful and aware of what you want out of that event.

355
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,200
I like to connect with two people.

356
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,200
I'm new to Austin.

357
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,480
I'd like to build a community around me.

358
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,720
And when you meet somebody telling them that, hi, I'm Melissa.

359
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,200
I'm new to Austin.

360
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:39,880
I'd like to learn the best places to eat in Austin and I'm interested in tech.

361
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,480
Who should I connect with here?

362
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:48,560
I think when you ask that in networking and in the community, people are more than happy

363
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,320
in my experience to help you get whatever your ask is.

364
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:57,080
And if they don't know, they'll probably point you in the direction of somebody else that

365
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,080
might know.

366
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,080
Absolutely.

367
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,840
And I think that's a brilliant point.

368
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:06,280
And I think I come from, I'm not from originally, but we spend a lot of time in the Silicon

369
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,280
Valley.

370
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:12,240
Both working in tech companies, the large, a lot of tech companies.

371
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:20,760
But I was forever just fascinated and impressed when we moved here to Austin about the difference

372
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:26,720
in the personality or culture of that space in, I'm not sliding the Silicon Valley that

373
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,720
I am.

374
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,120
You know, there it is all about how can I beat you?

375
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,320
How can I compete with you?

376
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,320
How can I do this?

377
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,600
Drive, drive, drive, fast, fast, fast.

378
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,040
And we all do that.

379
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:39,200
And I got to Austin and that was one of the things that just made me so happy here as it's

380
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:44,680
sort of a natural networker is people come up to me and they're like, hey, I'm Bob.

381
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:45,680
How can I help you?

382
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:46,960
How can I partner with you?

383
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,960
I was amazed by that here.

384
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:53,880
And I think if we could replicate, there's something special about where we live.

385
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:58,700
I think if we could replicate that and I was, I was slagging Silicon Valley last night

386
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,520
at my panel, I'm not going to lie.

387
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:07,120
It's like, we have a really special sort of community here, I think, regardless of whether

388
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:11,000
you're an interpreter or an extroverted, there's people for everyone here.

389
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,520
I guess is what I would say.

390
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,600
Yeah, well said.

391
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,840
And I think I want to plug back into another thing you mentioned at the beginning was you

392
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,480
say yes a lot.

393
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:26,080
And I think that's another good quality to do is to say yes, to get out of your comfort

394
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,320
zones, to try different foods you never tried, to go to different events you've never

395
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:31,320
gone to.

396
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,320
And I always say, say yes within boundaries.

397
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,360
Don't say yes to being on a board.

398
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:41,320
If you know you don't have the time to be on the board, you've got to say yes to things

399
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:47,400
that you know you have time to do and you can show up and be present in those things.

400
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,960
So I think that's another good point.

401
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:55,480
Yeah, not having, you know, having said yes even too much, you know, and I'm a recovering

402
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,480
yes person.

403
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:01,280
So it's not that I'm going to say you know everything but I just try to be more focused so I can

404
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,960
make sure I can give you know, 100% to those things that I'm involved with as well.

405
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:11,480
Yeah, making sure you're going to, you're going to be able to keep your commitments and

406
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,360
do what you say you're going to do.

407
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:21,160
So top three things for people that are either extroverted or introverted, if they want

408
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:26,080
to work on making and impact on people and having better relationships.

409
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:31,400
From your perspective, what are like maybe top three things they could work on or do?

410
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:38,200
Yeah, well one and we were just talking about it is, but for me it's like what are your

411
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,920
absolute top passions?

412
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:45,360
I mean if you, I put it in a little sentence or when you use more passionate about making

413
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:50,240
connections and building community, then maybe anything like that's like my top top.

414
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,840
So everything stems down from there.

415
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:59,080
So I would say figure out your top, you know, one or two, maybe three passions and focus

416
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:05,920
in that area from both a networking perspective, from a where you want to give your time back

417
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,880
to I.e., if it's you know, girls in tech.

418
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:14,400
Well, there's a big global girls in tech nonprofit that you can go and spend time with and

419
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,920
give back.

420
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:23,400
And I guess I would say thirdly is, you know, don't and we just talk about it, I think those

421
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:30,600
the top three don't over commit your time because then you will not be providing the value

422
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,400
that you truly could if you know, you're, if you're a little more balanced.

423
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,720
And in our world today is you will know Melissa.

424
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,800
It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, everything is going a thousand miles an hour and it's

425
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,800
your point.

426
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,240
We have, we have careers.

427
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:48,160
We have families, we have dogs, we have aging parents, we have all those things.

428
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:54,800
So actually, Brooke who works for me, she always like, she talks about the word boundary

429
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,800
is a lot.

430
00:26:55,800 --> 00:27:01,120
So just, just know you can do tons and you can give back and you know, connect and support

431
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:05,480
the causes that you like, but you still have to maintain your own personal and family

432
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:11,080
boundaries, I guess is something I'm working on and I'm not very good at it, but I'm trying.

433
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,680
We're all working progress.

434
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,680
We're all working on something so.

435
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,000
WIP exactly.

436
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,280
Thank you so much for your insights today Wendy.

437
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,520
How can a listeners connect with you keep in touch with you?

438
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,000
Tell us about you.

439
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:29,440
Yeah, it's to first and foremost, LinkedIn.

440
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,600
I really don't do very any other social media anymore.

441
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,240
I do everything really on LinkedIn.

442
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,240
Then I just had to get back on the Facebook to help my daughter find a new flat in Dublin

443
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,480
don't even.

444
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:51,400
So it's just, yeah, I mean, just, you know, live life knowing that the more that we can give

445
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:57,560
back the better, like the human race is, but yeah, so LinkedIn is where to find me.

446
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:02,600
I do run an organization called executive council network that's really all about connections

447
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:08,720
and community and lifelong learning and, you know, speaking opportunity, all sorts of great

448
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,600
things that we do for our members.

449
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:16,880
But the fifth core value that we have at UCN and not many particular order, but the next core

450
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,160
value that we have is social impact is driving impact in the world.

451
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,680
So that's, I mean, that's my story and I was sticking to it.

452
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,480
Those are where my passions lie.

453
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,000
I love it.

454
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:33,880
Thank you so much for being here today and that's executive connects.

455
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,280
You've been listening to the executive connect podcast.

456
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:42,400
If you have questions or ideas on how to bring leadership to the next level, email us at

457
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,760
executive connect podcast@gmail.com.

458
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,640
And don't forget to subscribe so you can catch every new episode.

459
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,640
Until next time.

460
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:57,480
[MUSIC]

